1 . Humans, by nature, have always lived in groups and social interaction is fundamental for every part of our health. Lack of it can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. A strong support network and solid community bonds promote our emotional and physical health, and are critical components of a balanced adult life. However, just as with many other aspects of our lives, there seems to be a limit to how large our personal networks can grow.

Back in 1992, a British scholar named Robin Dunbar came up with a hypothetical (假设的) number defining the maximum sum of meaningful human relationships a person can have. The number, which was later named after him, was discovered accidentally while he was studying the cleaning and brushing tendencies — a social behavior —of non-human primates (灵长类动物). Around that time, researchers had discovered that the large brain of these primates was a result of their socially complex societies. The relevance was that the larger the brain, the larger the animal's social group was likely to be. Scientists could then theoretically use an animal's brain size to calculate how many members could make up this group. Dunbar applied this theory to humans, and the resulting number was roughly 150.

Dunbar's Number, however, only refers to the limit of meaningful contacts within our social network. It does not account for other relationships. Human social relationships tend to have numerous layers, and extend outward from the individual in circles with the same centre. The innermost circle contains five people: our loved ones. The next circle holds of our good friends. The third circle is reserved for people we consider friends, and the fourth is where the limit of 150 can be found. Nowadays, with various forms of electronic communication, such as websites for social networking and microblogging people find it very convenient to create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages, and other contents. Consequently, it is possible for a human to get into the fifth (500acquainitances) circle, an impressive breakthrough that was difficult to achieve in the past.

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2 . How to Overcome Social Anxiety

Do you get nervous when you are tasked to give a speech? Do you get sweaty and uncomfortable during interviews? Many people get nervous or self-conscious on occasion, but social anxiety is more than just shyness or occasional nerves.    1    In fact, it becomes so intense that you may go to great lengths to avoid situations that can trigger it. Here are some self-help strategies to help you overcome social anxiety.

Analyze the negative thoughts contributing to social anxiety. For example, when you are worried about an upcoming social gathering, identify the underlying negative thought like “I’ll seem boring”. Be objective and ask questions like “Do I know for sure that they will get bored with me?”    2    

Stop unhelpful thinking patterns that fuel your anxiety. One typical example is mind reading, which refers to assuming someone is thinking something negative about you.    3    It occurs when you describe yourself with just one word such as “stupid”, or “failure”. These patterns of thought prevent you from seeing things as they really are. By transforming your way of thinking, you can change how you feel for the better.

    4    When you are in a social situation, you tend to get caught up in your anxious thoughts. You are convincing yourself that all the people are looking at you, thus triggering even more anxiety! To overcome it, take time to appreciate what other people are doing. Do your best to engage with them and make a genuine connection.

Gather up your courage to face your fears. Avoidance will only keep your social anxiety disorder going. It prevents you from becoming more comfortable in social situations.    5     Also, avoidance prevents you from doing things you’d like to do. The way out is to start with a situation that you can handle like talking to one office mate. Then you can gradually work your way up to more challenging situations.

3 . Video conferencing has been around for more than 20 years. Until the Covid-19 pandemic, though, you would find that many people needing to attend a meeting remotely would be calling from a real conference room full of their teammates. Today, we're routinely holding video conferences that are 100% virtual (虚拟).And this is creating a problem that technology can't fix.

The problem is us, specifically the fact that we haven't evolved socially to the point where we can bear much separation. So much of our well-being and work productivity is decided on how close we are physically. The removal of that for any period of time can be severely damaging. One surprising victim of social distancing is laughter

Normally people laugh about 18 times per day. And 97% of that time we're laughing with others - we are 30 times more likely to laugh with others than to laugh alone. Think about it: how often when you and your friends laugh at something, is that something actually funny? Research shows that 80% of what people laugh at is really not that funny.

So why do people laugh? They laugh in order to laugh with others. Just as everyone starts yawning (打哈欠) when just one person yawns, most people can't help but laugh when those around them do. This is why TV comedy shows often use prerecorded laugh tracks.

Laughing in response to other people's laughing is not just a behavioral phenomenon. When we laugh, our body produces two key chemicals: endorphin which helps relieve pain and sets off feelings of pleasure, and dopamine which can improve learning, motivation and attention. In fact, studies show that people can stand 15% more pain simply by laughing for a few minutes beforehand. Laughter is also associated with higher motivation and productivity at work.

In today's home-alone, virtual-team world, this is exactly what you as a team leader should be doing: for your team members to stay healthy and productive, you need to get them to laugh more and stress less.

Romantic Attraction

Sometimes, it seems we are attracted towards people romantically in a puzzling manner. We see someone and our romantic side bursts out. However, it is not a mystery to science and people who study sociology. There are definite causes as to why people become romantically attracted to each other. These factors are, similarity, communication, and honesty.

Though people often say opposites attract, similarity often connects individuals in a romantic way. In fact, based on research done by the University of Colorado Boulder, we tend to choose partners who have a similar DNA to ours. Of course we cannot examine the DNA of others readily, but we can naturally “feel” if people are a genetic match for us.

Communication is another essential factor in the romantic attraction way. If we feel a deep connection to someone through the ease of talking with them, we are much more likely to be attracted to that person. It is difficult to be romantically involved with someone you can barely communicate with. And as a side note, there are people we are not attracted to each other in appearance, but after communicating with them for some time, we suddenly become romantically interested in them.

Friends often connect through noticing the honesty of others, but this also lends to romantic attraction. According to Kelly Campbell, PhD, “Chemistry occurs most often between people who are down-to-earth and sincere. This is because if a person is comfortable with themselves, they are better able to express their true self to the world, which makes it easier to get to know them, even if perspectives on important matters differed”. This adds to the perspective that easy communication between people contributes to romantic attraction.

7 . Empathy, the ability to understand and co-experience the feelings and thoughts of other people, is probably one of the most important skills a person can have.     1    

• Humans are social animals.

There are very few activities that humans take part in that don’t involve others.     2    It allows you to perceive others’ motives, treat them the way they want to be treated, understand how others perceive you, and so on.

• It lets you better understand non-verbal components of communication.

    3    People who are not empathetic have a hard time reading between the lines of conversations. They cannot understand that what the other person means to communicate is different from what they actually say.

•     4    

When you unconsciously perceive what the other party wants and needs and can understand exactly why they want it, reaching a “win-win” solution gets easier. You don’t have to blindly search for a way out.

• It broadens your horizons.

Seeing the world from other people’s perspectives lets you perceive it to a fuller extent. When you are able to look at life from other people’s point of view, you are able to live a more fulfilled life.

    5    Thus, achieving higher levels of empathy often means achieving greater fulfilment as human beings.

8 . How to Show Maturity

Sometimes it's fun to be a kid, but other times you want to show that you can be mature. Maturity can be a signpost of moving from childhood to adulthood.     1     Maturity is not a set of rules or expectations, but it is a concept. Here are some ways to help you become mature.

●Live by your values. Maturity includes making decisions based on your values and morals, instead of what feels good at the moment.     2     Let your character master your desires. Show people that you are willing to live out your values, even if it presents minor inconveniences to you.

●     3     When you were younger, your schedule was made for you: you went to school or sports or dance. Now, you may have more ability to make your own schedule. When you say you will do something, do it. Even if it isn't your idea of fun, show people that they can count on you and that you are reliable.

●Treat people with respect. Respect builds trust and support in a relationship. Make sure you treat others with the same respect, whether it is your parents, friends or romantic partner.     4    

●Admit your disadvantages.     5     Don't blame other people for the problems in your life. All relationships are interactional, meaning that you both contribute to how you feel and what happens. It's much easier to blame people for how bad you feel, but recognize your role, and take responsibility for your actions.

9 . False Memories or Parallel (平行的) Realities?

Here is a common situation: You’re talking with someone about an event, only to discover that you both remember things quite differently. Usually, you’d put it down to a poor memory, but what if it wasn’t just one person who remembered things differently? What if it was millions?

In fact, this isn’t a “what if” situation. It’s known as the Mandela Effect, and it was first noticed in 2009 by paranormal researcher Fiona Broome. Broome was chatting with people about the South African activist Nelson Mandela, and she commented how sad it was that he had died in prison in the 1980s.     1     Actually, he'd been released in 1990, become president of South Africa, and died in 2013.

Broome was so shocked at this that she started an investigation.     2     People have memories of movies that never existed, and famous words that were never spoken. There is even a group who clearly recall seeing maps showing that New Zealand was northeast of Australia (it’s southeast ). So what in the world is going on?

    3     In each reality, history is shaped by different events, and the Mandela Effect occurs when some of us shift from one reality to another. Therefore, those who remember Nelson Mandela dying in the 1980s aren’t wrong. They’re just remembering events from their original reality.

More likely, however, is that the Mandela Effect has to do with how our brains store information.     4     Many people remember Pikachu’s tail having a black tip on the end of it, when in fact it was always yellow. “Aha!” you cry. “Parallel realities!” Probably not. Consider instead that people often ignore unfamiliar details and transform information to make it more understandable. In the Pikachu example, his tail may not have a black tip, but his ears certainly do. Thus, both his ears and tail are misremembered as having black tips.     5    

All things considered, if you’re stuck arguing with someone about whose version of events is correct, it may indeed be easier to agree that neither of you is wrong. You just come from different realities.

10 . You can be hurt by other people in life. That is a fact. And some of those hurts can even leave scars that affect how you think, act and relate to others.    1    Withdraw into a shell, hide in a cave, and isolate(孤立) yourself from others. Definitely not. You can make a different choice to make painful circumstances direct you to a new path.

Remember you can’t please every single person especially a critical one.    2     Some are praying for rain, while others are praying for sunshine. You shouldn’t be replaying hurtful statements made to you. Additionally, it’s foolish to attempt what is impossible.

    3     We live in a society where we don’t get a whole lot of approval. It is not wise of you to do all sorts of crazy things trying to win a smile from some people too cold to ever give it. So refuse to play the game. Don’t waste any energy trying to convince unpleasable, disapproving people that you are a great person.    4    

Refuse to fight back. When we are hurt, the instant reaction is to fight back.     5     Instead, you can pray for the other person. It will help both of you. Be an actor, not a reactor.

It cannot be denied that dealing with other people effectively is one of the most important things you can learn in life. After you’ve mastered that you’re about 95 percent down the road to finding happiness.