Well, those of you who often read my blog know that I've moved. I'm now living in Bangkok, since my parents got jobs here. We got here about a month ago and we've found a place to live, so we're starting to feel a bit more settled.

It's so different here from home. Well, that's unsurprising, of course! For one thing, there's so much traffic all the time, and for a country girl like me, who's used to peace, it isn't easy to deal with. Well, I guess I'll get used to it, but it might take a while! Just wish someone had told me ahead of time that it would take me an hour to get from home to school every day—and an hour to get back! But I've made a decision: I'm going to use my time travelling wisely — to learn to knit (纺织), perhaps, but mainly to learn Thai. Thai has a different writing system and very difficult pronunciation, but I'm going to put my mind to it and I hope I can make some progress. It's a good thing lots of signs are in the Latin alphabet too, otherwise (不然) I'd be completely lost! One of my friends told me to try to learn some Thai before coming here— if only I'd listened to him! It'd be quite a bit easier now I guess.

One of the truly wonderful things here is the food—you may remember that I've already written about how much I love Thai food. My favourite restaurant at home is Thai, so I'm used to all those spices (调料), and I love them. But here—wow, the flavours are out of this world.

Well, that's all for now. I'll write more soon!

【推荐2】Machines work well at a constant speed—and the faster the better. They are designed and built for it. Whether they are spinning cotton or dealing with numbers, regular, repetitive actions are what they excel at.

Increasingly, our world is being designed by machines, for machines. We adapt to machines and hold ourselves to their standards: People are judged by the speed with which they respond, not the quality of their response. Such ideas are being woven into our culture. “Always on” becomes something to boast of, or aspire to.

Most of us are busy most of the time, if not with work then with family, domestic tasks or our social networks—real and virtual. When I ask people how they are doing, they almost always answer “busy”. Ticking things off the “to do” list becomes a means of defining ourselves.

A few years ago, I became very interested in what it means to pause. I started to notice where pauses show up in my own work and life. For example, I realized that when I was writing, a short walk was a more effective way to break a creative block than concentrating harder.

I realized that a pause is not nothing. It acts as a kind of switch or opening. As Helene Simonsen, a classical musician, says, “Whatever you are doing, if you want something else to happen, you need to pause.” It is not a fixed unit of time. It might be taking a moment before you enter a room, but it could also be a “screen-free Saturday”, a “Think Week” every two years (which works for Bill Gates) or a year-long vacation. However fast you are moving, there is always the chance to pause—to rest, reflect or refresh of course, but also to appreciate, get perspective, connect to others, or have new ideas.

There is more to life than getting things done. Time, as we experience it, varies wildly. A minute eating ice-cream is not the same as a minute doing push-ups. Even time itself isn’t a uniform raw material—as the physics of Einstein shows. Try to let go of the idea that time is linear (直线型), regular and objective, and think of it in the same way we experience it. Instead of setting work and life against each other, use pauses to leaven (为增色) your experience. Pause is like yeast (酵母): you don’t need much, but it is a vital ingredient.

I want to give pauses more visibility, importance and status. My hope is that each of us can use pauses, great and small, to avoid sliding into a mode where we act like poorly performing machines.

【推荐3】Prince Diana was known for her habit many people today don’t pay attention to, but a new study shows you might want to reconsider.

While performing her royal duties as the Princess of Wales, Diana made time to write thank-you letters. In the book Diana: Her True Story, the author Andrew Morton wrote about Diana’s determination to send thank-you cards, noting that after her royal wedding to Prince Charles in 1981 she “sat down and answered many of the 47.000 letters of congratulation and 10,000 gifts which the wedding generated (产生) ” , with the help of extra staff.

It turned out that Diana understood the significance (意义) of a thank-you card much more than others do. According to a recent study, many people underestimate (低估) the value of a thank-you letter and how much happiness the recipient (接受者) will get from it.

The author of Modern Etiquette (礼仪) for a Better Life, notes that what stands out about a thank-you note compared with a text or email is the time that goes into the act. “It is a special touch,” she said. “It’s going above and beyond what is generally expected because it means that you’ve taken some extra step.”

If you’re now feeling like sending a thank-you card to someone for a gift, for a favor or simply for their time, we have a few suggestions. Jacqueline Whitmore, an etiquette expert says that you shouldn’t be discouraged if you are a bit delayed (延迟) in sending out a note of appreciation.

“A late thank-you note is better than none at all,” she said. Also, a tone that’s warm and friendly along with personal stationery (信纸) for more of a signature look should be included.

It won’t be from Kensington Palace, but it will still have an original touch.

【推荐1】Everyone’s different. We all have different parents, different upbringings and different values. However, we also need to be around and work with other people to function in society.     1    .

Active Listening

Although speaking is the first action that comes to mind when one hears the word “communication”, it’s actually just half of the equation. Equally important is listening. Rather than passively listening and just letting information flow at you, listen actively.     2    . When you do interrupt, do so at a pause and only to paraphrase(释义)to clarify what the person is saying.

Body Language

Keep your body open. Don’t cross your arms or legs, but keep both outstretched, indicating receptiveness.

Empathy(共鸣)and Personal Responsibility

Show empathy and take responsibility.     3    . One of the best ways to do the former is to use the paraphrasing strategy mentioned above. Taking responsibility relies on one word: “I” Never use “you” when discussing something negative.

    4    

You need to use enough words to get your point across. You also need to save time so that your point isn’t lost or muddled in a sea of unnecessary words. Clarity is so important in effectively communicating that it deserves its own section.

Comfort

    5    , don’t try to find out the cause of or a solution to the anger until he has calmed down. People usually just need to be heard out when they5re angry, so let them talk, only speaking to give comfort. A resolution can be pursued later.

【推荐2】Being a good person means more than just doing things for others. In order to truly be good, you will have to consider what ‘goodness’ means to you. Perhaps this means doing good for others, or simply being an honest and kind person.     1    

Determine what being a good person means to you personally. Some people think that being a good person is as simple as not doing harm to another. But it is not always about what you don’t do, but what you do for others.     2     You have to decide what you believe being a good person needs.

    3     Try to understand that some have something better than you, but many have something much worse. When we make ourselves miserable by comparing ourselves with others, we are wasting time and energy that we could use in building our own inner resources. Praise yourself every morning. Being happy makes you a more positive person, which helps you put those positive vibes out into the world.

Be yourself.     4     Don’t try to be like somebody else; just be yourself and do good things as simply as you can. Being yourself helps you be a genuine person who can reflect positivity into the world. Staying true to yourself helps you find focus and understand your core values and what you find important.

Love yourself. Learn to love yourself in every way. Practice unconditional self-acceptance. The only way you can truly love others is to first have confidence and love yourself. What you do and what you believe must make you feel good as well as others. If you try to do things for others without taking care of yourself, you can end up resentful (感到愤恨的), angry, and negative.     5    

【推荐2】And Alice said, “Curiouser and Curiouser!”

“Curiouser and curiouser!” this line from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in the Wonderland arouses the most interesting mix of mystery, exploration, discovery and fantasy of the new and unreal.

Curiosity can often be amusing in the real world: a baby monkey sliding off the branch as it curiously stretches out its hand towards a piece of red, juicy fruit.Then there is our own curious little cousin, intent on pushing a rock over and then equally excited by the worms crawling out.We can hear his cheerful claps — the curiosity effect! They are all set to explore and investigate what is around them.This childlike enthusiasm and interest in the world dribble away as they grow older and become more cautious.

Curiosity is one of our strongest instincts.We are born with it and follow its trail for a reason.It is to learn something we did not know, to understand something which is unusual, and to engage with something we have not come across before.The learning of the “new” sets us off on a path of discovery and innovation.Curiosity and exploration activates areas of the brain that are linked with learning and memory.An imaginative mind adds more neurons (神经元), which increases our brain power.The excitement of following our curiosity activates the chemical dopamine (多巴胺) in our brain.Dopamine? Think of it as the happy messenger that runs along the wiring of our brain like an excited cheerleader celebrating a victory! The labyrinths (迷宫) of our brain are complex and mysterious.We can get these neurons to buzz and crackle in tune with our imagination and exploration to aid in the development of a healthier brain.

Curiouser and curiouser, go follow the trail down the rabbit hole of exploration.The world awaits, and your brain will thank you for exercising its muscle!

【推荐3】When I mentioned to some friends that we all have accents, most of them proudly replied, “Well, I speak perfect English/Chinese/etc.” But this kind of misses the point.

More often than not, what we mean when we say someone “has an accent” is that their accent is different from the local one, or that pronunciations are different from our own. But this definition of accents is limiting and could give rise to prejudice. Funnily enough, in terms of the language study, every person speaks with an accent. It is the regular differences in how we produce sounds that define our accents. Even if you don’t hear it yourself, you speak with some sort of accent. In this sense, it’s pointless to point out that someone “has an accent”. We all do!

Every person speaks a dialect (方言), too. In the field of language study, a dialect is a version of a language that is characterized by its variations of structure, phrases and words. For instance,” You got eat or not? “(meaning “Have you eaten?” ) is an acceptable and understood question in Singapore Oral English. The fact that this expression would cause a standard American English speaker to take pause doesn’t mean that Singapore Oral English is “wrong” or “ungrammatical”. The sentence is well-formed and clearly communicative, according to native Singapore English speakers’ solid system of grammar. Why should it be wrong just because it’s different?

We need to move beyond a narrow conception of accents and dialects — for the benefit of everyone.

Language differences like these provide insights into people’s cultural experiences and backgrounds. In a global age, the way one speaks is a distinct part of one’s identity. Most people would be happy to talk about the cultures behind their speech. We’d learn more about the world we live in and make friends along the way.