2 . Stop Negative Talk
“I’m so fat,” one of your friends says. The girl next to her joins in. “Welf, I hate my hair today.” Without thinking, you respond “No, you ate not fat! I am fat. And my hair is flat and boring.” 1
It is easy for people to engage in self-critical conversations, and once it starts there is often pressure for you to join in. 2 Maybe it is because “just talking” feels harmless. But before you know it, those opinions flow out of your conversations and into your life, where they start eating away at your self-respect.
3 When you start talking about yourself in a negative way, you are not only affecting your self-respect, but your friends! When you criticize yourself, your friends might think you have the same standards for them. You have heard that it is important to treat others the way you want to be treated, but there is also value in treating yourself like you treat your friends. If you wouldn't criticize your friend for the same thing, chances are that you are being too hard on yourself. So, don't start it.
But what if someone else starts? For example, your friend feels insecure about how well he played in his soccer game, so he puts himself down. “I suck at soccer.” 4 Ask him, “do you really think that? Why?” Maybe he is actually upset about a comment someone made, or is just getting down on himself over one bad play. Whatever it is, talking through the real issue will help him more than slipping into another negative talk.
It is important to talk to your friend about your insecurities, but make sure you are not talking about them just to put yourself down. 5 Instead of just focusing on the negative, talk about what makes you and your friends beautiful and unique-including what you love about your body und what you have accomplished. When you show yourself love, you set yourself as an example, and everyone benefits from you positively.
| A．Negative talk affects self-respect. |
| B．Criticizing yourself helps nobody. |
| C．But why do we hesitate to praise ourselves? |
| D．But why is it acceptable to talk so negatively? |
| E．All it takes is just one comment and the negative talk starts. |
| F．It is better to resist negative conversations and create more balanced ones. |
| G．Before everyone puts himself down, see if you can get to the root of the problem |
