4 . Lying to friends and family members may seem like a way to lose their trust.     1    Researchers found that lying for the right reasons can actually strengthen some social bonds (联系).

    2     That depends on the situation. Lying to cover up a misdeed (不端行为), known as anti-social lying, isn’t likely to improve your relationships.     3     On the other hand, lies told to help another person are good for relationships. It is commonly known as telling a white lie.

To study how these two types of lies affect relationships within social groups, researchers created a hypothetical (假定的) mathematical model. The model showed that individuals who tell anti-social lies become isolated (孤立的) within their social networks sometimes.     4     In fact, these individuals are likely to form strong links with other individuals within their social networks.

While the researchers created a hypothetical model, it could be used to understand how lying affects groups of friends in the real world.     5    

5 . We’re directly affected by our environment. When the rising temperature or the bitter cold is the first thing on your mind, it might be hard to discuss anything else. However, as a matter of fact, you needn’t have worried so much about this.     1     However, there are ways to change the activity into a meaningful moment between two people.

1.     2    

Talking about shared interests is the easiest way to make a connection with someone-and more personal talking about the weather. When you start a conversation with someone, try searching for pieces of information that you can connect to.

2. Don’t ask someone what they do.

When speaking with someone for the first time, work is always one of our topics. But wanting to know what someone does for a living may kill our conversations.     3     When it comes to small talk, try avoiding jobs and discovering general interests instead.

3. Enjoy the silence.

No one likes a long stop-but most silent moments between topics aren’t as long as you think they are.     4     Sometimes stops are needed in order to continue a conversation. Remember that if you say something, the other person may need to think about it, so enjoy the silence.

4. Look at your conversation as a learning experience.

Different people have different thoughts, ideas and feelings. Ask someone about a topic they’ re familiar with that you know nothing about. Every time you meet someone new — or even speak with someone you know — it’s an opportunity to learn something.     5     You can expand your knowledge of other areas, cultures and nations.

6 . Apologizing for a mistake might seem difficult, but it will help you repair and improve your relationships with others after that offense (冒犯).

Acknowledge the offense. This is an essential element of a good apology.     1    Apologies are most likely to be well-received if you show that you recognize who was responsible and who was harmed. For example, saying “I made a mistake” is more effective than saying“mistakes were made”, which fails to clarify responsibility.

    2    In some cases, it’s helpful to explain an offense, especially to explain that it was not intentional and that it will not happen again. But explanations that are long-winded, sound like excuses, or blame the victim (e. g. You were really getting on my nerves.) tend to have an opposite effect.

Express regret.    3     Expressing these feelings communicates that you recognize and regret the suffering you caused. Be careful of phrases like “That was uncharacteristic of me.”     4     Instead, acknowledge your disappointment in yourself and your commitment to improve.

Tell them how you’ll change. Let them know how you’ll change and what you’d do to make that possible. For instance, if you’ve been late once again, instead of just apologizing, share how you’d keep an early alarm to be on time!     5    

7 . Researchers set up an experiment in which 5-year-olds were tested with their fellows under different circumstances of transparency (透明) and different audiences. They set up a sticker machine that in some settings was transparent, and other settings in which only the giver of stickers knew how many stickers he could give. They had children give out stickers in both settings. The results were striking: children were consistently generous only when the receiver and audience of the stickers were fully aware of the donation options. Children were notably ungenerous when the receiver of stickers couldn’t see the options.

The researchers said, “Children only showed consistently pro-social behavior in our study in the condition when they could see the receiver and their allocations (分配物) were fully visible; in all other conditions, children were statistically ungenerous, giving the receiver the smaller amount of stickers.”

They made the conclusions that at a very early age, children are learning how to position themselves socially. Well before they apprehend the sociology of their networks and what social reputation really means, they think strategically about giving as a function of how they can gain a reputation with a peer as a generous citizen or pro-social agent when the receiver observes them.

Children change their behavior in response to having an audience. Help children give to others in full view, delivering meals to families, and in private, dropping off treats or surprises for those who need support without signing their names. Also, children should be reminded that thank-you notes are lovely but unnecessary to receive. When we give gifts or lend help to others, try to help children remember why—to provide something for another. It really doesn’t have to be recognized. When a thank-you card doesn’t come, it doesn’t make a gift any less valuable or meaningful for those who were lucky enough to receive.

8 . Having a good sense of humor makes you more enjoyable to be around.     1     . Here’s how you can develop your sense of humor.

●Surround Yourself with Humor

You learn more effectively when you fully expose yourself to a subject. Similarly, you can improve your sense of humor by surrounding yourself with humor. Watch stand-up comedians. Listen to programs that amuse you.Read humorous books.     2     .

●Learn What Amuses You

    3     . We amuse our friends by praising a change they made. However, when it comes to being funny, don’t change your sense of humor to amuse other people. Instead, start with what amuses you.Then, if you think the other person will also be amused with it, share it with them.

●Think About Timing and Audience

You don’t have to be funny all the time, so don’t expect that of yourself. When you catch yourself trying to be funny, slow down. Simply speak slower so you’re not as likely to stop and repeat yourself. Try speaking at 60-70 % of your usual rate.     4     .

●    5    

You don’t need to seize every single opportunity to be funny. If you’re in the middle of a bad joke, just end it. “You know what, now that I’m telling it, it’s not as funny as it sounded in my head,” can be a bit of an awkward end and hurt your pride a little bit, but it saves everyone time and patience. In the long run, they’ll respect your taste.

10 . Your math teacher wears clothes made in 1985 and always mispronounces your name. Your English teacher loves to start classes with quick quizzes. It can be hard to think of these givers of grades as real people. But they eat pizza, watch movies and enjoy sports on weekends, just like you. So how can you get along well with your teachers?

You can do a lot of things to develop a good relationship with your teacher. First, do the obvious things: Show up in class on time with all tasks completed. Stay focused, be respectful and ask questions. Second, show an interest in the subject. Obviously, your teachers are really interested in their subjects, or they wouldn’t have decided to teach them! Show the teacher that you care about the subject—even if you’re not a math talent or fluent in French—and send the message that you are a hard-working student.

You can also schedule a private meeting in a teacher’s free time. Use this time to get extra help, ask questions, ask for information about a career (职业) in the subject or talk about your progress in class. You may be surprised to learn that your teacher is a bit more relaxed when only facing you than when teaching in front of the whole class.

What if you just don’t like the teacher? When it comes to working with teachers, one’s characteristics can come into play just as they can in any other relationships. People just naturally get along better with some people than with others; it’s impossible to like everyone all the time. Learning to work with people you don’t like is a good interpersonal (人际的) skill to have in life,   no matter what your goals are.

Teachers are there for more than just homework; they know about more than their subject matters. They can help you learn how to behave as an adult and lifelong learner. Undoubtedly, there will be a few teachers along the way who you’ll always remember—and who might change your life forever.