1 . Your neighbors are probably the first line of defense in case of any problematic situation.     1     It gives you an assurance that you have people close by looking out for you. Here are easily applicable tips on creating stronger neighbor relationships.

The first step is introducing yourself when you move to a new neighborhood or when a newcomer moves in. Leave them a note under their door to introduce yourself.     2     It doesn’t have to cost you a fortune and opting for a potted plant or baked biscuits will do. These actions present excellent opportunities to connect with them.

Be respectful of your neighbors. It’s in poor taste to have regular insensitive parties at your place causing disturbances. Before your party, it’s good practice to notify your neighbors. Besides, avoid chatting them up for hours on end, which may be inconvenient, especially if you don’t know their schedules.     3     When you borrow anything, return it in due time. If you accidentally break their things, replace them without being asked to.

    4     You could offer to babysit your neighbors’ kids, help with snow removals or even keep an eye on their home when they’re away. Such acts of reaching out to your neighbors make for stronger relationships.

As Emma Seppälä put it, “social connectedness generates a positive feedback loop (圈) of social, emotional and physical well-being.” It feels so easy to just stay home without having to engage with your neighbors but connecting with them is worth the effort.     5    

3 . No matter what profession or occupation you hold you will need to work with others to meet your goals. Group work is a great way to showcase your own skills while getting help from your teammates in areas where you might not be as strong.     1    

Clarify the team expectations so everyone is on the same page.     2     It’s likely that each teammate has a different idea about what’s expected of them, as well as what everyone else needs to be doing. It’s essential that the team discuss these expectations and agree on one universal list of expectations that everyone will follow.

    3     No one likes a teammate who barely contributes to the project. Take on an equal part of the work, and speak up if you realize you aren’t doing your fair share. Not only will your group mates appreciate your work ethic, it will show your supervisor or instructor that you’re a good team player.

Direct your concern toward the problem, not your teammates. Don’t accuse or blame anyone on your team for causing the conflict, even if you believe they did.     4     Have your team work through conflict, using it to their benefit.

Focus on the success of the group, not your personal success. When you’re on a team, everyone’s success depends on each member working toward a common goal.     5     Keep your focus on your team’s success, and your own success will follow.

4 . Perhaps you know two people would get on well—if only they would speak to each other. Your shy friends aren’t intentionally avoiding one another; it is just not in their nature to strike up a conversation. You can help things along by greasing (润滑) the wheels of social interaction.     1     In fact, they might both be grateful that you helped them get past the initial awkwardness.

Make Introductions

The first step to getting two shy people to talk to one another is to offer an introduction.     2     If you see two shy people sitting together but not talking, walk over and offer an ice breaker. A brief introduction with a piece of information that ties the two shy people together will be most helpful.

Ease Anxiety

    3     As they talk, an inner thought tells them that they are not good enough, smart enough or funny enough. They think that everyone else is judging them and that they never measure up. You may be able to help two shy people overcome this social hurdle by building their social confidence and belief that they are mutually (相互地) liked.

Find Mutual Interests

Give your shy friends a reason to talk. Figure out what they have in common and let them know about it. For example, if Josh and David are both into watching the UFC, make an introduction and a comment about the latest fight.     4     But once the two shy people are absorbed in their favorite topic, you can quietly slip away.

Get Active

Shy people have trouble living in the moment. They tend to think about past weaknesses or worry about future social obstacles rather than focus on the current situation. Put your shy friends in a situation that forces them to stop thinking so much and have a little fun. Ideally, your shy acquaintances should have to work together to overcome an obstacle—similar to what happens at company party.     5    

5 . Do you know that you can instantly change your state of mind just by smiling? Science has shown that when we produce a smile, our brain releases feel-good hormones (荷尔蒙) that reduce stress. You’ve already experienced the effects of smiling and laughing with friends and family — it’s an instant, free and joyful action.     1    

In a study, scientists Tara Kraft and Sarah Pressman studied 170 participants who were taught to hold chopsticks in their mouths in three different ways, making them smile to various degrees, while performing a stressful task. The experiment revealed that subjects whose facial muscles were forced into the biggest smiles, due to the chopsticks, experienced a substantial reduction in their heart rate along with quicker stress recovery.

Have you ever smiled at someone and not received a smile back? It may have happened a handful of times, but it’s usually the exception, not the rule.     2    

If you were waiting in line for a coffee and you could choose between a smiling server and one with a neutral expression on their face, who would you pick to take your order?     3     For me, compared to someone who is displaying a neutral or bad expression, a smiling person is going to seem more trustworthy.

    4     My sincere intention is to give you a deeper understanding of the mind-body connection, and access to simple tools to make a positive change in your life.

Whenever you find yourself in a stressful situation, be sure to smile.     5    

6 . Criticism is harmful to healthy relationships.     1     First, work on changing your own behavior. Then, find effective ways to communicate if someone bothers you.

Changing Your Behavior

●Think before you speak.     2     Sometimes, it’s best to let small indiscretions (轻率的行为) go. Try taking a few deep breaths and leaving the room instead of criticizing.

●Separate the individual from their actions. If you work on separating the person from the action, you may naturally want to criticize less. As you realize you cannot judge a person’s character based on a single choice or decision, you will be unable to call someone out for being rude or disrespectful.

●Focus on positives. Oftentimes, being critical results from how you’re choosing to see a situation. Everyone has shortcomings. However, the vast majority of people have good qualities that outweigh bad ones.     3    

Communicating More Effectively

●    4     Some people have issues that may need addressing. However, feedback is very different from criticism. When addressing an issue, focus on suggestions you can make to help another person improve, which is more effective than criticizing.

●Ask for what you want directly. Inefficient communication often results in heavy criticism.     5     Make sure to ask for what you want in a direct, respectful manner. This will eliminate (消除) the need for criticism.

●Consider the other party’s perspective. If you criticize others too often, you may be shutting out the other person’s point of view. Try to step in another person’s shoes before criticizing and you may get some new and special ideas.

9 . Are you patient? Do you have attention to detail, free time and access to a computer? Well, then a scientist might welcome your help. Researchers in the UK say it’s becoming important to count on common people to help them with their projects. They need people to examine data and submit their observations online.

British teenagers Sasha and Matthew are taking part in a study of penguins (企鹅) from the comfort of their homes. The pair look at pictures and tag (加标签于) photos identifying adults, chicks and eggs. Every click of their mouse is helping to build up a detailed picture of penguin colonies (群). They, and thousands of others, are helping scientists to understand why some colonies are growing and others are decreasing. Within the first four hours of Penguin Watch going live, “citizen scientists” marked more images than the research team did in five years.

Dr. Tom Hart, Penguin Watch Coordinator at Oxford University, says, “When you go beyond what a scientist can analyse to what a mass audience can do, then it increases beyond what any other project could do.”

The British Science Association says families are helping out with careful research. It made a difference to the Planet Hunters Project, which ran for five years. Volunteers looked at dots which showed how the brightness of a star changed at different points in its solar system.

According to Dr. Robert Simpson from Oxford University, who took part in the project, the volunteers discovered planets and these are now in published papers. He says with pride, “We can go and look at these planets with other telescopes and we know they exist because of those helpers.”

But how do scientists guard their research against accidental or deliberate mistakes in observation? Dr. Simpson isn’t worried. “We get lots of people looking at the same things, ”he says. The researcher warns that people who are mistakenly clicking on the site are very obvious and can be identified very quickly. So, there’s no fooling the scientists.

And to make sure things go well, the Penguin Watch paper will go through a peer review before being published. After that, every “citizen scientist” will be credited.