1 . On her first day of school, a six-year-old girl stands outside, fearfully clinging to her mother’s leg.     1     As the girl learns she will be separated from her parents to enter a new building filled with new people, she begins to cry. During the first couple of weeks in her new classroom, the girl does not volunteer to speak when her teacher asks the class questions. At break, she stands by a wall, watching the other children running around the playground.     2     She can be heard laughing and chatting, louder and braver than at school. As the school environment becomes more familiar, her behaviours there will more closely resemble her behaviours at home. This first-grader is shy.

    3     Although definitions vary, shyness is most often characterised by cautiousness or fear in new social situations. In many places, especially in North America, sociability and liveliness are positively valued, and children are encouraged to speak up in different contexts, connect with their peers and trust their teachers.

It’s been estimated however, that as many as 10 to 15 percent of children consistently exhibit shyness, and we know that the tendency to display fear and avoidance in the presence of unfamiliarity is found across species, across cultures and across generations. The ubiquity (无处不在) of shyness suggests that it likely possesses some adaptive functions.     4    

Shy children might be more likely to detect social threats in their environment compared with non-shy children.     5     For example, a shy child might more readily notice an unkind peer or bully. She might not immediately offer personal information about herself and engage in careful decision-making about whether to become friends with the person. These factors might help shield shy children from social conflict and negative social evaluations.

2 . Business etiquette in Singapore

Be polite, professional and patient at all times. This lead to good relationships which you will need in order to do business in Singapore.

    1     And there are rules of etiquette（礼节）that you must follow. Status vey important, and the eldest person in the group is always respected.

You will need to plan ahead.     2     Nowadays appointments can be made by phone or email, although writing to the person concerned is the most formal way to organize a meeting. Many businesses close during Chinese New Year.     3    .

Make sure you arrive on time for business meetings. This is a matter of respect. If you are going as a group, make sure you are lied up cording to your status. Likewise, wait to be seated.

    4     Only use personal names or nicknames（昵称）when you are invited to do so, or when you have known someone for along time.

Business cards are exchanged the beginning of meetings and are always handed out so that the writing faces the receiver. Etiquette demands that you hold the card with both hands and examine it carefully; before putting the card into our card case, smile in order to show that you have noted who the other person is.     5     Make sure your own business cards are in perfect condition before you hand them out.

Romantic Attraction

Sometimes, it seems we are attracted towards people romantically in a puzzling manner. We see someone and our romantic side bursts out. However, it is not a mystery to science and people who study sociology. There are definite causes as to why people become romantically attracted to each other. These factors are, similarity, communication, and honesty.

Though people often say opposites attract, similarity often connects individuals in a romantic way. In fact, based on research done by the University of Colorado Boulder, we tend to choose partners who have a similar DNA to ours. Of course we cannot examine the DNA of others readily, but we can naturally “feel” if people are a genetic match for us.

Communication is another essential factor in the romantic attraction way. If we feel a deep connection to someone through the ease of talking with them, we are much more likely to be attracted to that person. It is difficult to be romantically involved with someone you can barely communicate with. And as a side note, there are people we are not attracted to each other in appearance, but after communicating with them for some time, we suddenly become romantically interested in them.

Friends often connect through noticing the honesty of others, but this also lends to romantic attraction. According to Kelly Campbell, PhD, “Chemistry occurs most often between people who are down-to-earth and sincere. This is because if a person is comfortable with themselves, they are better able to express their true self to the world, which makes it easier to get to know them, even if perspectives on important matters differed”. This adds to the perspective that easy communication between people contributes to romantic attraction.

6 . “There is nothing noble (高尚的) in being superior (优秀的) to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” —— Ernest Hemingway

As Hemingway says, self-improvement is a noble cause.     1     Much of who we are is determined by how we relate with others around us. When we seek to improve ourselves, we can also make our relationships with others better.

    2     If you have a good self-image, then others are likely to relate to you in a positive way. When people see a self-controlled and confident individual, they are likely to be affected in a positive way. And this can result in a more optimistic and constructive relationship.

Only when you have accepted who you are can you grow. If you continuously fight against yourself, you won’t have the emotional energy you need to better yourself. If you wish to get on with people better, then you may start by accepting yourself.     3    

If you are on a personal path that is going upwards, then you are likely to find a friend or partner who is also seeking to better themselves and their circumstances.     4    

Focusing on your good qualities and attempting to protect and improve these characteristics will help you become a better person.     5     When you stop damaging who you are, you are likely to avoid ruining relationships and this can lead to longer and more meaningful connections with others.

Is Small Talk Necessary?

What’s the first thing you do when you enter a crowded room? You probably look around for a familiar face. When you can’t find one, you have two choices: you can stand alone, or you can walk up and speak to someone that you don’t know.

Starting a conversation with a stranger, though, is often uncomfortable and can be a little scary. Yet as you go through life, you’re sure to encounter strangers in many different situations, when a need to connect with others will hopefully outweigh your fears. In order to prepare, it helps to learn the art of small talk.

Small talk is the beginning stage of a casual conversation, which usually takes place between strangers or casual acquaintances. With small talk, two or more people search for common interests and points of connection. If one is discovered, the conversation usually begins to flow more naturally, often resulting in deeper discussion.

Mastering a few techniques will allow you to enter a room full of strangers with confidence.

When you walk up to a group, notice anyone trying to make eye contact with you because this is often a sign that the person is interested in talking. Begin by introducing yourself, and then, you should begin with one of three topics: talk about yourself, the other person or something you can both observe, like the weather.

Another way to begin a conversation is with a compliment. Your praise of someone’s scarf might lead to a discussion about favorite places to shop.

Radio host Terry Gross, who has interviewed thousands of people over the years, says one opening request works for her every time: “Tell me about yourself.” This approach gets the ball rolling because people enjoy talking about themselves.

Though small talk takes practice, it’s worth the effort and it’s the stimulus that can lead to deeper conversations.

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