1 . What do work relationships, personal relationships and diplomacy have in common? First, they best function when based on purely positive energy.
I developed a more remarkable ability to relate to the people in my life after taking multiple courses from an organization. The organization offers advice far more than anything I’ve ever experienced. As an example of the benefits of their teachings, my decade conflict with my mom has turned into loving relationship. This turnaround was critical since she is now in her late 70s. This renewed love was worth my investment in training or the organization. Had I continued down my former path, I believe my life today would be one of suffering.
They teach never to criticize, condemn, or complain. I have applied these principles to great success in all my relationships. And the rewards have been astounding, beyond my imagination. But in my role of management at work, I need to learn how to combine authority with positivity.
Recently, however, I found a solution. In other words, I discovered the secret to maintaining authority in the workplace while maintaining pure positivity. For the most part, I found it in Napoleon Hill’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. I found many of the same principles taught by the organization, but the guidelines were less optimistic in Hill’s book. For instance, Napoleon Hill’s advice on criticizing without offending suggests we start by mentioning the positives about the person and then follow up with criticism.
But, of course, the organization advises against all complaints and I’ve concluded that work relationships, too, shouldn’t have any criticisms. Instead, work relationships should focus on another of Napoleon Hill’s strategies: focusing only on the positives while using suggestions instead of criticism. In other words, say, “That looks great. Do you think this addition might make it even better?” instead of “Here’s what that is lacking.”
1. Why did the author take several courses from an organization?| A．To mainly learn management skills. |
| B．To enrich his technological knowledge. |
| C．To deal with relationships in a positive way. |
| D．To become more sociable as a successful diplomat. |
| A．It did not come as a surprise. |
| B．It had little to do with the courses. |
| C．It was the result of his mother’s great efforts. |
| D．It was very important considering her old age. |
| A．Satisfactory. | B．Unexpected. | C．Unsurprising. | D．Imaginary. |
| A．To show how powerful criticism is. |
| B．To suggest replacing complaints with criticism. |
| C．To show how to use suggestions instead of criticism. |
| D．To advise readers to combine suggestions with criticism. |
2 . How long have you been going to the same hairdresser or barber? It’s a question that gets us thinking about the unique friendship we
You have confidence in each other. You have a laugh together and regularly
Many people have
While she cut my hair recently, we chatted about that special
For Claire, the customer interaction is something she loves about the job and that she has
| A．break | B．promote | C．form | D．begin |
| A．catch up on | B．make up for | C．put up with | D．end up with |
| A．request | B．desire | C．occasion | D．recipe |
| A．resolve | B．remember | C．cherish | D．evaluate |
| A．reliable | B．unforgettable | C．imaginable | D．inseparable |
| A．shapes | B．models | C．styles | D．sorts |
| A．Besides | B．Despite | C．Given | D．After |
| A．injuries | B．emotions | C．concerns | D．challenges |
| A．brought | B．shared | C．observed | D．emphasized |
| A．link | B．role | C．habit | D．pattern |
| A．other than | B．rather than | C．less than | D．more than |
| A．eventually | B．gradually | C．immediately | D．frequently |
| A．caring | B．hanging | C．worrying | D．talking |
| A．desire | B．ambition | C．hobby | D．job |
| A．fascinated | B．struck | C．uplifted | D．impressed |
3 . The word listen, as is shown in Longman Dictionary, means paying attention to what someone is saying or to a sound that you can hear. Listening is definitely an important skill in communication. “When people talk, listen completely.” Those words of Ernest Hemingway might be a pretty good guiding principle for many managers. After all, people like being listened to.
Some firms use a technique known as a “listening circle”. In such a circle, only one person can talk about the issues they face at a time and there is no interruption. A study cited in the Harvard Business Review found that employees who had taken part in a listening circle subsequently suffered less social anxiety and had fewer worries about work-related matters than those who did not.
Listening has been critical to the career of Richard Mullender, who was a hostage (人质) negotiator, dealing with everything from suicide interventions to international kidnaps (绑架). He defines listening as “the identification, selection and interpretation of the key words”. It is crucial to all effective communication.
Plenty of people think that good listening is about nodding your head or keeping eye contact. But that is not really listening, Mr Mullender argues. A good listener is always looking for facts, emotions and indications of the other person’s values. Another important point to bear in mind is that, when you talk, you are not listening. The listener’s focus should be on analysis.
Of course, a listener needs to speak occasionally. One approach is to make an assessment of what the other person is telling you and then check it with them. For example, you can check with the other person by saying “It seems to me that what you want is…”. That gives the other party a sense that they are being understood. The fundamental aim is to build up a relationship so the other person likes you and trusts you, Mr Mullender says.
1. What can we learn about a “listening circle”?| A．A listening circle focuses on personal issues. |
| B．In a listening circle, a speaker won’t be interrupted. |
| C．A listening circle increases worries about work-related matters. |
| D．Employees get rid of social anxiety by taking part in a listening circle. |
| A．Critical. | B．Opposed. | C．Cautious. | D．Favorable. |
| A．To be liked and trusted by the other person. |
| B．To check our assessments with the other person. |
| C．To make assessments of what the other person is saying. |
| D．To have a sense of being understood by the other person. |
| A．The Analysis of a Listening Circle |
| B．The Tricks of Successful Listening |
| C．The Misunderstanding of Listening |
| D．The Necessity of Effective Listening |
4 . It is so easy to just go home and shut your door without getting to know your neighbors. But being an active neighbor will turn your living place into a kinder and more caring neighborhood.
Then get out of your comfort zone and make efforts to know more about your neighbors.
Another way to show your neighbors that you care is by making your small acts of kindness a regular practice. This can be cleaning up the litter or even cleaning up after the pets have made a mess on your block.
Remind yourself that being connected feels good and boosts your mood in the long run. If you take the first step, your small acts of kindness can encourage others to pay that kindness forward.
| A．Or if you have an amazing garden |
| B．Remember, every small gesture counts |
| C．If you want to be respected and cared by your neighbors |
| D．For example, ask for their names and learn what they do for work |
| E．Your attitudes towards your friends also set an example for your kids |
| F．It doesn’t take a lot of money or a generous gesture to be an active neighbor |
| G．In the end, more and more people in the neighborhood will feel much better |
The Best Response to Criticism
When someone criticizes you, your natural reaction is mostly to feel bad about it or defend yourself. If you lack confidence or if you have no clear opinion about yourself, you may also feel pain and even accept the criticism as true. Living in this world, we have to deal with the opinions of others and keep ourselves safe from their negativity.
Sometimes, you will face genuine criticism from others. If you are too caught up in defensive attitude and not being open minded, you may not receive the criticism well and may not perceive the truth in it. When you are criticized, remember that your opinion of yourself is probably more genuine than the opinion of another who does not know you as much as you know about you.
Yet, we give so much importance to what others say and what they think about us. It is natural because we prefer to be approved and accepted by others, or at least respected and acknowledged for who we are. The truth is, in many respects, criticism is a reflection of the person who indulges in it rather than you. A critic’s criticism reveals more about him and his judgment rather than the object of his criticism.
Criticism is a personal opinion of the critic. It very much depends upon the person, his or her thinking, beliefs, knowledge, attitude and values. It is a product of his worldview, upbringing, values, beliefs, likes and dislikes, knowledge and ignorance. It also depends upon his relationship and attitude towards the person for whom the criticism is intended.
A criticism which is not based upon true discernment（识别能力）and purity of perception and judgment should not be considered true criticism. You can ignore it or use it to know the people who criticize.
Every criticism helps you know about you or those who engage in it. Use it to improve yourself or your relationships. If you understand this truth, you will accept criticism as a blessing and an opportunity to become a better person with better awareness.
1. According to this passage, what is the natural reaction when one gets criticized?2. Why do we give so much importance to what others say and what they think about us?
3. Please decide which part is false in the following statement, then underline it and explain why.
Since every criticism is a personal opinion of the critic, it is not helpful for us.
4. How do you usually respond to criticism?（In about 40 words）
6 . My daughter Eve used to love the Lightning McQueen character from the film ‘Cars’. As a little baby she began to stop and smile every time she saw the character. She was happy when a relative bought her some ‘Cars’ toys.
I knew her interest in ‘Cars’ had disappeared recently; she’s developed new interests since starting school. But when I found myself in a hurry to buy juice cartons(盒装果汁), and the choice was between ‘Disney Princess’ or ‘Cars’ cartons, I took the ‘Cars’ ones.
The next morning she saw a carton go into her lunch bag and took it out. She said it embarrassed her. She told me it was because ‘Cars’ is ‘boyish’. When I said to her that I thought she liked ‘Cars’, she said, very quietly, “I do, but I don’t want anyone to know“. Eve says children should be able to like whatever they want to, but the pressure to behave ‘like a girl’ has got to her.
Children do understand the gendered messages they receive. They understand the gender rule ‘This is for boys and that is for girls, ‘in the same way as other kinds of social rules. The period between birth and age 7 is called The Imprint Period, because this is when children learn about everything around them. They accept much of it as true. It’s one of the reasons gender-stereotyped(性别刻板印象的)toys can be so damaging.
From the moment they are born, children are expected to live up to expectations of what it means to be a boy or a girl. It’s easy to see that they are influenced by the way toys are marketed. Children accept what their world tells them, so it’s necessary to change the harmful stereotypes they are being sold.
1. Why did the author buy ‘Cars’ cartons?| A．She chose them only out of habit. | B．She loved the characters in ‘Cars’. |
| C．She had no choice but to take them. | D．She tried to stimulate Eve’s interest. |
| A．She wanted it stored by her mother. | B．She disliked being the envy of others. |
| C．She lost interest in the ‘Cars’ carton. | D．She didn’t want to be laughed at by others. |
| A．They learn how to tell right from wrong. | B．They turn a blind eye to the surroundings. |
| C．They can be easily affected by social rules. | D．They care too much about others’ thoughts. |
| A．Let Toys Be Toys | B．Girls Will Be Girls |
| C．Toys for Boys Only | D．Let Rules Be Rules |
7 . We are often reminded of Oscar Wilde’s saying that “sarcasm (讽刺) is the lowest form of wit” while forgetting the following “but the highest form of intelligence”. Parents or teachers of teenagers, in particular, may find it hard to believe that it is actually a sign of a flexible and inventive mind.
Yet that is exactly what psychologists and neuroscientists have been arguing. They have found that sarcasm requires the brain to jump through numerous hoops (圈) to arrive at a correct interpretation, requiring more brainpower than literal statements.
If you’re still not convinced that your teen’s love of sarcasm is a thing worth celebrating, consider a recent experiment from Li Huang, a psychologist at Insead’s business school in Fontainebleau, France.
In the experiment, participants were presented with a candle, a pack of matches and a box of tacks (图钉). Their task was to find a way to attach the candle to the wall so that it could burn without dripping wax on the floor. The correct answer is to empty the box of tacks, pin it to the wall, and then place the candle inside a solution that will only come to mind if you are prepared to think about the functions of each object.
Before working on the problem, some participants were asked to recall a sarcastic interaction, while others remembered a sincere or neutral exchange. Quite amazingly, the sarcastic memories more than doubled the participants’ success rate, from around 30% to more than 60%.
It may initially feel like a shock when parents notice their children using sarcasm——a sign, perhaps, of a more adult-like cynicism (愤世嫉俗) that conflicts with their impressions of their children’s youthful innocence. Parents may feel particularly helpless when dealing with a teenager who uses it in almost all interactions, as if they struggle. to express any sincere emotions.
But should we blame teens for applying this handy tool? Perhaps it’s better seen as the useful practice of a vital ability. Penny Pexman, a psycholinguist at the University of Calgary agrees and it is for this reason that she has produced Sydney Gets Sarcastic, a storybook that provides multiple examples of sarcasm and the reasons it was used. In a recent experiment on 5-to 6-year-olds, she showed that children who read and discussed the story found it easier to detect sarcastic statements in a following test.
1. Why does the author refer to Oscar Wilde’s words at the beginning of the text?| A．To give a definition of sarcasm. |
| B．To stress the significance of sarcasm. |
| C．To express his concern about sarcasm. |
| D．To show the misunderstanding of sarcasm. |
| A．They tended to stay long with participants. |
| B．They offered clues to the problem to be solved. |
| C．They could force participants to face problems. |
| D．They contributed greatly to participant’s success. |
| A．It shows their innocence. |
| B．It helps them express emotions. |
| C．It is not appropriate for their age. |
| D．It allows them to behave like adults. |
| A．To urge parents to learn from their children’s sarcasm. |
| B．To teach parents how to respond to their children’s sarcasm. |
| C．To show parents the positive side of their children’s sarcasm. |
| D．To remind parents to teach their children to use words properly. |
8 . Suppose you are out shopping and come across an acquaintance who starts telling you a story that seems to be dragging on and on. You want to seem interested, so you offer the occasional “Oh” or “I see”. To your surprise, though, this person angrily stops in their tracks and says, “Sorry if I’m boring you!”
Where did this come from? Clearly, your body language must have betrayed you. The idea that verbal (口头的) and nonverbal messages can conflict was the inspiration for a recently published study from Yale University’s Lueylle Armentano. As part of her study of communication in relationships, Armentano’s research also examined communication channels in people meeting for the first time.
To test the role of verbal-nonverbal mismatch on emotional communication, Armentano and her partner created experimental conditions to see what happens when someone asks for help from strangers. The research team created videotapes of a fellow Yale student expressing nervousness in his words, bodily gestures, or both. The bodily gestures included running his hands through his hair, grabbing his arm, and facially expressing uneasiness. The key question was whether the other participants, another 82 Yale students, would believe the student and provide the help he was requesting. They needed to give their responses.
Turning to the findings, those nonverbal cues (提示) of nervousness had a greater impact on helping behavior than the verbal cues. Surprisingly, helping behavior was the highest when verbal expressions of nervousness were low but nonverbal cues were high.
Recognizing that your body language can outweigh your words means that you need to be mindful of what your body is doing when you’re interacting with others. Generally, when someone is speaking to you, you want to look like you’re interested. Not only should you maintain eye contact, but you should keep your body still and face toward the other person. If you’re not trying to look interested, it may be more polite to say you have to be somewhere else.
1. What is paragraph 1 mainly about?| A．The obvious advantages of body language. |
| B．A situation where body language is a must. |
| C．An example of verbal-nonverbal mismatch. |
| D．The proper way to interact with old friends. |
| A．Express nervousness in their words. | B．Identify the types of body language. |
| C．Try to win the nervous student’s trust. | D．Respond to the nervous student’s request. |
| A．His sincere verbal expressions. | B．His bodily gestures of nervousness. |
| C．His positive attitude to nervousness. | D．His good manners in front of others. |
| A．Make a prediction. | B．Offer suggestions. |
| C．Present some facts. | D．Give some warnings. |
9 . Honesty is important. However, not everyone seems to think so. Lies and the hiding of truth are commonplace. But when examining the case for honesty, you realize it’s a better option. Here are the reasons why the value of honesty is beyond measure.
It is easier to understand.
You are more likely to get what you want. We often hide our true desires or preferences rather than speak out the truth. But when we are completely honest with ourselves and others, we encourage the right actions that lead to what we want.
It is better for your inner peace. Lying doesn’t come easy for most people. When you cheat others, it can feel like you are going against your values. Not only that, but as soon as you lie, you will live with the fear of that lie being discovered. That’s a mentally tiring thing.
| A．Telling the truth is simple. |
| B．It is the best way to prove your honesty. |
| C．Instead, it is so hard that no one can do it. |
| D．When we speak up, the other person is more likely to listen. |
| E．Honesty, though not always easy, doesn’t carry such burdens. |
| F．When you are clear in what you think, there’s no grey area for confusion. |
| G．Actually, it can be hard when you tell others what they don’t want to hear. |
10 . Everybody wants to hang out with fun people. Nobody wants to be classified as “boring”. It’s just that some of us need a little help in this department. Being fun to hang out with fun people starts with developing healthy self-esteem (自尊) , an adventurous spirit, and a kind personality.
Be confident.
Show interest. Listen and show kindness to others during conversation. If people think they can talk to you about anything, they’ll invite you to hang out more often.
Smile. Looking the part of a fun person is half the battle, and it’s not even really much of a battle because once you get the hang of it, smiling just becomes a reflex, and an attractive one at that.
Learn how to “hang out”.
| A．Be positive |
| B．Hold the conversation |
| C．Don’t control the conversation |
| D．Have a healthy sense of self or good self-esteem |
| E．Hanging out means the same thing to every person |
| F．All of this will make you an ideal person to hang out with |
| G．Hanging out can mean different things to different people |
