2 . Self-criticism (自我批评) is a mental habit of negatively analyzing and judging ourselves and our actions. If we don’t find a way to overcome self-criticism, we won’t be able to live a happy and satisfying life.     1    .

Thought stopping is one of the best secrets of how to overcome self-criticism. Interrupting your thoughts helps you change how you think about yourself, thus helping you feel better.     2    . However, with enough practice, you will make it.

Another strategy is to replace negative self-critical thoughts with positive realistic statements. For instance, if you set a goal, be realistic about it by giving yourself enough time to achieve it. In fact, having a constant desire to achieve immediate success can ruin your confidence.

Another secret is to let go of the need to be perfect. It’s all right to set high standards for yourself.     4    . In addition, desiring to be perfect in everything you pursue can prevent your progress.

    5    . However, it’s important to note that comparing yourself to your peers, friends, or family can increase dissatisfaction and unhappiness. That said, the best tip on how to overcome self-criticism is to practice self-acceptance.

Jack was a bright and curious child, always eager to learn new things and explore the mysterious world about science. However, he often found himself in disagreement with his mother. His mother was always busy with her work and she didn’t have enough time to learn about his interests and passions.

One day, Jack came home from school feeling particularly excited. He just found a sci-fi book about an adventure on the moon. Upon arriving at home, he couldn’t tear himself away from the book. He read and read until it was dark. Having finished reading it, he couldn’t wait to share it with his mother, only to be told that he should focus on more practical subjects like math and history, which would help him get into a good college and have a successful career.

Jack couldn’t understand why his mother didn’t see the value in what he was doing. He felt that she was holding him back and not allowing him to pursue his true interests. “Why can’t you see how important this is to me?” Jack asked his mother angrily. “I’m never going to be happy if I have to spend my life doing things that I show no interest in just because they are practical or make you proud.”

The once peaceful home was filled with tension and anger. His mother’s voice grew louder as she shouted, “You can’t just do whatever you want! You should be responsible for your future!” Jack, fueled by his own frustration, shot back, “I am tired of you always telling me what to do! I am not a child anymore! You only care about your own feeling! You never thought about my feeling!” They were so caught up in their own anger and hurt that they failed to see how their words and actions were affecting each other.

Jack rushed into his bedroom and locked the door heavily.

When Jack heard his mother’s words, regretful tears rolled down his face.

5 . As bad as it feels, anxiety is essential. It’s awful, but imagine not having it? Imagine the state of our lives and relationships if we don’t have that little feeling inside us going, “Ah, don’t go there. Don’t do that.”     1     But when anxiety hits, it’s hard to remember its importance. Here are some interventions to help dial down your stress for those moments.

Name things that make you feel safe

If you’re feeling anxious, ask yourself, “What are some things that help me feel safer?”    2     A lot of people will find that being surrounded by familiar people or things is comforting. Once you have your list of people or activities that make you feel sale, pick one off the list and do it.

    3    

Try naming five things you can hear, taste, touch, smell or feel. You can also try washing your face with cold water. Smelling something strong can help too. These strategies help activate the parasympathetic nervous system (副交感神经系统),which can allow the body to relax.    4    

Acknowledge your physical sensations

Naming how you feel physically when anxious can help dial down the intensity. For example, let’s say you feel anxiety in your stomach.    5    Then, pick a part of your body that is not in active pain. Next, alternate attention between the place in your body where you feel pain and the place where you do not feel pain. This mindfulness technique can help you tolerate or even reduce your pain.

6 . In 1980, Dad was diagnosed(诊断) with a serious disease. The disease _________ his memory and expression. Dad couldn’t think or process information as fast as he _________ to. He grew to repeat the same words, which drove Mom _________. On one of my visits home, Dad was sitting in his deck chair. I reached down to _________ and kiss him. “What’s new? How are you?”

“Oh, you know, dear, the same. They treat me like a mushroom around here. They keep me in the dark.” He laughed, proud of his _________.

As I walked through the kitchen, I stopped to hug Mom. She _________ her head. “I heard your dad and those words! It’s not his will. He just can’t _________ himself.” She stopped for a while before _________. “He always says he’s just like a mushroom…” She took a _________ breath and laughed. “Goodness,” she said, “I’m going to be __________ the adversity(困境) for a long time.”

__________, Dad never became difficult, or had personality changes. I often felt grateful for that. Dad loved and __________ everything Mom ever did for him as well, no matter how big or small.

Care-giving comes at a __________. Mom was annoyed with Dad, but there was lots of love between them. Through the 21 years of care giving for Dad, there was __________ and tears, as well as weddings and babies. Without __________, I’m not sure what would have happened to us.

8 . There are countless articles online that will give you advice on how to deal with homesickness. Here are some of my favorite tips that have helped me.

    1    

Learn to cook with your friends or find new places to eat. Eating with friends makes things so much better. It’s a way to bond and an excuse to get closer. You even get rewarded for it.

Call home—but not every minute of every day.

I saw so many online sources express it in this way, “Talk to your parents—but not too much. Call home—but not too often.”     2     However, it’s a problem when you’re talking to them so much that it’s stopping you from having real experiences in this new place.

Explore.

    3     It took me a while to do this because I focused so much on my studies, but it’s really important. To me, being homesick was a sign that I needed to organize my time better. So I could take a break and go for a walk.

Find a way to deal with your emotions.

I got a guitar during my sophomore (大学二年级) year of university because that’s what I like doing when I’m by myself. I keep a journal because it makes me feel better and productive if I need time by myself but I don’t want to feel lonely.

An outlet(发泄方式) for your emotions can take any shape or form. Whatever it is, it’s important that you find a way to deal with your emotions. Don’t avoid them, but try to understand them.     4     If you focus too much on the negatives, you might forget to see the positives.

Talk to someone.

There is nothing wrong with finding someone to talk to about how you’re feeling.     5     Or it may mean talking to a counselor(顾问) if that’s what you think you need.

There is nothing wrong with being homesick. It’s normal. It’s part of the experience. We all feel things differently, but everything you learn while you are abroad will help you grow.