10 . Nowadays, we live in a strict and judgmental world where people are quick to point out the faults of others and yet seem to ignore their own ones. Some misguided souls believe they have a moral duty to help you be a better person telling you what a failure you really are.

If you’re the one placing criticism upon others, please stop. Make a conscious decision, rather than focus on the negative aspect of a person’s performance or attitudes, and you can offer helpful suggestions. If I’m painting a living room and making a mess in doing so, I’d have any husband say to me, “This is a tough job. Can I offer a suggestion that might make it easier for you?” rather than have him point out what a careless painter I am.

If you’re on the receiving end of criticism, the “OK” response is a perfect solution. When someone comments negatively on a task you’re doing, the natural response is to defend and attack. However, this approach is rarely effective as it puts both parties on the defensive. It diffuses a potentially explosive situation. It’s important to keep calm and listen without feeling, to be an objective observer. There is much that one can learn from a negative review. You can ask yourself: Could I have done better, and been more thoughtful? Did I give 100% of myself to the task at hand? Is there any truth in what the other person says? If so, how can I improve?

In any event, one should remember the saying, “Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning (指责) and you will not be condemned.” One can learn to be “OK” with criticism and not allow it to negatively impact his or her relationship with the other party. Let it go and that will be “OK”.