2 . I used to think I was a good person. I was caring to my friends, my partner, my family; I gave to charity and I volunteered. But when I started training to become a therapist (治疗师), I began to understand that however much we might like to think of ourselves as good people, we don’t actually know ourselves very well. I learned about how we might, without consciously realizing it, deny the feelings and motivations we consider to be bad, pushing them down into our unconscious and projecting them out on to others, so they become the bad people. I learned that deep in the human mind, alongside love and kindness, run currents of anger, need, greed, envy, destructiveness, superiority—whether we want to acknowledge them or not.
It was 22-year-old Boru who taught me what it really means to be a good grown up. We first spoke two years ago. He was unemployed, living with his parents, watching his friends’ lives progress. A good grown-up, he told me, is “someone who has his ducks in a row”—and that wasn’t him.
I also didn’t feel like the competent, confident grown-up I thought I should be—and neither did most of the adults I knew. I researched statistics about people hitting the traditional landmarks of adulthood later and later, if at all—from buying a home to getting married or starting a family. I recognized what made me feel like a bad grown-up: that I’ll sit with a broken fridge rather than call an engineer to repair it.
Then I saw Boru again. He told me how, over two years, he’d found a job he loves, rented a flat with a friend. He’s now cycling round the world, having adventures that will keep him strong for the rest of his life. So what changed? “You start to have those conversations with yourself, and you become more of an honest person. I don’t feel like I’m hiding from anything anymore, because I’m not hiding from myself.”
I think growing up must involve finding your own way to have those conversations. Boru does it on his bike, I do it in psychoanalysis, others I spoke to do it while cooking or playing music. That, for Boru, and for me, is what it means to “have his ducks in a row”.
1. What does the first paragraph imply about understanding ourselves?
| A．Recognizing our positive traits is enough for growth. |
| B．Our understanding of our motives and feelings is accurate. |
| C．True self-awareness means accepting both good and bad sides. |
| D．Ignoring our negative traits does not affect our self-perception. |
2. What critical lesson did the author learn from Boru about being a good grown-up?
| A．It involves having a clear career path and financial stability. |
| B．It requires constant self-improvement and education. |
| C．It means being employed and living independently. |
| D．It is like a journey of self-discovery and honesty. |
3. What does the author identify as a reason for feeling like an inadequate adult?
| A．Escaping basic responsibilities. |
| B．Delaying reaching traditional life milestones. |
| C．Comparing personal achievements to others. |
| D．Investigating changing patterns of adult life. |
4. Which of the following might be the best title of the passage?
| A．Why Hide Harms |
| B．How to Be Better Adults |
| C．Why Growing up Matters |
| D．How to Have Effective Conversations |
