1 . A team of communication professors from the Brigham Young University discovered that people using the social media platform Facebook can be divided into four different categories (类别) . Their findings basically tell us why an average of l.28 billion people check their Facebook every day, with most users spending about 35 minutes daily on Facebook.

To identify (鉴定) different kinds of Facebook users, the researchers made a list of 48 reasons why people use Facebook. They then asked study subjects to report their personal connection to the reasons, rating each from “most like me” to “least like me”. To get a better understanding of them, the researchers interviewed each subject.

Based on the results, the researchers identified four categories of Facebook users: relationship builders, town criers (街头公告员) , selfies (自拍) and window shoppers.

Relationship builders and selfies often post pictures, videos and text updates on their Facebook. Relationship builders post mainly to further strengthen the relationships they have beyond the virtual (虚拟的) world. Selfies are more focused on getting attention, likes and comments. Town criers often post information, and share news stories and details of events. On the other hand, window shoppers are more likely to be onlookers who prefer watching what other people do.

The researchers noted that Facebook users may place themselves in more than one of the categories. For example, most people are likely to be selfies. However, users can find themselves more in one category than the others.

2 . Studies find that people are likely to want to be your friend if you are of more modest means. “When trying to make new friends, people think that high status symbols will make them look more socially attractive to potential friends. However, it turns out that potential friends are repelled (排斥) by the high-status symbols on others,” says Professor Stephen Garcia, the lead author.

In one study, researchers presented 125 participants from a wealthy suburb with one of two scenarios. Those in the presenter’s scenario picked between a luxury car or a basic car to drive to an outdoor wedding party where they could meet new friends, and those in the evaluator’s scenario indicated their reaction to someone arriving in either car.

Nearly two-thirds of the individuals in the presenter’s condition believed the luxury car would be more effective in making friends. However, this choice backfired from the perspective of the would-be friends, who expressed significantly less social interest in those individuals; they expressed more social interest in those with the basic car, Garcia says.

Another study asked people which of two plain T-shirts the participants would wear to a picnic in their efforts to make new friends. One T-shirt had the name of the supermarket, “Walmart”, written on it, and the other T-shirt had the name of the luxury store “Saks Fifth Avenue” written on it.

Seventy-six percent of the participants who were presenting themselves chose to wear the T-shirt with “Saks Fifth Avenue,” whereas 64 percent of the would-be friends chose the person wearing the “Walmart” T-shirt as a potential new friend.

Researchers say that the findings only apply to the formation of new friendships. “In the case of forming business contacts, our last study in this series of studies finds that using high-status symbols can be helpful in attracting would-be contacts but not remarkably more so than using more ordinary-status symbols.” says coauthor Patricia Chen.

7 . It’s normal to quarrel with a partner, but how do you make up afterward?     1     Give your partner positive attention and show that you’re willing to make changes for the benefit of your relationship.

Acknowledge your role in the argument.

Recognize that regardless of what the quarrel was about, you played a role in it.     2     For example, you may have shouted at your partner or talked over them when they needed you to listen. You can say, “I made assumptions without hearing you out first. I didn’t listen to you, and I admit that was wrong of me.”

Deal with your anger.

Quarrels often lead to anger and upset.     3     Think about what causes your anger and try and see the big picture. Journal your feelings to help you explore them and understand them better. For example, if you’re upset that your partner didn’t tell you the truth, write about your experience and how it made you feel. You might discover that your anger is really about feeling ignored or wanting more attention.

    4    

Express your regret for doing it. Show empathy (同理心) by acknowledging their emotions and how you are impacting them. Definitely, say “I’m sorry” so that your partner knows you are sincerely apologizing for your wrongdoing. For example, say, “I’m sorry I screamed at you. I know it makes you feel disrespected, so I apologize.” Forgive your partner.

Tell your partner that you forgive them and let them know that you are letting go of grudges (嫌隙) and leaving the past in the past. It’s also a way to release your negative emotions and choose a new beginning.     5    

8 . My college roommate and I decided to decorate our dormitory (寝室). We thought that colored lights would be perfect. But having none, we painted all of our light bulbs red. When we turned the lights on, the room shone with a dark and blood-red light.

I learned a couple of things about painted light bulbs. I learned, first, that one can’t study by red lighting. Not that studying was the most important for us, but the dark red bulbs were of no help. And very quickly I learned something else: Paint burns. Smoke from our bulbs sent us outside for breath.

Colored bulbs may be nice to look at, but they don’t give much light. We put up colored lights as decoration. They are designed to call attention to themselves, but never to light a room. We might say. “Aren’t they pretty?” But we do not use them to illumine (照明) an area. Clear lights, on the other hand, show off all that is nearby. We may put a directional light at a wall and said, “What a lovely painting!.”

Clear lights illumine the world around us. I wonder if people are like lights, too. We may say of someone, “Isn’t she smart? She always amazes me with her brilliance.” And of another we might say, “I always feel better when he is around. He seems to know me. And he believes in me.”

It is as if one shines so brilliantly that the room is filled with a colorful light. But the other shines on those nearby, clearly illuminating their goodness. If I am to be a light in this world, I think I’ll lose the paint. Clear lights are best.