1 . We’ve all been there: in a lift, in line at the bank or on an airplane, surrounded by people who are, like us, deeply focused on their smartphones or, worse, struggling with the uncomfortable silence.
What’s the problem? It’s possible that we all have compromised conversational intelligence. It’s more likely that none of us start a conversation because it’s awkward and challenging, or we think it’s annoying and unnecessary. But the next time you find yourself among strangers, consider that small talk is worth the trouble. Experts say it’s an invaluable social practice that results in big benefits.
Dismissing small talk as unimportant is easy, but we can’t forget that deep relationships wouldn’t
even exist if it weren’t for casual conversation. Small talk is the grease(润滑剂) for social communication, says Bernardo Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast. ＂Almost every great love story and each big business deal begins with small talk,＂ he explains. ＂The key to successful small talk is learning how to connect with others, not just communicate with them.＂
In a 2014 study, Elizabeth Dunn, associate professor of psychology at UBC, invited people on their way into a coffee shop. One group was asked to seek out an interaction(互动) with its waiter; the other, to speak only when necessary. The results showed that those who chatted with their server reported significantly higher positive feelings and a better coffee shop experience. ＂It’s not that talking to the waiter is better than talking to your husband,＂ says Dunn. ＂But interactions with peripheral(边缘的) members of our social network matter for our well-being also.＂
Dunn believes that people who reach out to strangers feel a significantly greater sense of belonging, a bond with others. Carducci believes developing such a sense of belonging starts with small talk. ＂Small talk is the basis of good manners,＂ he says.
1. What phenomenon is described in the first paragraph?| A．Addiction to smartphones. |
| B．Inappropriate behaviours in public places. |
| C．Absence of communication between strangers. |
| D．Impatience with slow service. |
| A．Showing good manners. | B．Relating to other people. |
| C．Focusing on a topic. | D．Making business deals. |
| A．It improves family relationships. | B．It raises people’s confidence. |
| C．It matters as much as a formal talk. | D．It makes people feel good. |
| A．Conversation Counts | B．Ways of Making Small Talk |
| C．Benefits of Small Talk | D．Uncomfortable Silence |
2 . The word listen, as is shown in Longman Dictionary, means paying attention to what someone is saying or to a sound that you can hear. Listening is definitely an important skill in communication. “When people talk, listen completely.” Those words of Ernest Hemingway might be a pretty good guiding principle for many managers. After all, people like being listened to.
Some firms use a technique known as a “listening circle”. In such a circle, only one person can talk about the issues they face at a time and there is no interruption. A study cited in the Harvard Business Review found that employees who had taken part in a listening circle subsequently suffered less social anxiety and had fewer worries about work-related matters than those who did not.
Listening has been critical to the career of Richard Mullender, who was a hostage (人质) negotiator, dealing with everything from suicide interventions to international kidnaps (绑架). He defines listening as “the identification, selection and interpretation of the key words”. It is crucial to all effective communication.
Plenty of people think that good listening is about nodding your head or keeping eye contact. But that is not really listening, Mr Mullender argues. A good listener is always looking for facts, emotions and indications of the other person’s values. Another important point to bear in mind is that, when you talk, you are not listening. The listener’s focus should be on analysis.
Of course, a listener needs to speak occasionally. One approach is to make an assessment of what the other person is telling you and then check it with them. For example, you can check with the other person by saying “It seems to me that what you want is…”. That gives the other party a sense that they are being understood. The fundamental aim is to build up a relationship so the other person likes you and trusts you, Mr Mullender says.
1. What can we learn about a “listening circle”?| A．A listening circle focuses on personal issues. |
| B．In a listening circle, a speaker won’t be interrupted. |
| C．A listening circle increases worries about work-related matters. |
| D．Employees get rid of social anxiety by taking part in a listening circle. |
| A．Critical. | B．Opposed. | C．Cautious. | D．Favorable. |
| A．To be liked and trusted by the other person. |
| B．To check our assessments with the other person. |
| C．To make assessments of what the other person is saying. |
| D．To have a sense of being understood by the other person. |
| A．The Analysis of a Listening Circle |
| B．The Tricks of Successful Listening |
| C．The Misunderstanding of Listening |
| D．The Necessity of Effective Listening |
3 . When romantic partners argue over things like finances, jealousy, or other interpersonal issues, they tend to employ their current feelings as fuel for a heated argument. But thinking about the future helps overcome relationship conflicts, according to a University of Waterloo study just published online in Social Psychological and Personality Science. Alex Huynh, a doctoral candidate in psychology is the lead author of the study, which he published with Igor Grossmann from the University of Waterloo, and Daniel Yang from Yale University.
Previous research has shown that third-perspective reasoning can be a positive strategy for reconciliation (调解) of interpersonal struggles. Huynh and his collaborators investigated whether similar benefit can be induced by simply thinking about the future. Study participants were instructed to reflect on a recent conflict with a romantic partner or a close friend. One group of participants were then asked to describe how they would feel about the conflict one year in the future, while another group was asked to describe how they feel in the present.
The team examined participants’ written responses through a text-analysis program for their use of pronouns — such as I, me, she, he. These choices of pronouns were used to capture participants’ focus on the feelings and behaviour of those involved in the conflict. Written responses were also examined for forgiveness and reinterpreting the conflict more positively, both of which implied the participants’ use of reasoning strategies.
The researchers found that envisioning future relationship affected both participants’ focus on their feelings, and their reasoning strategies. As a result, participants reported more positivity about their relationship altogether, especially when study participants extended their thinking about the relationship a year into the future.
“Our study demonstrates that adopting a future-oriented perspective in the context of a relationship conflict — reflecting on how one might feel a year from now — may be a valuable coping tool for one’s psychological happiness and relationship well-being,” said Huynh.
1. What do romantic partners do in face of most disagreements?| A．They lose faith in their future. | B．They focus on their present feelings. |
| C．They look forward to a fierce conflict. | D．They care more about financial problems. |
| A．Caused. | B．Explained. |
| C．Reduced. | D．Improved. |
| A．All the study participants described how they felt both in the present and in the future. |
| B．Study participants described their recent relationship with their romantic partners or friends. |
| C．A text-analysis program was employed to examine participants’ use of negative words. |
| D．The reasoning strategies in participants’ written responses were well worthy of note. |
| A．You have a year to solve your interpersonal problems! |
| B．Thinking about future is essential for relationship maintenance! |
| C．Your current feelings are the real cause of your heated arguments! |
| D．Beneficial reasoning is a positive strategy for reconciliation! |
4 . No matter what profession or occupation you hold you will need to work with others to meet your goals. Group work is a great way to showcase your own skills while getting help from your teammates in areas where you might not be as strong.
Clarify the team expectations so everyone is on the same page.
Direct your concern toward the problem, not your teammates. Don’t accuse or blame anyone on your team for causing the conflict, even if you believe they did.
Focus on the success of the group, not your personal success. When you’re on a team, everyone’s success depends on each member working toward a common goal.
| A．Make sure you do an equal share of the work. |
| B．Volunteer to take on extra work when necessary. |
| C．Treat the team’s accomplishments as a group success. |
| D．Our guide will show you how to boost your teamwork skills. |
| E．State the issue you’re having, then listen to what everyone has to say. |
| F．Instead, keep all of your comments focused on the issue and how your team can solve it. |
| G．This can include explaining the expectations or asking questions if you find them unclear. |
5 . Have you ever struggled to understand how someone else feels? Building up your empathy (同理心) skills helps you connect with your friends.
What is empathy?
Empathy is a kind of capability that lets you step into someone else’s shoes and then figure out how they are feeling. For instance, if you can see your friend is upset after losing a football match and you support them by telling them some warm and motivating words, you are showing empathy. Miranda McKeamey set up an organization called EmpathyLab that builds empathy through reading.
Scientists say empathy isn’t something you are born with, it’s a skill you can acquire through learning. One way you can do this is by active listening. When someone is talking to you, listen closely and respond in a way that shows you understand their situations and emotions thoroughly. Reading, advocated by EmpathyLab, is also a great way to boost empathy, since stories can take you inside someone else’s mind and show you the world through their eves and emotions.
Put empathy into action.
| A．How can you have more empathy? |
| B．Who need empathy most in daily life? |
| C．Besides, it also spreads kindness and inspires them to do the same. |
| D．To find out more conducts you can do, log in EmpathyLab.UK.com. |
| E．Only by putting empathy into action can you relate to others’ bad lives. |
| F．She believes even small, supportive actions can have a positive impact. |
| G．Miranda recommends going into the thick of people’s lives to show empathy. |
6 . Have you ever been in mid-conversation with someone, when you look over and find them standing in the same position as you or holding the same facial expression? It may seem like they have consciously copied you, but it is much more likely that it is the chameleon (变色龙) effect at play.
The chameleon effect is the unconscious imitation of another person’s gestures or behavior. Just as a chameleon attempts to match any environment’s colors, people acquire the behavior of others to bring them closer together and help make their interactions smooth.
The chameleon effect was confirmed in an experiment by psychologists John Bargh and Tanya Chartrand in 1999. The part of their experiment included 78 people, who each spoke with an experimenter. During the test, Bargh and Chartrand studied whether participants would copy the actions of someone they hadn’t met before, like moving the foot and touching the face. The second part measured the impact that copying someone has on the person being imitated.
In the first stage, participants increased their face touching by 20% and their foot movement by 50% while in conversation about a photograph with the experimenter. The individuals weren’t aware of what they were being studied for, and the photograph was used to catch their attention to insure unconscious acts. The second stage involved half of the participants being copied, and then rating the likability of the experimenter. The results, showed that those who were imitated scored the experimenter higher. It has shown that when someone copies our behavior, we develop more positive feelings about them. These interactions could be a person unconsciously willing to be liked, and forming a moment of connection.
The main reasons behind humans’ imitation are positive. However, when people carry this chameleon effect to the extreme, they can lose their sense of self. Those who change their entire personalities in different groups often go undetected. But more common signs of the chameleon effect are easier to notice. Next time you are in a social gathering, take a look around and you might just see some chameleons for yourself.
1. Why do people imitate others’ behavior?| A．To show admiration for others. | B．To adapt to the surroundings. |
| C．To establish a connection with others. | D．To attract others’ attention. |
| A．By directing their attention to a photo. | B．By keeping an eye on their actions. |
| C．By telling them the purpose of the study. | D．By evaluating the impacts of imitation. |
| A．People tend to like those who imitate their behavior. |
| B．Too much of the chameleon effect can be beneficial. |
| C．People imitating others are not easy to be detected. |
| D．The copied movements help people to feel relaxed. |
| A．Students adopt teachers’ accents for fun after class. |
| B．People change their habits to please others on purpose. |
| C．A comedian copies a celebrity vividly on stage. |
| D．A husband and his wife share similar behaviors over time. |
7 . We are often reminded of Oscar Wilde’s saying that “sarcasm (讽刺) is the lowest form of wit” while forgetting the following “but the highest form of intelligence”. Parents or teachers of teenagers, in particular, may find it hard to believe that it is actually a sign of a flexible and inventive mind.
Yet that is exactly what psychologists and neuroscientists have been arguing. They have found that sarcasm requires the brain to jump through numerous hoops (圈) to arrive at a correct interpretation, requiring more brainpower than literal statements.
If you’re still not convinced that your teen’s love of sarcasm is a thing worth celebrating, consider a recent experiment from Li Huang, a psychologist at Insead’s business school in Fontainebleau, France.
In the experiment, participants were presented with a candle, a pack of matches and a box of tacks (图钉). Their task was to find a way to attach the candle to the wall so that it could burn without dripping wax on the floor. The correct answer is to empty the box of tacks, pin it to the wall, and then place the candle inside a solution that will only come to mind if you are prepared to think about the functions of each object.
Before working on the problem, some participants were asked to recall a sarcastic interaction, while others remembered a sincere or neutral exchange. Quite amazingly, the sarcastic memories more than doubled the participants’ success rate, from around 30% to more than 60%.
It may initially feel like a shock when parents notice their children using sarcasm——a sign, perhaps, of a more adult-like cynicism (愤世嫉俗) that conflicts with their impressions of their children’s youthful innocence. Parents may feel particularly helpless when dealing with a teenager who uses it in almost all interactions, as if they struggle. to express any sincere emotions.
But should we blame teens for applying this handy tool? Perhaps it’s better seen as the useful practice of a vital ability. Penny Pexman, a psycholinguist at the University of Calgary agrees and it is for this reason that she has produced Sydney Gets Sarcastic, a storybook that provides multiple examples of sarcasm and the reasons it was used. In a recent experiment on 5-to 6-year-olds, she showed that children who read and discussed the story found it easier to detect sarcastic statements in a following test.
1. Why does the author refer to Oscar Wilde’s words at the beginning of the text?| A．To give a definition of sarcasm. |
| B．To stress the significance of sarcasm. |
| C．To express his concern about sarcasm. |
| D．To show the misunderstanding of sarcasm. |
| A．They tended to stay long with participants. |
| B．They offered clues to the problem to be solved. |
| C．They could force participants to face problems. |
| D．They contributed greatly to participant’s success. |
| A．It shows their innocence. |
| B．It helps them express emotions. |
| C．It is not appropriate for their age. |
| D．It allows them to behave like adults. |
| A．To urge parents to learn from their children’s sarcasm. |
| B．To teach parents how to respond to their children’s sarcasm. |
| C．To show parents the positive side of their children’s sarcasm. |
| D．To remind parents to teach their children to use words properly. |
8 . What do work relationships, personal relationships and diplomacy have in common? First, they best function when based on purely positive energy.
I developed a more remarkable ability to relate to the people in my life after taking multiple courses from an organization. The organization offers advice far more than anything I’ve ever experienced. As an example of the benefits of their teachings, my decade conflict with my mom has turned into loving relationship. This turnaround was critical since she is now in her late 70s. This renewed love was worth my investment in training or the organization. Had I continued down my former path, I believe my life today would be one of suffering.
They teach never to criticize, condemn, or complain. I have applied these principles to great success in all my relationships. And the rewards have been astounding, beyond my imagination. But in my role of management at work, I need to learn how to combine authority with positivity.
Recently, however, I found a solution. In other words, I discovered the secret to maintaining authority in the workplace while maintaining pure positivity. For the most part, I found it in Napoleon Hill’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. I found many of the same principles taught by the organization, but the guidelines were less optimistic in Hill’s book. For instance, Napoleon Hill’s advice on criticizing without offending suggests we start by mentioning the positives about the person and then follow up with criticism.
But, of course, the organization advises against all complaints and I’ve concluded that work relationships, too, shouldn’t have any criticisms. Instead, work relationships should focus on another of Napoleon Hill’s strategies: focusing only on the positives while using suggestions instead of criticism. In other words, say, “That looks great. Do you think this addition might make it even better?” instead of “Here’s what that is lacking.”
1. Why did the author take several courses from an organization?| A．To mainly learn management skills. |
| B．To enrich his technological knowledge. |
| C．To deal with relationships in a positive way. |
| D．To become more sociable as a successful diplomat. |
| A．It did not come as a surprise. |
| B．It had little to do with the courses. |
| C．It was the result of his mother’s great efforts. |
| D．It was very important considering her old age. |
| A．Satisfactory. | B．Unexpected. | C．Unsurprising. | D．Imaginary. |
| A．To show how powerful criticism is. |
| B．To suggest replacing complaints with criticism. |
| C．To show how to use suggestions instead of criticism. |
| D．To advise readers to combine suggestions with criticism. |
9 . Are You a Prisoner of Perfection?
Do you struggle for a goal that is beyond your reach?
Shame and fear are often the hidden drivers of perfectionism. We believe that if we can fashion a perfectly polished personality, flash our intelligence, and perfect our humour, then no one can hurt us with criticism and we’ll win respect and approval.
Perfectionism keeps us leaning toward the future. We’re constantly evaluating ourselves in order to do better.
Being human, perfection is impossible.
| A．Do you hold an idealized vision that is impossible to realize? |
| B．A cure to perfectionism is to make room for our human shortcomings. |
| C．Do you fear that others will be horrified by what you judge about yourself? |
| D．The addiction to staying perfect protects us from any sign of being imperfect. |
| E．There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do our best and self-correcting along the way. |
| F．People who are addicted to perfection are often isolated, even if they seem outgoing and popular. |
| G．By accepting ourselves as we are and doing our best, we begin to rid the shame that drives perfectionism. |
10 . When someone you care about has suffered a serious health event or is dealing with a life-threatening illness, it can be difficult to know what to say or do.
Offer your support. Your friend or loved one may be unwilling to ask for help, but it’s support from people like you that can make all the difference in their recovery. Offer to help with a specific task, even if it’s simply to sit with them during or after treatment.
Listen. When you talk to someone with a serious illness, it’s natural to feel awkward or not know what to say.
Stay connected.
| A．Encourage your loved one to keep calm. |
| B．Some illnesses can involve long-term treatment. |
| C．But often what really counts is to listen to the person. |
| D．Educate yourself about the illness but don’t give advice. |
| E．All you need to do is to present your determined attitude. |
| F．Your loved one is likely to experience some painful feelings. |
| G．Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is to be there. |
