1 . Meeting strangers is probably one of most people’s biggest fears, only second to speaking in front of a crowd. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be an experience as scary as you might think.     1     .

Go out alone. Don’t always go to events with a friend or family member.     2     . If you go with someone you’re familiar with, you’re more likely to stay and talk to the person you already know rather than try to talk with strangers.

    3     . Most people’s favorite topics are about themselves. Even if you don’t have an interesting icebreaker, you can always ask people to talk about themselves—they’ll be more than happy to oblige you. For example: ask what they do for a living, where they’re from, or what they studied in school.     4     . They’ll be excited to share their hobbies, and you might find that you have something in common!

Don’t be embarrassed if you’re visibly nervous. If your voice cracks or your handshake is sweaty, laugh it off. If you’re an amateur comedian and can make it into a joke, point it out and get people laughing with you. If it’s something that makes you feel less confident, just ignore it. Everyone gets nervous sometimes, so push past and continue on with the conversation.     5     .

2 . How to communicate effectively?

No matter your age or background, effective communication is a valuable skill. It’s also a skill that everyone can learn. Knowing how to communicate well comes in handy when it’s time for a heart-to-heart chat with a friend. Skillful communication can even turn a potential fight into a productive talk. The finest leaders have always been good communicators, whether in education, business or politics.    1    

Remove distraction.

Turn off the television, laptop and any other electronics that could distract from communication. If a call or text comes through on your cellphone when you are talking or listening to someone, turn it off without looking at it.    2     It can easily ruin your efforts to communicate.

    3    

Never try to be amusing at the expense of other people. Whether you mean to or not, disrespecting others will hurt the communication process. If you’re unsure if something is appropriate, you probably shouldn’t say it.

Communicate eye-to-eye.

Eye contact is the most important form of body language. It shows interest and helps convince people that you can be trusted. During a conversation, it is important to meet others’eyes, using just as much eye contact as feels natural.    4    Too much eye contact is seen as rude in certain cultures, and meeting eyes can cause some people who have autism to feel very uncomfortable.

Use “I” messages.

When raising concerns, try to start your sentences with “I” instead of “You”, stating clearly how you feel about the situation rather than blaming others. Instead of saying “You’re sloppy,” you might say, “I’m really uncomfortable surrounded by clutter like this. Is there something we can do to deal with it to keep it from being a problem?” “ I”messages improve the chances that listeners will consider your point of view.

Effective communication is a powerful tool that is useful in almost any situation.    5    

Living with other people can be difficult, especially when each person comes from a different background and has their own ideas about how they want to live. Though having a roommate can be challenging at times, it can also be enjoyable and fun.     1    

You can discuss your expectations ahead of time. Get together before or on the first day you move in together and talk about what each of you needs and wants from the other.     2     This applies to finances, food, clothes, possessions, use of common areas and so on.

You should agree to respect each other’s privacy. This is especially important.     3     For instance, you may not mind if your roommate comes into your room unannounced, but they might find you to be very rude for doing so. You should talk about these kinds of things so that you know what to expect from each other.

    4     Say hello and goodbye, ask them how their day was, and show interest in their life. Getting to know the person you live with helps you understand their perspective, and allows them to understand yours. It also makes it easier to deal with problems that you have with that person if you’ve already developed a harmonious relationship with them.

You can also be considerate of your roommate in your life. Understand what’s going on in your roommate’s life. You should aim to be flexible and accommodating. Your roommate may have a big test coming up.     5     If your roommate is busy and stressed with their job, give them some time and space to relax and unwind.

4 . Researchers set up an experiment in which 5-year-olds were tested with their fellows under different circumstances of transparency (透明) and different audiences. They set up a sticker machine that in some settings was transparent, and other settings in which only the giver of stickers knew how many stickers he could give. They had children give out stickers in both settings. The results were striking: children were consistently generous only when the receiver and audience of the stickers were fully aware of the donation options. Children were notably ungenerous when the receiver of stickers couldn’t see the options.

The researchers said, “Children only showed consistently pro-social behavior in our study in the condition when they could see the receiver and their allocations (分配物) were fully visible; in all other conditions, children were statistically ungenerous, giving the receiver the smaller amount of stickers.”

They made the conclusions that at a very early age, children are learning how to position themselves socially. Well before they apprehend the sociology of their networks and what social reputation really means, they think strategically about giving as a function of how they can gain a reputation with a peer as a generous citizen or pro-social agent when the receiver observes them.

Children change their behavior in response to having an audience. Help children give to others in full view, delivering meals to families, and in private, dropping off treats or surprises for those who need support without signing their names. Also, children should be reminded that thank-you notes are lovely but unnecessary to receive. When we give gifts or lend help to others, try to help children remember why—to provide something for another. It really doesn’t have to be recognized. When a thank-you card doesn’t come, it doesn’t make a gift any less valuable or meaningful for those who were lucky enough to receive.

5 . We’ve all been in a position where life gets busy, schedules are difficult to coordinate and connecting with friends feels harder than ever. With some friendships, we may lose touch and want to reconnect. However，the more time that passes, the more uncertain it can feel if they want to hear from us.

A recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology says it’s time to reach out. Researchers found numerous benefits when reaching out to friends and old acquaintances. Especially if you’re unsure of how well they’ll receive hearing from you. The study, led by Dr Peggy Liu, is called The Surprise of Reaching Out: Appreciated More Than We Think. In the study, researchers posed the question: Do people accurately understand how much other people value being reached out to by someone in their social circle? To answer this question, researchers carried out 13 experiments with more than 5,900 participants. In the experiments, researchers measured how much people estimated their friends or acquaintances would appreciate them reaching out versus how much those on the receiving end did appreciate it. They also examined different forms of communication-phone calls, texts, emails, notes or even small gifts—and their impact.

Over the series of experiments, experts discovered a similar trend: those reaching out significantly underestimated how much their friends would appreciate hearing from them. Plus, the more unexpected the communication was, the more the friend on the receiving end appreciated it. “People are fundamentally social beings and enjoy connecting with others,” the researchers wrote.

In fact, what made these moments of reaching out so impactful was the effort they showed—no matter the form of communication. Dr Amie Gordon, a social psychologist at the University of Michigan, emphasises the importance of small moments and making efforts in relationships in a Psychology Today article. “In a busy life, these little moments might feel just like that—little moments that don’t really matter ... But each moment we ignore is a missed opportunity to connect and build up an emotional bank of positive moments.”

The science is clear—people appreciate the effort we put into our friendships. And we greatly underestimate it. One phenomenon that may explain why those who reached out underestimated their positive impact is because of “the liking gap”. Psychologist Terri Apter writes in Psychology Today that the liking gap is a tendency to “how we often underestimate other’s responses to us”, and the reality that other people like us more than we may think.

8 . You can be hurt by other people in life. That is a fact. And some of those hurts can even leave scars that affect how you think, act and relate to others.    1    Withdraw into a shell, hide in a cave, and isolate(孤立) yourself from others. Definitely not. You can make a different choice to make painful circumstances direct you to a new path.

Remember you can’t please every single person especially a critical one.    2     Some are praying for rain, while others are praying for sunshine. You shouldn’t be replaying hurtful statements made to you. Additionally, it’s foolish to attempt what is impossible.

    3     We live in a society where we don’t get a whole lot of approval. It is not wise of you to do all sorts of crazy things trying to win a smile from some people too cold to ever give it. So refuse to play the game. Don’t waste any energy trying to convince unpleasable, disapproving people that you are a great person.    4    

Refuse to fight back. When we are hurt, the instant reaction is to fight back.     5     Instead, you can pray for the other person. It will help both of you. Be an actor, not a reactor.

It cannot be denied that dealing with other people effectively is one of the most important things you can learn in life. After you’ve mastered that you’re about 95 percent down the road to finding happiness.