1 . The driver who cuts you off in traffic. The neighbors who don’t pick up after their dog. Situations such as these get our hearts racing and send our stress levels skyrocketing. Anger isn’t a pleasant feeling. Some of us bottle up the feeling, while others explode in a wild rage (狂怒). Both habits do considerable harm to our bodies, our minds, and our relationships.

“Anger may feel uncomfortable and a lot of people think they have to get rid of their anger,” says Patrick Keelan, a registered psychologist in Calgary, Alberta. “But anger is an emotion built into us to signal that something needs to be addressed. When we take notice of that signal and actually wrestle with the problem instead of turning a blind eye to it, we’re usually much better for it.”

Unfortunately, many of us have been conditioned to keep our emotions hidden. Increasingly, research is suggesting that this can have long-term effects on our health. Investigators at the University of Rochester noticed that people who contain their emotions tend to live shorter lives.

Is it better, then, to scream and howl whenever something makes you mad? That’s probably the reason why “rage rooms” have popped up in many American cities, where folks are invited to let steam off by violently smashing (打碎) stuff in a “safe” environment. However, the research indicates that when people display anger aggressively, it can actually increase the intensity of the anger — and increase the likelihood of aggressive actions in the future. It doesn’t take much imagination to predict how such behavior can affect your relationship with your spouse, your kids, or your colleagues. It also hurts your health. A large 2016 study at McMaster University found that people are more than twice as likely to have a heart attack after an angry explosion.

If we shouldn’t bottle up our angry feelings but aggressive behavior isn’t healthy either, how should we handle things that tick us of? It’s the extreme highs and lows that cause the damage. If you’re able to apply techniques that smooth out some of those peaks and valleys, you can have a gentler ride.

2 . It is important to have positive feelings in our daily life.

“Compared _______ some unhappy people, those who are always pleased and relaxed are less likely to suffer from colds,” _______ a new study. The researchers from New York University said, “being happy helps the body _______ diseases.”

“It seems that positive feelings may reduce the _______ of illness,” said the chief researcher Sheldon Cohen.

In an earlier study Cohen found that people who were _______ caught colds less often. And they seldom told their doctors that they felt _______.

In this study, Cohen’s team _______ 193 adults every day for two weeks. In this period, the people told researchers about their happy or sad _______ that day. Two weeks later, all of them were made to catch colds by doctors, and they had to stay _______ in a room for six days.

The results ________ that each in the study was equal to fall ill. ________, people who were lively and relaxed said they felt happy during the research. Their illnesses were less serious and lasted for a ________ time.

Cohen believes that ________ people have positive feelings, their body may produce a kind of chemical that helps to ________ illnesses. So if you ________ your health, please look on the bright side and make yourself happy all the time.

5 . Think about the last time you felt a negative emotion — like stress, anger, or frustration.     1     Was your mind cluttered (凌乱) with thoughts? Or was it paralyzed, unable to think?

The next time you find yourself in the middle of a very stressful time, or you feel angry or frustrated, stop. Whatever you’re doing, stop and sit for one minute.     2     Take the entire minute to do nothing else but feel that emotion.

If you feel you need to hold on to the emotion for a little longer, that is OK.     3     When you feel you’ve had enough of the emotion, ask yourself if you’re willing to carry that negativity with you for the rest of the day. If not, take a deep breath. As you do that, release all that negativity with your breath.

This exercise seems simple — almost too simple.     4     By allowing that negative emotion the space to be truly felt, you are dealing with the emotion rather than stuffing it down and trying not to feel it.     5     When you lose yourself in the emotion, and realize that it is only emotion, it loses its control. You can clear your head and proceed with your task. Try it. Next time you’re in the middle of a negative emotion, give yourself the space to feel the emotion and see what happens.

Remember to take the time you need to really immerse yourself in the emotion. Then, when you feel you’ve felt it enough, release it — really let go of it. You will be surprised at how quickly you can move on from a negative situation and get to what you really want to do!

6 . How to calm your teen

A major source of teen stress is school exams, and test anxiety is not uncommon. When you recognize your teen is under stress, how can you help your teen stay calm before an exam?

Be involved. Parents need to be involved in their teen’s study.     1     What he looks for is your presence — to talk, to cry, or simply to sit with him quietly. Communicate openly with your teen. Encourage your teen to express his worries and fears, but don’t let him focus on those fears.

Help him get organized.     2     Together, you and your teen can work out a timetable in which he can study for what he knows will be on the test.

Provide a calm setting. Help your teen set up a quiet place to study and protect his privacy.

Give him a nutritious diet. It’s important for your teen to eat a healthy, balanced diet during exam time to focus and do his best.     3     If this happens, encourage your teen to eat light meals or sandwiches. A healthy diet, rather than junk food, is best for reducing stress.

    4     Persuade your teen to get some sleep or do something active when he needs a real break from studying. Making time for relaxation, fun, and exercise is important in reducing stress. Help your teen balance his time so that he will feel comfortable taking time out from studying to spend time with friends or rest.

Show a positive attitude.     5     Your panic, anxiety and blame contribute to your teen’s pressure. Make your teen feel accepted and valued for his efforts. Most importantly, reassure (使安心) your teen that things will be all right, no matter what the results are.

7 . The Spotlight Effect

Have you ever felt as if the entire world was watching while you made a mistake? Well, here’s some good news: it’s likely that no one even noticed.

    1    We have this experience not only when we make mistakes but also when we perform well. Every time we do something that is a little different from what we usually do, we may assume that everyone around us will notice. The spotlight effect might happen when we make a mistake in a game, have a bad hair day, or give a terrible answer in class.    2    In these moments, it feels like everyone is watching.

The spotlight effect exists because we all get used to seeing things through our own eyes. Every person is the main character in his or her story, and the events of our lives seem to have great importance.    3    

The spotlight effect is a very common part of the human experience. However, in some cases, it can lead to extreme social anxiety and nervousness around other people. Everyone suffers some degree of social anxiety. We all care about what others think, and we all want to be liked. It’s normal to wonder about what effect we have on other people.    4    If someone is so nervous that they can’t make good decisions, then it’s time to take action and improve the situation.

Learning about the spotlight effect is important because it can help us reduce our anxiety. Next time you feel like everyone is staring at you, remind yourself that it’s just your mind playing tricks on you.     5    If you fill your mind with thoughts of your friends and family, it will help you be less self-conscious.

9 . A Love Note to My Mum

When I was a little girl, you always modelled for fashion photographers. It was years later that I finally understood the role that modelling plays in your life. Little did I know you were saving every penny you made to go to law school.

I cannot thank you enough for what you told me one autumn afternoon when I was nine. After finishing my homework, I went into the dining room where you were focusing on reading law books. I was confused. Why were you doing what I do – memorising textbooks and studying for tests? When you said you were in law school, I was even more surprised. I didn’t know mums could be lawyers, too. You smiled and said, “In life, you can do anything you want to do.”

As young as I was, those words kept ringing in my ears. I watched as you faced the challenges of completing your studies, starting companies with Dad, while still being a model and a mum of five kids. You never complained and gave up. With your words of wisdom in my mind, I suddenly felt the freedom to dream. My whole world opened up. I set out to live my life filled with hope, seeing endless possibilities for personal and professional success. 

Your words became my motto (座右铭). As I grew up, I always found myself in the unique position of being either the first or one of the few women (chief medical reporters) in my field. I gained power every time I said, “Yes, I’ll try that.”

Encouraged by your words, I have forged ahead (毅然前行) with my life’s journey, less afraid to make mistakes or to meet challenges. You did it, and now I’m doing it. Sorry, I have got to run. So much to do, so many dreams to realise.

How is everything going?

Looking forward to your earliest reply.

Best wishes!

Yours truly,

Li Hua