1 . Initial conversations can have a huge impact on how relationships develop over time. People are often stuck in the impressions they think they might have made the minute they finish speaking with someone for the first time: “Did they like me or were they just being polite?” “Were they deep in thought or deeply bored?”

To find out whether these worries are necessary, we have conducted nearly 10 years of research. In our studies, participants in the UK talked with someone they had never met before. Afterward, they were asked how much they liked their conversation partner and how much they believed that their conversation partner liked them. This allowed us to compare how much people believed they were liked to how much they were actually liked.

Time and time again, we found that people left their conversations with negative feelings about the impression they made. That is, people systematically underestimate how much their conversation partners like them and enjoy their company — a false belief we call the “liking gap”.

This bias (偏见) may seem like something that would occur only in initial interactions, but its effects extend far beyond a first impression. Surprisingly, the liking gap can constantly affect a variety of relationships, including interactions with coworkers, long after the initial conversations have taken place. Having a larger liking gap is associated with being less willing to ask workmates for help, less willing to provide workmates with open and honest feedback, and less willing to work on another project together.

There are numerous strategies to minimize your biased feelings. One place to start is shifting your focus of attention. Try to direct your attention to your conversation partner, be genuinely curious about them, ask them more questions, and really listen to their answers. The more you’re zeroed in on the other person, and the less you’re focused on yourself, the better your conversation will be and the less your mind will turn to all the things you think you didn’t do well.

2 . You might have heard of the expression “a guilty pleasure”—maybe it’s the chocolate bar you buy on the way home from work, or the new clothes that you don’t really need.     1     . Perhaps we don’t feel we deserved it, or we don’t think it was a responsible way to spend our money. But should we feel like this? Do we really have to feel guilty about treating ourselves?

Perhaps not. Psychologists have suggested that buying things for yourself can make you feel better as it provides an opportunity to take control of your situation.    2     . It may be that as well as lifting your mood, when you buy a treat, you might just be looking after yourself.

Of course, there are also examples of people turning to destructive behaviour when faced with stressful circumstances. People might spend money that they don’t have or turn to dangerous addictions. Psychologist Leon Seltzer considers the difference between self-indulgence and self-nurturing.    3     , while self-nurturing is taking responsible decisions to satisfy our needs and take care of ourselves in ways that don’t have a significant impact.

    4    . So, many universities publish guides with advice for coping with exam stress. Reflecting the difference between self-indulgence and self-nurture, they recommend rewarding yourself for your efforts, doing things that you enjoy and are good at so that you can feel accomplishment.    5     . Thus, perhaps, as long as we make responsible decisions, we shouldn’t feel guilty about our guilty pleasures.

In a refreshing shift from conventional methods, some post-90 teachers in China are using memes (表情包), cute comments, and personalized feedback in their grading practices,     1     (receive) praise from parents and students alike. This innovative approach in education is reshaping the way students receive feedback on     2     (they) exams and assignments, making the learning process more engaging and enjoyable.

Gone are the days of impersonal and serious     3     (comment). Teachers are now using more conversational language in their evaluations, addressing students as “you” or “dear” instead of the formal “the students”. This change in tone creates a more personal and direct connection, fostering a positive learning environment.

The use of memes and hand-drawn images in marking papers     4     (be) not just about adding a touch of fun; it serves as a motivational tool for students. This trend has caught the attention of the online community,     5     many expressing their wish to have such creative and supportive teachers

    6     adoption of memes and personalized comments in grading represents a significant shift in educational practices in China. It not only aids in reducing the stress and pressure     7     (associate) with academic performance but also builds a     8     (strong) relationship between teachers and students. This method reflects a broader movement toward more empathetic and student-centered teaching     9     the focus is on encouragement and individual growth rather than solely on grades.

As these innovative practices gain     10     (popular), they promise to transform the educational experience for students, making learning more enjoyable and less frightening.

5 . Your social circle may be the reason you are overweight, a study has suggested. Experts have warned that obesity can spread through communities like a “social contagion (接触传染)”

Researchers studied hundreds of military families—who can’t choose where they lived—across the US. Their results revealed if you move to an area with a high rate of obesity. it increases your risk of becoming obese, too. For every percentage-point increase in the local obesity rate, the chances a person would be overweight or obese increased by up to six percent.

The researchers said people adopt behaviors of others subconsciously. Dr Ashlesha Datar and colleagues recruited families of US Army personnel at 38 military bases across the country. Their rates of obesity were reflective of the national rates. The study showed when assigned to bases in countries with higher rates of obesity, residents were more likely to become overweight or obese. For every single percentage-point increase in obesity rate of local people, the chances that a teenager would be overweight or obese went up by four to six percent, while the odds that a parent would be obese went up by five percent. The longer the families lived there, the more likely they were to see the weight pile on.

Dr Datar said, “Social contagion in obesity means that if more people around you are obese, then that may increase your own chances of becoming obese. Subconsciously, you are affected by what people around you are doing. We accounted for things that researchers in this field typically measure and found that shared environments did not play a critical role in explaining our results.”

Co-author Dr Nancy Nicosia said, “Although we could not measure social contagion directly, our findings support a role for social contagion in obesity.”

Obesity can be caused by many variables, and the association has been challenging for scientists to explain. One possibility is that people with similar interests and backgrounds tend to locate in similar areas. Another explanation may be that people are all influenced by the shared environment, such as opportunities for exercising and healthy eating. A third explanation may be that obesity is transmitted through social influence.

6 . During my first year in China, some friends who’d been around a little longer than me introduced me to the concept of “House Plant Syndrome”.

Imagine you are at a party at someone’s house. You’re hanging out when suddenly a house plant starts talking to you. Now, there are several ways you could respond to this. Perhaps you would ignore it. Perhaps you would ask the person next to you if they heard it as well. Perhaps you would try talking back to the house plant and engaging it in conversation.

I am that house plant.

The story of the talking house plant explains what can happen here when a white person unexpectedly speaks Chinese. It’s especially true with Chinese who haven’t met foreigners before.

Over time I learned to deal with House Plant Syndrome by talking without being looked at. I visited a restaurant at least once a week. Waitresses there would often stare blankly at me, not even hearing what I was saying when I tried to ask for things. So I leaned to speak clearly while looking in another direction. Without the “foreigners don’t speak Mandarin” filter, the waitresses heard and understood me easily and responded immediately.

A few years later, as my Mandarin became more fluent, and my foreign accent diminished (减少), people could hardly realize I was actually a house plant. This happened a lot with taxis. A lot of the time after I called a taxi, I would get a call from the driver, who would confirm my location. This meant I had a short conversation with the driver long before they saw me. Then I would get in the taxi, say where I wanted to go, and we would drive off in silence. Twenty seconds later, he would burst out “You speak such good Mandarin: I thought you were Chinese!”

I am rarely seen as a talking house plant anymore. The more I work on my accent and fluency, the less I am seen as a house plant. Definitely a good reason to keep working on my language!

9 . It’s no secret that reading good news feels a lot better than reading bad news. Like, would you rather bite into a lemon, or sip on a fresh glass of lemonade?

    1    The world is full of problems and conflicts and we need to stay informed and alert (警觉的) to what’s going on around us. While reading traditional, more negative news is important, consuming good news is also part of staying informed.     2    And it also brings meaningful benefits, like reduced stress and anxiety, higher rates of engagement, community building skills, and inspiration for creating a better world. Plus, knowing what to look for in the good news landscape is a key part of improving our media literacy skills and being thoughtful news consumers.

In fact, good news, known as solutions journalism, is becoming more popular, as publishers and news stations discover the benefits of sharing positive stories. Good Good Good is one of them.     3     A team of reporters and editors there work daily to deliver stories that make readers feel hopeful and equipped to do more good with possible solutions.

“If it bleeds, it leads.” has long been a saying used in the media to describe how news stories about violence, death and destruction draw readers’ attention.       4     The thing is, however, there’s also good stuff out there—the delightful and kind parts of humanity. “Beautiful stories are happening worldwide.    5    When you do find them, the world can suddenly feel like a very different place. Good news is a vital part of how we learn about the world and solving the world’s problems.” Hervey, one of Good Good Good’s editors said.

10 . Is forgiveness against our human nature? To answer our question, we need to ask a further question: What is the essence of our humanity? For the sake of simplicity, people consider two distinctly different views of humanity. The first view involves dominance and power. In an early paper on the psychology of forgiveness, Droll (1984) made the interesting claim that humans’ essential nature is more aggressive than forgiving allows. Those who forgive are against their basic nature, much to their harm. In his opinion, forgivers are compromising their well-being as they offer mercy to others, who might then take advantage of them.

The second view involves the theme of cooperation, mutual respect, and even love as the basis of who we are as humans. Researchers find that to fully grow as human beings, we need both to receive love from and offer love to others. Without love, our connections with a wide range of individuals in our lives can fall apart. Even common sense strongly suggests that the will to power over others does not make for harmonious interactions. For example, how well has slavery worked as a mode of social harmony?

From this second viewpoint of who we are as humans, forgiveness plays a key role in the biological and psychological integrity of both individuals and communities because one of the outcomes of forgiveness, shown through scientific studies, is the decreasing of hatred and the restoration of harmony. Forgiveness can break the cycle of anger. At least to the extent the people from whom you are estranged accept your love and forgiveness and are prepared to make the required adjustments. Forgiveness can heal relationships and reconnect people.

As an important note, when we take a Classical philosophical perspective, that of Aristotle, we see the distinction between potentiality and actuality. We are not necessarily born with the capacity to forgive, but instead with the potential to learn about it and to grow in our ability to forgive. The actuality of forgiving, its actual appropriation in conflict situations, develops with practice.