1 . It’s never easy to say “no”, especially when we’re asked by someone close to us, Maybe a friend is asking you for a favor, or a co-worker is asking you to cover their shift for the afternoon     1    . Don’t worry, We’ve put together some tips to help you politely refuse a request without feeling guilty or hurting anyone’s feelings in the process.

Be kind but forthright. Though you can always just say “no” on your own terms, you might find more success by padding your refusal with positivity.     2    . There’s no need to hide the real reason why you’re saying “no”, as long as you can express it in a polite manner. People will appreciate it if you tell them kindly and quickly why you can’t accommodate them.

    3    . It’s important to set boundaries (界限) with co workers and close friends alike. People shouldn’t expect they can take advantage of you or you’ll drop everything for them at the last minute. Aim for relationships in which both of you feel glad to say “yes” when you can but are also understanding when one of you can’t.

Offer a brief explanation. Providing a concise explanation as to why you’re refusing a request is one polite way to say “no”. For instance, if you already have other work this week that would prevent you from hitting a pew deadline, let the person know that. You’d better avoid adding too much fluff (无价值的东西) to your explanation.     4     .

Know yourself. Knowing yourself and your needs will help you decide if you should say“no”. Have a brainstorming session about areas where you have too much on your plate.     5    . You need to be able to take care of yourself before you can show up for others.

4 . When romantic partners argue over things like finances, jealousy, or other interpersonal issues, they tend to employ their current feelings as fuel for a heated argument. But thinking about the future helps overcome relationship conflicts, according to a University of Waterloo study just published online in Social Psychological and Personality Science. Alex Huynh, a doctoral candidate in psychology is the lead author of the study, which he published with Igor Grossmann from the University of Waterloo, and Daniel Yang from Yale University.

Previous research has shown that third-perspective reasoning can be a positive strategy for reconciliation (调解) of interpersonal struggles. Huynh and his collaborators investigated whether similar benefit can be induced by simply thinking about the future. Study participants were instructed to reflect on a recent conflict with a romantic partner or a close friend. One group of participants were then asked to describe how they would feel about the conflict one year in the future, while another group was asked to describe how they feel in the present.

The team examined participants’ written responses through a text-analysis program for their use of pronouns — such as I, me, she, he. These choices of pronouns were used to capture participants’ focus on the feelings and behaviour of those involved in the conflict. Written responses were also examined for forgiveness and reinterpreting the conflict more positively, both of which implied the participants’ use of reasoning strategies.

The researchers found that envisioning future relationship affected both participants’ focus on their feelings, and their reasoning strategies. As a result, participants reported more positivity about their relationship altogether, especially when study participants extended their thinking about the relationship a year into the future.

“Our study demonstrates that adopting a future-oriented perspective in the context of a relationship conflict — reflecting on how one might feel a year from now — may be a valuable coping tool for one’s psychological happiness and relationship well-being,” said Huynh.

6 . Many people confuse hard-working people with workaholics(工作狂). How could a person tell that he/she is a workaholic? A workaholic works long hours, at the expense of personal relationships and health. When not working, they’re thinking about work. Work influences their mood: when work is going well, they’re up; when work is going less well, they’re down.

Working, or simply being busy, can be a hard habit to break. When workaholics aren’t busy working—or doing something to promote their work—they feel anxious and guilty. They hang onto jobs for dear life and do everything they can to make sure they’re essential.

There is a link between health problems and workaholism. Just because work itself is a respectable pursuit(追求) doesn’t mean that an addiction to it is any less damaging than other sorts of addictions. A number of studies show that workaholism has been associated with a wide range of health problems, such as anxiety and heart disease.

Besides health problems, being a workaholic brings other negative effects as well. A study published in the American Journal of Family Therapy found that working too much negatively influenced an employee’s marriage. This isn’t surprising, since if you’re married to your work, it can be difficult to be married to anything, or anyone, else. There have also been studies looking at the influence of workaholic parents on their children and the news isn’t good. Adult children of workaholic fathers experienced more depression and anxiety and a weaker sense of self.

However, there are also many positive aspects to working hard and to an increasing devotion to career. Hard work can bring great rewards. For many, it’s how they develop feelings of self-worth and confidence and purpose. If you have a workaholic in your life, you might point out the things he or she is missing out on while at work, whether it’s a child’s soccer game, a good book, or a yoga class. Seek to understand why the person feels the need to work so much and support them in finding a solution.