3 . Have you ever felt the need to be alone for a while? I don’t mean situations when you should be alone, but occasions where you are with a group of people at a party or a restaurant. You get tired of jumping from conversation to conversation, and your mind starts to wander towards that interesting book you left halfway done, or that movie you have been meaning to watch.     1     Now before you rush to defense, please understand that being an introvert (内向的人)is completely normal.

A common misunderstanding about introverts is that they are loners or anti-social.     2     They have friends, probably not as many as extroverts (外向的人), but enough to suit their needs for human interaction. Scientifically, all humans fall somewhere between being an introvert and being an extrovert, and at least 25 percent of us are introverts.

    3     Therefore, the ability to network is extremely valuable. Of course, sometimes introverts might be as capable of talking with people as extroverts, but sometimes they have to force themselves to engage with others in order to “fit in”. While extroverts feel comfortable shaking hands and making jokes, introverts get increasingly exhausted.     4     For the introverted, to continue in this awkward situation could really end up bringing them harm, with individuals reporting to suffer from loss of sleep, panic attacks and depression.

    5     They form deep thoughts, conduct themselves carefully, and pay significant attention to detail. So, for the best results in a project involving group work, both introverts and extroverts are needed.

4 . When romantic partners argue over things like finances, jealousy, or other interpersonal issues, they tend to employ their current feelings as fuel for a heated argument. But thinking about the future helps overcome relationship conflicts, according to a University of Waterloo study just published online in Social Psychological and Personality Science. Alex Huynh, a doctoral candidate in psychology is the lead author of the study, which he published with Igor Grossmann from the University of Waterloo, and Daniel Yang from Yale University.

Previous research has shown that third-perspective reasoning can be a positive strategy for reconciliation (调解) of interpersonal struggles. Huynh and his collaborators investigated whether similar benefit can be induced by simply thinking about the future. Study participants were instructed to reflect on a recent conflict with a romantic partner or a close friend. One group of participants were then asked to describe how they would feel about the conflict one year in the future, while another group was asked to describe how they feel in the present.

The team examined participants’ written responses through a text-analysis program for their use of pronouns — such as I, me, she, he. These choices of pronouns were used to capture participants’ focus on the feelings and behaviour of those involved in the conflict. Written responses were also examined for forgiveness and reinterpreting the conflict more positively, both of which implied the participants’ use of reasoning strategies.

The researchers found that envisioning future relationship affected both participants’ focus on their feelings, and their reasoning strategies. As a result, participants reported more positivity about their relationship altogether, especially when study participants extended their thinking about the relationship a year into the future.

“Our study demonstrates that adopting a future-oriented perspective in the context of a relationship conflict — reflecting on how one might feel a year from now — may be a valuable coping tool for one’s psychological happiness and relationship well-being,” said Huynh.

5 . Everybody needs casual relationships or "weak ties" while growing up.     1    

Fewer friends as we age

Young adults gather lots of friends but by the mid-20s when responsibilities increase and free time reduces, so does the number of friendships.     2     But that doesn't mean we don't still benefit from relationships-even super-casual ones

Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer of psychology at the University of Essex, studies social interactions（互动）. She found that sustaining these minor connections keeps us involved in the community, particularly after a move away from close friends and family or after the loss of a loved one.

    3     They believe that these interactions can't possibly provide any meaning. So they are focused on whatever is next and don't stop and take that second to enjoy the moment.

How to make more friends

    4     Experts suggest taking time to talk to people you might normally overlook. Instead of just thanking a waiter or clerk, begin a conversation. Make a point to talk to a familiar, friendly face you see often at the gym or when you walk in the park.

Don't just ask about the weather or something like "How's your day going?" Take time to get to know that person so the exchange and the relationship become more meaningful for both of you.     5    

6 . Criticism is harmful to healthy relationships.     1     First, work on changing your own behavior. Then, find effective ways to communicate if someone bothers you.

Changing Your Behavior

●Think before you speak.     2     Sometimes, it’s best to let small indiscretions (轻率的行为) go. Try taking a few deep breaths and leaving the room instead of criticizing.

●Separate the individual from their actions. If you work on separating the person from the action, you may naturally want to criticize less. As you realize you cannot judge a person’s character based on a single choice or decision, you will be unable to call someone out for being rude or disrespectful.

●Focus on positives. Oftentimes, being critical results from how you’re choosing to see a situation. Everyone has shortcomings. However, the vast majority of people have good qualities that outweigh bad ones.     3    

Communicating More Effectively

●    4     Some people have issues that may need addressing. However, feedback is very different from criticism. When addressing an issue, focus on suggestions you can make to help another person improve, which is more effective than criticizing.

●Ask for what you want directly. Inefficient communication often results in heavy criticism.     5     Make sure to ask for what you want in a direct, respectful manner. This will eliminate (消除) the need for criticism.

●Consider the other party’s perspective. If you criticize others too often, you may be shutting out the other person’s point of view. Try to step in another person’s shoes before criticizing and you may get some new and special ideas.

9 . When it comes to team assembly, people who are both trustworthy and competent are the most sought after. However, those who are friendly and trustworthy are more likely to be selected than those who are known for just their skill competence and personal reputation, according to a new research from Binghamton University.

“We assume that people are selected due to their knowledge, skills and abilities. However, this research suggests that people may often get picked because team members feel comfortable with them,” said Cynthia Maupin, assistant professor in Binghamton University’s School of Management. “People may be willing to sacrifice a bit in terms of performance in order to have a really positive team experience.”

Maupin and her colleagues focused on a group of MBA students to conduct their study. Students were randomly assigned to different teams to carry out class projects. Toward the end of the semester, they were asked to form their own teams and evaluate why they selected each member.

“To find out how the students signaled to others that they might be someone who would be good to team up with in the future, we studied their use of either challenging or supportive voice, Maupin said.

•Challenging voice: Communicating in a way that challenges the present situation and is focused on new ideas and efficiency.

•Supportive voice: Communicating in a way that strengthens social ties and trust.

The researchers found that students who exhibited both voices were the most in-demand people when it came to assembling teams. However, students who only used supportive voice to exhibit their friendliness and trustworthiness were more sought after than those who only signaled their competence through the use of challenging voice.

Maupin said the findings have major implications for the workplace. “People should realize the way they speak up can have a strong effect on informal teaming up at a later point and that supportive voice helps establish harmonious relationships and a sense of trust amongst individuals.”

10 . We moved into a new neighborhood in 1990, Andy was pretty much the first person we ________. He came across the street to ________ us. Having lived there since 1967, he was warm and kind, full of ________. He would introduce to us which bakery for cakes, which store for shopping and ________ the occupations of everyone around us.

Andy would proudly and regularly ________ his veteran (老兵) cap and play music while doing yard work. ________ anything, though, he delighted in talking about our kids as much as about his. We watched out for each other. He would ________ our vegetable gardens when we went on vacation; we gave him some of our ________ in return. Andy and I would also complain about the big trucks that used our streets as a shortcut. As more time went by, we didn’t see him out ________ his small dog as often due to his ________ problem, and we’d help with clearing the ________ in the winter. Those ties continued with time passing by.

But the real ________ of our neighborhoods is their people — an Andy, or, in some cases, many Andys. Our neighborhoods are built on them, and ________ by their emotional ties. We are better for their ________, and worse for their absence.

Andy died this month. I will miss him, more than he ________.