1 . When going through major life changes, like changing careers, I would change the people with whom I spent the most time. We’ve all gone through periods when the people in our lives have changed — graduation, moving to a new city, getting a new job, joining a new club, etc. I don’t think I need to convince you just how much influence other people can have over your identity. If you’ve ever experienced a major switch in your people environment, then you know that you change as well.

Most people don’t make these choices consciously though. You might consciously decide to spend more time with a certain friend, or you may ask someone out on a date to begin a new relationship. But few people choose their existing friendships deliberately.

There’s no “getting rid of people”. People are always dropping into and out of each other’s lives. Associations grow into friendships, and friendships fade into associations. You don’t get rid of anyone. The truth is that in order to make room for new people and new experiences, you may need to loosen up some of your existing connections.

What about loyalty (忠诚)? Shouldn’t you always be loyal to your friends? Once you have a close friend, even if their influence on you is slightly harmful, shouldn’t you stick by them?

Loyalty to a friend sometimes means having to let go. It means being loyal to their highest and best as well. If someone is destroying his health by smoking, for example, you aren’t showing loyalty by smoking right along with him. True loyally sometimes requires that you break damaging connections, get yourself back on solid ground, and then decide what you can really do to help your friend.

It can take a lot of courage to tell someone, “I’m sorry, but I can’t have you in my life anymore.” But even though this might seem like a selfish act at times, it’s often the best thing for the other person too. If a relationship is holding you back in some way, understand that it is also hurting the other person. For example, if you work for a violent boss, your acceptance of that situation is considered to be silent approval, encouraging your boss to continue to behave violently.

2 . It is said that most people have not more than 30 friends at any given time, and 400 over the whole of their lives. However, on social networking sites, most users have about 150 friends. If these numbers are correct, then friendship means different things in different situations.

Also, there are no rules about friendship. There are no instructions about how to make friends, how to keep friendships going, and how to finish friendships if we want to move on. People have very different opinions about this: some people would die for their friends and they value them more than family. Others say that friends are temporary, only there to help each other until they are no longer needed. If people with such different views become friends, this can lead to problems.

Because of these different definitions of friendship, it is easy to be unhappy about our friendships. We may want them to be deeper or closer, or we may want to have more friends in our lives. Sometimes we simply do not have the time to develop our friendships, or we fear we have left it too late in life to start. If we move to another country or city, we have to find ways to make new friends again.

This dissatisfaction shows us how important friendships are for most of us. We should not think that it could be too late to build friendships. We also need to understand that the need to be around other people is one that is shared by many. Therefore, we should not be too frightened about starting to talk to people who in the future may become our friends: it is likely that they too would like to get closer to us. Remember what people say: strangers are friends we have not met yet.

5 . How do we take part in dinner party in foreign countries ? Have you ever experienced it ? I hated dinner parties. But I decided to give them another shot because I'm in London. And my friend Mallery invited me. And because dinner parties in London are very different from those back in New York. There, "I'm having a dinner party" means: " I'm booking a table for 12 at a restaurant you can't afford and we'll be sharing the cheque evenly, no matter what you eat." Worse, in Manhattan, there is always someone who leaves before the bill arrives. They'll throw down cash, half of what they owe, and then people like me, who don't drink, end up paying even more. But if I try to use the same trick, the hostess will shout: "Where are you going?" And it's not like I can say I have somewhere to go: everyone knows I have nowhere to go.

But in London, dinner parties are in people's homes. Not only that, the guests are an interesting mix. The last time I went to one, the guests were from France, India, Denmark and Nigeria; it was like a gathering at the United Nations. In New York, the mix is less striking. It's like a gathering at Bloomingdale's a well-known department store.

For New Yorkers, talking about other parts of the world means Brooklyn and Queens in New York. But at Mallery's, when I said that I had been to Myanmar recently, people knew where it was. In New York, people would think it was a usual new club.

7 . Traveling alone can be daunting. I have traveled by myself many times but, on every occasion, there was someone to meet me at the other end of the bus, train or plane journey. This time was different.

Last week I had a holiday from work, but none of my friends had the same week off. I decided that I still wanted to do something, so I booked a train ride to Toronto and reserved(预定) a bed in a hostel for one week.

One week by myself. Would I be lonely? Would I be bored? Quite the opposite. In fact, there are many benefits that come from traveling alone. Firstly, I was able to do whatever I wanted. I spent hours in museums that would have seemed boring and dull to some of my friends. I walked all around the city, which some people may have found too exhausting(令人疲惫的). Instead of relying on someone else to remember directions or to suggest activities to do, I discovered my independence and developed map-reading skills that I didn’t know I had. I could get up and go to sleep when I wanted and I didn’t have to wait for anyone else to shower and get ready every morning. Being in the safe environment of a hostel with like-minded travelers also gives a great opportunity to meet new people from all over the world, which can help combat loneliness.

In spite of the benefits, I found that there were also some disadvantages of traveling alone. I missed having someone to talk to and to bounce(探讨) ideas off. Experiences are often more enjoyable if they are shared, and part of the fun of traveling is the memories you have afterwards. Without a travel partner, I won’t be able to laugh about and remember my Toronto adventure with a friend of family member in years to come.

In addition, eating in a restaurant or cooking in the hostel was less fun on my own.

I am very proud of myself for traveling alone, and I had a fantastic time in Toronto. However, in the future, I think I will always prefer to travel with another person or in a small group. Though, maybe it depends on who you travel with—I would rather be by myself than with someone who is lazy, difficult and argumentative(好争论的).

10 . Rhemy Elsey, a fifth-grader, is deaf and mainly uses sign language to communicate, along with the _________ of an interpreter. Some of his fellow fifth-graders decided to _________ their break once a week to form an American Sign Language club in order to chat more _________with Rhemy.

It’s been a few months since the club was _________ and his classmates’ participation makes Rhemy _________. “It’s like they want to be like me” he said.

His interpreter, Tammy Arvin, _________ the club, which meets every Wednesday. So far, the club members have learned basic _________ in different topics including school, food and clothing. Arvin said that _________ the club’s formation, it was difficult for students to communicate directly with Rhemy. So when the other students expressed interest in an ASL club, Arvin was _________.

The club has already had an effect on the way the students ____________ with Rhemy. The ____________ can have more natural conversations which make Rhemy feel less isolated(孤立的). And the students are also ____________ a very important culture.

“It ____________ gives them a perspective on this other ____________ that they previously weren’t aware of, so they’re ____________ greatly just in terms of learning about diversity and having a broader perspective on the world around them,” Arvin said.