1 . Recently we celebrated my grandmother’s 90th birthday. Family members traveled to my hometown to visit her. This was the first time in many years that I had seen so many of them. Though this was an opportunity to see family, many people did not make it. Honestly, living far from hometown, I had missed many family gatherings. But this one made me realize how much I was really missing.

It seemed strange when I was looking at the faces, realizing whom they were and greeting them with open arms. After chatting for a while, we caught up on each other’s news. Several relatives suggested having a family reunion soon if everyone wasn’t so busy. But my grandmother’s generation was much busier, yet still found time to gather. They understood the importance of visiting one another. They knew time is flying and that those you care about most won’t be here forever.

Today, we focus on our careers and raising our kids. Our extended family isn’t the center it once was. Besides, we keep in touch on social media. But what we really miss are the potato salad, the moments of laughter and sudden bursts of excitement when we hug someone we haven’t seen for over 10 years. Although the next get-together is always a year or so away, people aren’t goods and everyone has an expiration (到期) date.

I left my grandmother’s party with a much better sense of who I am and where I come from. I spent valuable time with people who contributed to who I am today. I had forgotten how much I love them and I was reminded how much I am loved.

2 . Ellen Parker was worried about her health. She could not walk very quickly and it was difficult for her to climb stairs. She was soon out of breath. “I suppose I had better go to the doctor,” she thought. She went to the doctor and told him her problem.

“I’m not at all surprised, ” he said. “It’s clear what your problem is.”

He examined her and then gave her some advice.

“If you don’t do what I say, Mrs. Parker,” he said, “you will have a heart attack. It could kill you.” Ellen was very worried as she left the doctor’s. She knew that she had to take his advice but that it would not be easy and it would take time.

The next day she went shopping. The first shop she went into was a butcher’s shop (肉铺).

“I’d like ten pounds of steak (牛排), please,” she said.

“Certainly, madam,” the butcher replied and went into the cold room and found a large piece of steak. He brought the huge piece of meat back into the shop and placed it on the scale (秤).

“That’s just under ten pounds,” he said.

“That’s big enough,” Mrs. Parker said.

The butcher worked out the price. “At ＄4. 99 a pound. That will be ＄49.50, please. Would you like me to cut it up into smaller pieces for you?”

“Oh, I don’t want to buy the meat,” Mrs. Parker said.

“If you don’t want to buy it,” the butcher replied angrily, “why did you ask me to get it for you?”

“My doctor told me that I am overweight and have to lose ten pounds. I wanted to see what ten pounds of flesh looked like.”

3 . Failure is an unavoidable part of life. Though science has named some life skills that promise success, we’re told over and over again that no great success was ever achieved without failure—or many failed attempts. One of life’s most important lessons, therefore, has to be how to handle failure best. But what is the message?

For starters, ignore advice from anyone that tells you, “Don’t beat yourself up about it, ” no matter how well-meaning they are. According to the new research from the University of Kansas, we absolutely should be beating ourselves up when we fail. Marketing professor Noelle Nelson and her team found that the more emotional a person’s response is to failure, the more likely they are to achieve better results the next time they deal with a related task.

The researchers carried out two experiments in which undergraduate students were required to perform specific tasks. In one experiment, they were asked to search online for a squeezer and report the lowest price they could find with the possibility of winning a $50 cash prize. However, the task was controlled, and all participants were told (by a computer) that the lowest price was $3.27 less than their reported price. Consequently, no participant won the cash prize. When the results were announced,   some participants were asked to focus on their emotional response,   and others on their cognitive (认知的) response. During the next similar task, participants who focused on their emotional response to failure made more effort than those who focused on a cognitive response.

Everybody has their own unique challenges, responsibilities, duties, and projects, but these findings are related to all of us. Your personal failure may be a cake that fails to rise, a presentation that goes wrong, or a deadline that gets missed—it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you react to it. Instead of thinking about the failure, let yourself feel bad about it. Then follow this advice on how to bounce back after your failure.

5 . A broken heart. A sad ending to a love affair. That’s something most of us have experienced, or probably will. After all, it’s part of human life. But no question, the experience can be hard to get over.

But research shows there are pathways through the heartache. Listening to sad music is a major one. It can help you begin to feel joy and hopefulness about your life again. It can arouse (激发，唤醒) the desire (渴望) to connect with others.

Sad music can help heal and uplift you from your broken heart. A recent study from Germany found the emotional influence of listening to sad music is an arousal of feelings of empathy (共情), and a desire for positive connection with others. That, itself, is psychologically healing. It draws you away from concentration on yourself, and possibly towards helping others in need of comfort.

Another experiment, from the University of Kent, found that when people were experiencing sadness, listening to music that was “beautiful but sad” improved their mood. In fact, it did so when the person first consciously accept the situation causing their sadness, and then began listening to the sad music. That is, when they intended that the sad music might help, they found that it did.

These findings link with other studies that show accepting your sad situation emotionally leads to healing and growth beyond it. It seems unbelievable but it does make sense. For example, research from Cornell University, published in Psychological Science, found that accepting discomfort about a life experience or new situation, and viewing it as a step towards growth and change, encourages people to find a pathway through it, beyond it. As Churchill famously said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” That discomfort points you towards creating a plan, a new action. It fuels hope.

8 . “This world is so unfair!” my daughter shouted as soon as she entered the door. It turned out that she was caught talking with others while having a math class. And finally she was punished by the teacher. “There were other students talking in class, but the teacher only punished me,” she said angrily.

I asked her, “Should you be punished for speaking when your teacher is in class?” She nodded but also defended, “It is unfair for me because the teacher didn’t punish the other students who spoke!” “Let’s just talk about you. Was the teacher wrong to punish you?” I asked again. She lowered her head and said, “No.”

“That’s fair!” I said. “You know what the price of speaking in class is. You did it and got the punishment you deserved (应得). The teacher didn’t punish others because she could choose to forgive (原谅). From your point of view, it seems unfair, but for those students she has forgiven, there’s no unfairness. It depends on from which angle (角度) you look at the thing.”

People are often like this. When they look at themselves, they are very clear about what they are doing, knowing what their prizes and punishments should be, but they think differently after looking at others. Because comparison with others makes people confused and even becomes a stumbling block (绊脚石) in their life. The most important thing is to understand fairness in a deeper way, not from your point of view only!

10 . “Do I really want to go through with this?” Have you ever asked yourself that question? Sometimes in life, there are moments when you ______ if you will be able to handle the responsibilities ahead of you.

For me, these ____ come daily, whether it’s taking a test or working. But one Saturday afternoon, my family and I were _____around when my dad pulled into a small mall. Little did I realize we were going to a______ store where a new member would be ______ to our family.

As my dad parked our car, I figured we would just take a ______ look and then leave. After a while, my dad called us over. He was standing next to my mom, looking at several cats.

I began to think, “Are we ______ a cat?”

My dad asked, “ So guys, you like any of these?”

My brother said “Yes!” before I could open my _______.

When I pictured feeding the cat, cleaning it and giving it water, all of these responsibility felt ______to me. Would I be able to handle it? After all, I would have to live a more adult-like ______ if I got a cat.

Later on, after ______ that we should get a cat, I thought about this new phase of my life. I realized that the _______ I make can affect my future.

Looking back, I find that I have been able to _____ the responsibility of owning a cat. Some tasks may be ______ , but that doesn’t mean they can’t be accomplished. You ____ need to do your best in order to push past them.