1 . Knowing How and When to Say Sorry Can Build Better Friendship
Have you ever argued with a friend and said or done something you regretted?
Why do we argue?
We argue for all kinds of reasons. For example, you might think your football team is fantastic, but your friend disagrees, or you don’t want someone to join in your game. Sometimes, especially if you are angry, things can become out of control, and you’ll say or do something you regret.
What does saying sorry mean?
We all make mistakes, and apologizing is a way of admitting we’ve got something wrong and will try not to do it again.
Sometimes another person may pressure you into taking the blame when it has nothing to do with you. If you feel this is happening, try talking about why you argued in the first place and explain how it made you feel. If you still can’t agree, you could ask a parent or teacher to help you resolve the problem.
Does apologizing always work?
A genuine apology is a magic word. It may take time for someone to understand and forgive.
| A．What if it’s not my fault |
| B．How should we apologize to others |
| C．Try it again if you fail to get others’ forgiveness |
| D．Even after you’ve said sorry, you could still feel bad |
| E．Arguing and disagreeing with others occasionally is normal |
| F．It may be hard to say sorry, but if you want to make something better you must try |
| G．Sometimes it can be hard to put things right, especially when feelings have been hurt |
2 . Friendship is a very beautiful bond in which no one is big or small, no one is rich or poor, and no one is ugly or beautiful.
Be happy and cheerful about your friends’ success. Always stand by your friends.
| A．When you meet an old friend in a party |
| B．If you are looking for a friend who is faultless |
| C．Ask your new friends questions about themselves. |
| D．Friendship means understanding, bonding and helpfulness. |
| E．One good friend is better than thousands of ordinary friends. |
| F．Never be selfish, and always try to give more and expect less. |
| G．For a good friendship,one needs true love, and children are full of love. |
3 . Search “toxic parents”, and you’ll find more than 38, 000 posts, largely urging young adults to cut ties with their families. The idea is to safeguard one’s mental health from abusive parents. However, as a psychoanalyst (精神分析学家), I’ve seen that trend in recent years become a way to manage conflicts in the family, and I have seen the severe impacts estrangement (疏远) has on both sides of the divide. This is a self-help trend that creates much harm.
“Canceling” your parent can be seen as an extension of a cultural trend aimed at correcting imbalances in power and systemic inequality. Today’s social justice values respond to this reality, calling on us to criticize oppressive and harmful figures and to gain power for those who have been powerless. But when adult children use the most effective tool they have – themselves – to gain a sense of security and ban their parents from their lives, the roles are simply switched, and the pain only deepens.
Often, what I see in my practice are cases of family conflict mismanaged, power dynamics turned upside down rather than negotiated. I see the terrible effect of that trend: situations with no winners, only isolated humans who long to be known and feel safe in the presence of the other.
The catch is that after estrangement, adult children are not suddenly less dependent. In fact, they feel abandoned and betrayed, because in the unconscious, it doesn’t matter who is doing the leaving; the feeling that remains is “being left”. They carry the ghosts of their childhood, tackling the emotional reality that those who raised us can never truly be left behind, no matter how hard we try.
What I have found is that most of these families need repair, not permanent break-up. How can one learn how to negotiate needs, to create boundaries and to trust? How can we love others, and ourselves, if not through accepting the limitations that come with being human? Good relationships are the result not of a perfect level of harmony but rather of successful adjustments.
To pursue dialogue instead of estrangement will be hard and painful work. It can’t be a single project of “self-help”, because at the end of the day, real intimacy (亲密关系) is achieved by working through the injuries of the past together. In most cases of family conflict, repair is possible and preferable to estrangement – and it’s worth the work.
1. Why do young people cut ties with the family?| A．To gain an independent life. | B．To restore harmony in the family. |
| C．To protect their psychological well-being. | D．To follow a tendency towards social justice. |
| A．Response. | B．Problem. | C．Operation. | D．Emphasis. |
| A．break down boundaries | B．gain power within the family |
| C．live up to their parents’ expectations | D．accept imperfection of family members |
| A．To advocate a self-help trend. | B．To justify a common social value. |
| C．To argue against a current practice. | D．To discuss a means of communication. |
4 . Building connection and friendship with other people is a necessary part of being human. There are ways to help you make new friends, as well as to take better care of the friendships you already have.
Accept the awkwardness (尴尬) and assume that other people need new friends, too.
Remember that people will like you more than you think
When you are moving through the world, don’t forget that human connection is yours for the taking.
Take up activities that you love
Ask anyone about how to make friends and they will most likely tell you to try a new hobby.
It’s OK to treat friendships seriously
Having friends is one of the most nourishing (滋养的) parts of being alive, so it’s not strange or bad or wrong to prioritize (优先考虑) it. Get comfortable putting yourself out there a little bit.
But if you want to prioritize and nourish your friendships, you have to show up for them. Listen and notice things about your friends. Take notes! It will help you remember your conversations and allow you to mention them later. Remember the names of people in your friends’ lives. Ask to see a picture of the person they’re talking about so it sticks better in your head.
| A．Be present and attentive. |
| B．It might sound strange, but it works. |
| C．Make positive friends and get along well. |
| D．It’s strange and uncomfortable to make new friends. |
| E．Your friends will be proud of you and learn from you. |
| F．Spare the time and space you need to find and nourish your friendships. |
| G．When you talk to someone else, you’re actually going to brighten their day. |
5 . People are taught how to speak, but good sentence structure and a wide range of vocabulary words won’t always lead to being understood or understanding others.
The good news is that it’s never too late to learn how to communicate more effectively. The first step is to realize you’ re having communication issues.
You have the same fights over and over.
Your fights are about the same topic again and again. If this is happening, it means you don’t yet have the skills to resolve conflicts.
You don’t want to fight so you try not to bring up subjects that lead only to pain and disconnection. The problem is that avoiding them leads to pain and disconnection anyway. Unless you learn how to have hard conversations productively, you will get more and more disconnected until your relationship is in danger of ending.
You regularly feel misunderstood or unheard.
No matter how hard you try, you don’t feel understood. Perhaps your partner has expressed the same feeling.Over time the disconnected feeling does damage to your relationship. It’s important to learn how to communicate in a better way, so that both you and the other person feel heard and understood.
| A．You avoid discussing certain topics. |
| B．You argue with your partners about some issues. |
| C．If you can’t resolve issues, they will continue to show up. |
| D．This requires more than just speaking to your partner or vice versa. |
| E．Then, you can learn how to communicate in a more productive way. |
| F．If you leave conflicts unsettled, you will feel disconnected and lonely. |
| G．Effective communication requires much more than being able to speak. |
6 . When it comes to unlikely friendships, wildlife never stops to amaze. And a giant 450-pound gorilla (大猩猩) sharing a heart-warming moment with a 0.5-pound wild bushbaby (灌丛婴猴) is definitely an unusual sight to be seen.
Over 300 rescued animals live at Ape Action Africa, Cameroon — a sanctuary (鸟兽保护区) for endangered animals like gorillas, chimpanzees and monkeys. Bobo, a western lowland gorilla, is among the first residents at the sanctuary. The huge male arrived at the sanctuary when he was only two, after losing his mom due to poaching (偷猎). And back then, Bobo was far from the strong male he’s now.
Even though he’s such a fearless animal, Bobo is nothing but a gentle giant. And recently, his gentleness even blew away the caretakers at the sanctuary. While on their morning checks, the caretakers could not believe their eyes when they saw Bobo sharing a lovely moment with his newest and most unusual friend —a wild bushbaby.
It’s quite amazing to watch the tiny animal interacting in such a friendly manner with its giant neighbor. “The bushbaby showed no fear of Bobo,”said Elissa O’Sullivan, spokesperson for Ape Action Africa. “He moved around Bobo’s body and spent his time jumping around in an open grassy area, before choosing to return to Bobo.”
Wild bushbabies are normally nocturnal animals, so watching a bushbaby hanging with a group of gorillas in full daylight was even more amazing for the caretakers. “It is very uncommon to see a bushbaby during the day,” a staff member said. “We have never seen a wild animal interacting with a rescued one at the sanctuary.”
The other gorillas —three females and three young males, soon became very interested in Bobo’s new friend. However, Bobo suddenly became overprotective towards his tiny companion and he kept his group away from it. “Bobo’s group-mates were extremely curious, but he kept them all at a distance, making sure that no one disturbed (打扰) his new friend,” another staff member said. “The little bushbaby was happy to play in Bobo’s arms.”
1. What do we know about Bobo?| A．He lost a family member at age two. |
| B．He was born at a large sanctuary. |
| C．He protected his mother from poaching. |
| D．He was the first gorilla at Ape Action Africa. |
| A．Bobo made a surprising new friend. |
| B．A bushbaby was lying beside Bobo. |
| C．Bobo jumped around with his friends. |
| D．A bushbaby returned to care for Bobo. |
| A．The animals that live in the bushes. |
| B．The animals that like to hunt alone. |
| C．The animals that hang with large animals. |
| D．The animals that rest during the daytime. |
| A．Unselfish. | B．Unfriendly. | C．Uncaring. | D．Unclear. |
7 . Many of us were lucky enough to have some degree of choice over what we eat. But are the decisions we make as free as we think? What if there is something other than our own hunger that influences what we eat? Look through social media sites and you will see picture after picture of perfectly presented and extremely delicious-looking meals. While the smell and taste of food can have a powerful effect on our appetite, are endless posts of steaming snacks and inviting dishes more than just a feast for our eyes?
Certainly, it appears we’re hugely influenced by other people——especially those closest to us——when it comes to what we eat. Our eating habits are also influenced by what we see. “There is some evidence that if you see pictures of food, that visual stimulation can make you feel a desire to eat, ” says a UK scientist.
But social media is one place where social and visual aspects meet. There is evidence that if friends in your social network post regularly about particular types of food, it could lead you to copy them. If all your friends on social media are posting pictures of themselves consuming fast food, it’s going to cause you to form a false belief that eating fast food is what all people do.
Research suggests photos of fast food are more likely to make us feel good. Humans tend to, naturally, seek out high-calorie food——an ability that helped our ancestors survive when they hunted for food. In comparison, healthier foods are often seen as boring. Scientists are becoming increasingly concerned about food-related content on social media which is making us thinking differently about food. Social media algorithms (算法) promote content that users respond more, so viewing more unhealthy food means seeing even more of it on our social media.
1. Which statement will the author probably agree with?| A．Social media should be prohibited. |
| B．We always choose what we eat at will. |
| C．Social media may affect our own food choices. |
| D．It’s inappropriate to ignore friends’ posts of dishes. |
| A．They can be misleading. |
| B．They are time-consuming. |
| C．They are all made-up. |
| D．They are a bond of friendship. |
| A．They are more beautiful. |
| B．The cause is hard to explain. |
| C．They are associated with health. |
| D．The cause is biologically rooted. |
| A．It’s inspiring. |
| B．It’s worrying. |
| C．It’s appealing. |
| D．It’s boring. |
8 . Supporting Others
We’re always being told that the secret to happiness lies in helping others. Indeed, it’s natural to want to support those we care about, especially if we are in a position to do so.
When we offer support, it may not always be wanted.
Try to be mindful of offering support that is disabling, rather than enabling. My son, when aged five, wanted to make a cup of tea. I could see how inspiring it was for him to be able to do this. So I filled the kettle and took him through the safety measures. It felt like a huge risk but it worked. His pleasure was immeasurable. The same principle applies when we offer support that increases someone else’s capacity.
Sometimes the only support that’s needed is to listen without judgement.
Support often works best when it’s a two-way process. It is good to know how to accept help from others as well as offer support to them.
| A．Here are the pros and cons of supporting others. |
| B．Just be there, while someone lets out their feelings. |
| C．Ask what support is needed and provide a practical one. |
| D．This can often be a bigger gift than just doing it for them. |
| E．But we can do more by thinking about the support we offer. |
| F．Because being judgmental can only make someone annoyed. |
| G．Sometimes people are trying to manage life in their own way. |
9 . How can you build trust when meeting strangers?
Say hello.
The quickest and surest way to befriend someone you don’t know is to simply say hello.
Approach a stranger that has caught your attention and say something along the lines of, “Hey how’s the day going so far? ”
People approach one another because they assume that there will be a particular outcome.
The fact is our assumptions about someone affects how you interact with them. You’re more likely to build up friendship if you spend more time listening to someone than waiting for them to fulfill your assumptions about them.
Keep a positive attitude.
If you run into someone that does not warmly receive a friendly “Hello,” don’t let this ruin your day. Remind yourself that most people are excited when someone breaks the ice.
When someone turns a cold shoulder to your attempts to start a conversation, note that whatever reason they have for doing so has nothing to do with you. They may have just missed Their chance.
Talk to strangers daily.
Plenty of people are shy, if not fearful, of introducing themselves to strangers.
| A．Be ready to listen. |
| B．Find common ground . |
| C．Reach out to someone else instead. |
| D．Think about what you know about this person. |
| E．This alone can get a friendly conversation going. |
| F．The best way to get over this shyness is to ignore it. |
| G．Focus on listening closely to people you’ve just met. |
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I first met Li Meng at a friend birthday party five years ago. Then I invited Li Meng over in my place. We listen to my CDs together and soon became good friends. Three years ago, Li Meng’s parents invited I to spend two wonderful week in Qingdao with them during the summer holiday. Li Meng and I loved walking along the beautifully beaches there. Last year I was ill but had to stay in hospital for a week. Li Meng came see me every day. Then, her father has changed jobs and they moved to another city. Since then we haven’t see each other much, but we’ve kept writing to each other.
