1 . What do work relationships, personal relationships and diplomacy have in common? First, they best function when based on purely positive energy.
I developed a more remarkable ability to relate to the people in my life after taking multiple courses from an organization. The organization offers advice far more than anything I’ve ever experienced. As an example of the benefits of their teachings, my decade conflict with my mom has turned into loving relationship. This turnaround was critical since she is now in her late 70s. This renewed love was worth my investment in training or the organization. Had I continued down my former path, I believe my life today would be one of suffering.
They teach never to criticize, condemn, or complain. I have applied these principles to great success in all my relationships. And the rewards have been astounding, beyond my imagination. But in my role of management at work, I need to learn how to combine authority with positivity.
Recently, however, I found a solution. In other words, I discovered the secret to maintaining authority in the workplace while maintaining pure positivity. For the most part, I found it in Napoleon Hill’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. I found many of the same principles taught by the organization, but the guidelines were less optimistic in Hill’s book. For instance, Napoleon Hill’s advice on criticizing without offending suggests we start by mentioning the positives about the person and then follow up with criticism.
But, of course, the organization advises against all complaints and I’ve concluded that work relationships, too, shouldn’t have any criticisms. Instead, work relationships should focus on another of Napoleon Hill’s strategies: focusing only on the positives while using suggestions instead of criticism. In other words, say, “That looks great. Do you think this addition might make it even better?” instead of “Here’s what that is lacking.”
1. Why did the author take several courses from an organization?| A．To mainly learn management skills. |
| B．To enrich his technological knowledge. |
| C．To deal with relationships in a positive way. |
| D．To become more sociable as a successful diplomat. |
| A．It did not come as a surprise. |
| B．It had little to do with the courses. |
| C．It was the result of his mother’s great efforts. |
| D．It was very important considering her old age. |
| A．Satisfactory. | B．Unexpected. | C．Unsurprising. | D．Imaginary. |
| A．To show how powerful criticism is. |
| B．To suggest replacing complaints with criticism. |
| C．To show how to use suggestions instead of criticism. |
| D．To advise readers to combine suggestions with criticism. |
2 . When someone you care about has suffered a serious health event or is dealing with a life-threatening illness, it can be difficult to know what to say or do.
Offer your support. Your friend or loved one may be unwilling to ask for help, but it’s support from people like you that can make all the difference in their recovery. Offer to help with a specific task, even if it’s simply to sit with them during or after treatment.
Listen. When you talk to someone with a serious illness, it’s natural to feel awkward or not know what to say.
Stay connected.
| A．Encourage your loved one to keep calm. |
| B．Some illnesses can involve long-term treatment. |
| C．But often what really counts is to listen to the person. |
| D．Educate yourself about the illness but don’t give advice. |
| E．All you need to do is to present your determined attitude. |
| F．Your loved one is likely to experience some painful feelings. |
| G．Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is to be there. |
3 . The word listen, as is shown in Longman Dictionary, means paying attention to what someone is saying or to a sound that you can hear. Listening is definitely an important skill in communication. “When people talk, listen completely.” Those words of Ernest Hemingway might be a pretty good guiding principle for many managers. After all, people like being listened to.
Some firms use a technique known as a “listening circle”. In such a circle, only one person can talk about the issues they face at a time and there is no interruption. A study cited in the Harvard Business Review found that employees who had taken part in a listening circle subsequently suffered less social anxiety and had fewer worries about work-related matters than those who did not.
Listening has been critical to the career of Richard Mullender, who was a hostage (人质) negotiator, dealing with everything from suicide interventions to international kidnaps (绑架). He defines listening as “the identification, selection and interpretation of the key words”. It is crucial to all effective communication.
Plenty of people think that good listening is about nodding your head or keeping eye contact. But that is not really listening, Mr Mullender argues. A good listener is always looking for facts, emotions and indications of the other person’s values. Another important point to bear in mind is that, when you talk, you are not listening. The listener’s focus should be on analysis.
Of course, a listener needs to speak occasionally. One approach is to make an assessment of what the other person is telling you and then check it with them. For example, you can check with the other person by saying “It seems to me that what you want is…”. That gives the other party a sense that they are being understood. The fundamental aim is to build up a relationship so the other person likes you and trusts you, Mr Mullender says.
1. What can we learn about a “listening circle”?| A．A listening circle focuses on personal issues. |
| B．In a listening circle, a speaker won’t be interrupted. |
| C．A listening circle increases worries about work-related matters. |
| D．Employees get rid of social anxiety by taking part in a listening circle. |
| A．Critical. | B．Opposed. | C．Cautious. | D．Favorable. |
| A．To be liked and trusted by the other person. |
| B．To check our assessments with the other person. |
| C．To make assessments of what the other person is saying. |
| D．To have a sense of being understood by the other person. |
| A．The Analysis of a Listening Circle |
| B．The Tricks of Successful Listening |
| C．The Misunderstanding of Listening |
| D．The Necessity of Effective Listening |
4 . My wife and I were at a crowded grocery store not long ago. It was a weekday evening, cold and wet and tense. People were carelessly blocking aisles, complaining and cutting one another off with their carts. At one point, two women quarreled for several minutes in the freezer section.
Things got worse at the checkout line. The cashier scanned a man’s discount card, but he misread the savings on her screen as an additional charge. He decided she was acting on purpose and began to argue.
Other customers looked away as the cashier tried to reason with him. She called a manager, who took him to customer service. Shaken, she moved to the next customer in line.
We’ve all witnessed uncomfortable scenes like this in public places. My reaction when I see them is both personal and professional. I am a data analyst and sociologist who studies how and why people interact with one another — or why they choose not to. To me, the grocery scene was another example of how our trust in others has disappeared. But it was also a teachable moment on how we can rebuild our faith — starting with just one person.
Therefore, my wife and I reached the disturbed cashier. I grabbed a bottle of water from a nearby cooler and handed it to her. We learned her name was Beth.
“We felt bad about how that man treated you and wanted to buy this for you.” I said.
Beth’s face lit up, and we talked as she scanned our items. She told us she had been working that evening through severe foot pain and would be having surgery later that week. We wished her well in her recovery, and she thanked us as we left.
That is the balancing act, the moment of countering social and emotional pain with healing, that will add up to restore trust across the United States. You can start that pattern in someone else’s life, even in a place as ordinary as the neighborhood grocery store.
1. By describing the arguments, the author wants to show________.| A．the job as a cashier is not easy | B．people in the U.S are unfriendly |
| C．arguments in public are very common | D．trust in each other has worn off |
| A．Sad and regretful. | B．Sorry and embarrassed. |
| C．Cheerful and rewarded. | D．Grateful and relieved. |
| A．Doubtful. | B．Optimistic. | C．Uncaring. | D．Cautious. |
| A．A Miserable Cashier | B．A Helping Hand |
| C．Learning to Trust Again | D．Starting a new life |
5 . My daughter Eve used to love the Lightning McQueen character from the film ‘Cars’. As a little baby she began to stop and smile every time she saw the character. She was happy when a relative bought her some ‘Cars’ toys.
I knew her interest in ‘Cars’ had disappeared recently; she’s developed new interests since starting school. But when I found myself in a hurry to buy juice cartons(盒装果汁), and the choice was between ‘Disney Princess’ or ‘Cars’ cartons, I took the ‘Cars’ ones.
The next morning she saw a carton go into her lunch bag and took it out. She said it embarrassed her. She told me it was because ‘Cars’ is ‘boyish’. When I said to her that I thought she liked ‘Cars’, she said, very quietly, “I do, but I don’t want anyone to know“. Eve says children should be able to like whatever they want to, but the pressure to behave ‘like a girl’ has got to her.
Children do understand the gendered messages they receive. They understand the gender rule ‘This is for boys and that is for girls, ‘in the same way as other kinds of social rules. The period between birth and age 7 is called The Imprint Period, because this is when children learn about everything around them. They accept much of it as true. It’s one of the reasons gender-stereotyped(性别刻板印象的)toys can be so damaging.
From the moment they are born, children are expected to live up to expectations of what it means to be a boy or a girl. It’s easy to see that they are influenced by the way toys are marketed. Children accept what their world tells them, so it’s necessary to change the harmful stereotypes they are being sold.
1. Why did the author buy ‘Cars’ cartons?| A．She chose them only out of habit. | B．She loved the characters in ‘Cars’. |
| C．She had no choice but to take them. | D．She tried to stimulate Eve’s interest. |
| A．She wanted it stored by her mother. | B．She disliked being the envy of others. |
| C．She lost interest in the ‘Cars’ carton. | D．She didn’t want to be laughed at by others. |
| A．They learn how to tell right from wrong. | B．They turn a blind eye to the surroundings. |
| C．They can be easily affected by social rules. | D．They care too much about others’ thoughts. |
| A．Let Toys Be Toys | B．Girls Will Be Girls |
| C．Toys for Boys Only | D．Let Rules Be Rules |
The Best Response to Criticism
When someone criticizes you, your natural reaction is mostly to feel bad about it or defend yourself. If you lack confidence or if you have no clear opinion about yourself, you may also feel pain and even accept the criticism as true. Living in this world, we have to deal with the opinions of others and keep ourselves safe from their negativity.
Sometimes, you will face genuine criticism from others. If you are too caught up in defensive attitude and not being open minded, you may not receive the criticism well and may not perceive the truth in it. When you are criticized, remember that your opinion of yourself is probably more genuine than the opinion of another who does not know you as much as you know about you.
Yet, we give so much importance to what others say and what they think about us. It is natural because we prefer to be approved and accepted by others, or at least respected and acknowledged for who we are. The truth is, in many respects, criticism is a reflection of the person who indulges in it rather than you. A critic’s criticism reveals more about him and his judgment rather than the object of his criticism.
Criticism is a personal opinion of the critic. It very much depends upon the person, his or her thinking, beliefs, knowledge, attitude and values. It is a product of his worldview, upbringing, values, beliefs, likes and dislikes, knowledge and ignorance. It also depends upon his relationship and attitude towards the person for whom the criticism is intended.
A criticism which is not based upon true discernment（识别能力）and purity of perception and judgment should not be considered true criticism. You can ignore it or use it to know the people who criticize.
Every criticism helps you know about you or those who engage in it. Use it to improve yourself or your relationships. If you understand this truth, you will accept criticism as a blessing and an opportunity to become a better person with better awareness.
1. According to this passage, what is the natural reaction when one gets criticized?2. Why do we give so much importance to what others say and what they think about us?
3. Please decide which part is false in the following statement, then underline it and explain why.
Since every criticism is a personal opinion of the critic, it is not helpful for us.
4. How do you usually respond to criticism?（In about 40 words）
7 . They caused the first wound, but you are causing the rest; this is what not forgiving does. They got it started but you keep it going. Forgive and let it go, or it will eat you alive. You think they made you feel this way, but when you don’t forgive, you are the one creating the pain on yourself.
Whatever you do — don’t wait to forgive someone until they apologize, ask for your forgiveness or even admit they have harmed you. If you are waiting for someone to admit they have hurt you, you could be waiting forever and it puts them in the power position, where you need something from them to move forward in your own life.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with how wrong someone else was; no matter how wrong they are, when you forgive a person, you break the ties with their ill deeds that keep you in pain. Forgiving breaks the unhealthy bonds between you and the one who hurt you, and redefines you as an independent victor in your own life. Whether they accept their responsibility or not, you are no longer dependent on their participation for your healing (治愈). You can forgive them, and you can then move on. Boundaries are an essential part of forgiveness.
It is easy to hold a grudge (记仇). It is easy to blame. But these experiences are a lasting role of a powerless victim (受害者). When you hold grudges the victimization continues.
It takes emotional bravery to forgive. It takes a huge determination toward self-care to let go of painful past events and not let them identify your future. There is no self-love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without self-love. Forgiving others may be the ultimate act of self-love. Through forgiveness you can protect yourself from suffering from the lapses made by others.
1. According to the author, if you don’t forgive, you’ll _____.| A．suffer further | B．keep your pride |
| C．become stronger | D．receive an apology |
| A．It counts a great deal. | B．It is tied to you firmly. |
| C．It is nothing important. | D．It decides whether you forgive. |
| A．decisions | B．mistakes |
| C．contributions | D．apologies |
| A．To advise us not to blame others. |
| B．To tell us it is difficult to forgive others. |
| C．To tell us the importance of forgiving others. |
| D．To advise us to learn to forgive others for self-love. |
8 . Everybody wants to hang out with fun people. Nobody wants to be classified as “boring”. It’s just that some of us need a little help in this department. Being fun to hang out with fun people starts with developing healthy self-esteem (自尊) , an adventurous spirit, and a kind personality.
Be confident.
Show interest. Listen and show kindness to others during conversation. If people think they can talk to you about anything, they’ll invite you to hang out more often.
Smile. Looking the part of a fun person is half the battle, and it’s not even really much of a battle because once you get the hang of it, smiling just becomes a reflex, and an attractive one at that.
Learn how to “hang out”.
| A．Be positive |
| B．Hold the conversation |
| C．Don’t control the conversation |
| D．Have a healthy sense of self or good self-esteem |
| E．Hanging out means the same thing to every person |
| F．All of this will make you an ideal person to hang out with |
| G．Hanging out can mean different things to different people |
9 . When you are communication, you spend nearly 60% of your time listening to other people, but most people only remember 25% of what they hear.
Be more present. When you are listening to someone, put everything else aside and give your full attention to the person. Make sure you keep eye contact with the person at all times.
Ask more questions. Being a good listener doesn't just mean that you sit quietly and let the other person speak.
Train your emotional intelligence. Your emotional intelligence influences your ability to listen to other people.
Make a note of the conversation.
| A．Try to think carefully. |
| B．Be in sympathy with the person. |
| C．The good news is that you can train it. |
| D．So why can't most people be great listeners? |
| E．You also need to inquire about something meaningful. |
| F．So what can you do to listen more and become a great listener? |
| G．When you finish the discussion, don't move on to the next thing immediately. |
10 . Talking to someone on a train, bus, or subway can be risky yet exciting, as you never know when they’re going to get off. Starting a connection can be fun as the costs are fairly low and you can easily start and stop a conversation, or get off if things become awkward.
Make eye contact. Making brief eye contact can show the persons that you’re interested and help you judge whether they are interested in you. Glance at the persons and try to hold your gaze (注视) for just a second or two.
Smile at the persons. If you’ve successfully met their gaze, smile at them.
If you want to start a conversation with the persons, smiling is a great way to get somebody’s attention.
Approach the persons to start talking to them.
| A．Use open body language. |
| B．Mind your manners while talking. |
| C．Notice how they respond to your gaze. |
| D．Don’t worry because you can follow some tips that make you smile. |
| E．Once you’ve read that the persons are interested in chatting, make a move. |
| F．A small but sincere smile makes you appear interested, friendly and approachable. |
| G．Therefore, try to get someone’s attention and start a conversation by following the tips. |
