Who’s in control of your life? Who is pulling your     1    ? For the majority of us, it’s other people—society, colleagues, friends, family or our religious community. We learned this way of     2     when we were very young, of course. We were brainwashed. We discovered that feeling important and feeling accepted was a nice experience and so we learned to do everything we could to make other people like us. As Oscar Wilde puts it. “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a(n)    3    .”

So when people tell us how wonderful we are, it makes us feel good. We long for this good feeling like a drug—we are     4     to it and seek it out wherever we can. Therefore, we are so eager for the approval of others that we live unhappy and     5     lives, failing to do the things we really want to do. Just as drug addicts and alcoholics live worsened lives to keep getting their fix, we worsen our own existence to get our own constant fix of approval.

But just as with any drug there is a price to pay. The price of the approval drug is freedom—the freedom to be ourselves. The truth is that we cannot control what other people think. People have their own agenda, and they come with their own     6     and, in the end, they’re more interested in themselves than in you. Furthermore, if we try to live by the opinions of others, we will be building our life on     7     sand. Everyone has a different way of thinking, and people change their opinions all the time. The person who tries to please everyone will only end up getting exhausted and probably     8     no one in the process.

So how can we take back control? I think there’s only one way—make a(n)    9     decision to stop caring what other people think. We should guide ourselves by means of a set of values—not values     10     from the outside by others, but innate values which come from within. If we are driven by these values and not by the changing opinions and value systems of others, we will live a more authentic, effective, purposeful and happy life.

5 . At the age of twelve years, the human body is at its most vigorous. It has yet to reach its full size and strength, and its owner his or her full intelligence; but at this age the likelihood of death is least. Earlier, we were infants and young children, and consequently more vulnerable (易受伤害的), later, we shall undergo a progressive loss of our vigor and resistance which, though unnoticeable at first, will finally become so steep that we can live no longer, however well we look after ourselves, and however well society, and our doctors, look after us.

This decline in vigor with the passing of time is called ageing. It is one of the most unpleasant discoveries which we all make that we must decline in this way, that if we escape wars, accidents and disease we shall eventually “die of old age”, and that this happens at a rate which differs little from person to person, so that there are heavy odds in favor of our dying between the ages of sixty-five and eighty. Some of us will die sooner, a few will live longer—on into a ninth or tenth decade. But the chances are against it, and there is a virtual limit on how long we can hope to remain alive, however lucky and robust we are.

Normal people tend to forget this process unless and until they are reminded of it. We are so familiar with the fact that ma ages, that people have for years assumed that the process of losing vigor with time, of becoming more likely to die the older we get, was something self-evident, like the cooling of a hot kettle or the wearing-out of a pair of shoes. They have also assumed that all animals, and probably other organisms such as trees, or even the universe itself, must in the nature of things “wear out”.

Most animals we commonly observe do in fact age as we do, if given the chance to live long enough; and mechanical systems like a wound watch, or the sun, do in fact run out of energy in accordance with the second law of thermodynamics (whether the whole universe does so is a moot point at present). But these are not analogous (类似的)to what happens when man ages. A run-down watch is still a watch and can be rewound. An old watch, by contrast, becomes so worn and unreliable that it eventually is not worth mending. But a watch could never repair itself —it does not consist of living parts, only of metal, which wears away by friction. We could, at one time, repair ourselves—well enough, at least, to overcome all but the most instantly fatal illnesses and accidents. Between twelve and eighty years we gradually lose this power, an illness which at twelve would knock us over, at eighty can knock us out, and into our grave. If we could stay as vigorous as we are at twelve, it would take about 700 years for half of us to die, and another 700 for the survivors to be reduced by half again.

6 . Studies show that older people tend to remember the positive things in life rather than the negative things, while younger people remember the positive and negative equally well. The dominant psychological theory to explain this is that older people are aware of their limited time left, so they _______ positive emotional experiences. But about a decade ago, I worked with biologist Robert Trivers on his idea that there was a(n) _______ basis for older people's increased positive outlook. Our research took us in the fascinating direction of exploring how the body _______ its energy.

When our _______ needed more energy than usual perhaps while being chased by a tiger, they had to get that energy from somewhere in the body. Could they borrow it from the brain? That organ uses 20 percent of our metabolic output, whether we are solving math problems or watching television reruns. Due to this constant energy requirement, borrowing energy from the brain when our need _______ the available supply is not an option. Perhaps we could borrow energy from our muscles. Because we use far more muscle energy when we are active than when at rest, _______, we could borrow energy when we are sitting. But the problem is that most of the energy-demanding emergencies of our ancestors _______ a muscular response. There was no way to borrow energy from our muscles during an emergency because relaxing when a tiger showed up was not a(n) _______ response. This brings us to our immune system, which, when _______ protects us from many illnesses and diseases. Like the brain, the immune system works at great metabolic cost, but largely in the __________of keeping us healthy in the future. We have an enormous number of immune cells coursing through our body, a(n) __________ break from production is fine. So, when our body needs extra energy, one of the places it goes is our immune function. When you’re being chased by a tiger, you don’t need to waste energy making immune cells to fight off tomorrow’s cold. What you need is to __________ all available energy resources to your legs, with the hope that you will live to experience another cough or sneeze.

__________, our immune system evolved to run in maximum amounts when we’re happy, but to slow down dramatically when we’re not. With this background in mind, Trivers supposed that older people evolved a strategy of turning this relationship on its head, becoming more __________ the positive things in life in an effort to enhance their immune functioning. This was helped along by their knowing much more about the world than younger adults, so they can deal with some of the __________ things in life more easily.

7 . If your in-box is currently reporting unread messages in the hundreds or thousands, you might have a hard time believing the news: e-mail is on the decline.

At first thought, that might seem to be the case. The incoming generation, after all, doesn’t do e-mail. Oh, they might have an account. They use it only as we would use a fax machine: as a means to communicate with old-school folks like their parents or to fulfill the sign-up requirements of Web sites. They rarely check it, though.

Today’s instant electronic memos — such as texting and Facebook and Twitter messages — are more direct, more concentrated, more efficient. They go without the salutation (称呼语) and the signoff (签收); we already know the “to” and “from.” Many corporations are moving to messaging networks for exactly that reason: more signal, less noise and less time. This trend is further evidence that store-and-forward systems such as e-mail and voicemail are outdated. Instead of my leaving you a lengthy message that you pick up later, I can now send you an easily-read message that you can read — and respond to — on the go.

The coming of the mobile era is responsible for the decline of e-mail. Instant written messages bring great convince to people. They can deal with them at about any time: before a movie, in a taxi, waiting for lunch. And because these messages are very brief, they’re suitable for smart phone typing.

Does this mean e-mail is on its way to the dustbin of digital history? Not necessarily. E-mail still has certain advantages. On the other hand, tweets and texts feel ephemeral — you read them, then they’re gone, into an endless string, e-mail still feels like something you have and that you can file, search and return to later. It’s easy to imagine that it will continue to feel more appropriate for formal communications: agreements, important news, longer explanations.

So, e-mail won’t go away completely. Remember, we’ve been through a transition (过度) like this not so long ago: when e-mail was on the rise, people said that postal mail was dead. That’s not how it works. Postal mail found its smaller market, and so will e-mail. New technology rarely replaces old one completely; it just adds new alternatives.

8 . Also of interest...in family dramas

The Travelers

by Regina Porter (Hogarth, $27)

Though Regina Porter’s formally daring first novel “can feel too much like a jigsaw puzzle,” it achieves a “simply stunning” level of complexity, said Meng Jin in the San Fracisco Chronicle. As the first-time novelist tells the stories of two Georgia families — one black, one white — she weaves together events from 1946 to 2010 while deftly shifting between play-like dialogue, straight narrative, and various other modes. Not one character is a mere extra, and the impressive result “looks very much like life.”

Ask Again, Yes

by Mary Beth Keane (Scribner, $27)

Mary Beth Keane’s new novel is “one of the most unpretentiously profound books I’ve read in a long time,” said Maureen Corrigan in NPR.org. In 1973 New York City, two rookie cops forge a friendship that shapes the lives of the Irish-American families they raise side by side in a nearby suburb. Because each chapter is told from a new perspective, we come to know almost every member of those families, and Keane “beautifully dramatizes” how lives are built on a series of happenstances, including tragic ones.

Native Country of the Heart

by Cherrie Moraga (Farrar, Straus & Giroux, $26)

“This memoir’s beauty is in its fierce intimacy,” said Roy Hoffman in The News York Times. Playwright Cherrie Moraga makes her mother the heroine of the book, bringing the late immigrant’s story to life “with a poet’s verve.” Mexican-born Elvira Moraga, who picked cotton in California at 11, sold cigarettes in Tijuana at 14, and never learned to read, became the heart and soul of a large extended family. Here, she’s a character too resonant to be merely emblematic.

The Edge of Every Day

by Marin Sardy (Pantheon, $26)

Mental illness leaves no one in a family untouched, said Alison Van Houten in Outside. In a book whose nonlinear structure “mimics the erratic nature of schizophrenia,” essayist Marin Sardy bringing the describes how the disorder struck her mother and a brother, scrambling life for all the children. Her mother’s paranoid delusions disrupted their schooling; years later, Sardy’s brother, after refusing help, committed suicide. “How does one lead any semblance of a normal life under such circumstances?” Sardy shows us how.

Note:

1. resonant: 共振的，共鸣的       2. emblematic: 象征的，典型的

3. nonlinear: 非线性的               4.schizophrenia: 精神分裂症

9 . Portraits as Art

According to a dictionary, portraiture is “a representation (描绘) of a person, especially of the face by drawing or painting a likeness.” However, this definition neglects the complexities of portraiture. Portraits are works of art that engage with ideas of identity rather than just a likeness. These concepts of identity involve social rank, gender, age, profession, character of the subject, etc. It is impossible to copy all the aspects of identity. Therefore, portraits reflect only certain qualities of subjects. Portrait art has also undergone significant shifts in artistic practice. The majority of portraits are the outcome of current artistic fashions and favored styles. Therefore, portrait art is an art category providing various engagement with social, psychological, and artistic practices and expectations.

Since portraits are different from other art categories, they are worthy of separate study. During their production, portraits require the presence of a specific person, or an image of the individual. In many instances, the production of portraiture has required sittings, which result in interaction between the subject(s) and the artist throughout the creation of the work. In certain instances, portrait artists depended on a combination of different involvement with their subjects. If the sitter can’t sit in the studio regularly, portraitists could use his or her photographs. In Europe, during the seventeenth and eighteenth century, the sitting time was sometimes decreased by focusing only on the head. Theoretically, portraitists could work from impressions or memories when creating a painting, but this rarely occurred according to documented records. Nonetheless, whether the work is based on model sittings, copying a photograph, or using memory, the process of painting a portrait is linked with the model’s attendance.

Furthermore, portrait painting can be distinguished from other artistic categories by its connection with appearance, or likeness. As such, the art of portrait painting got a reputation for imitation instead of for artistic innovation. Based on Renaissance art theory, portraiture was related to the level of a mechanical exercise as opposed to a fine art. Michelangelo’s well-known protest against portraits is only one example. During the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, the attitude to portraiture was critical. Even so, artists from around the globe persisted in painting portraits despite their theoretical objections. Picasso, for example, became widely-known for cubist still-life painting (立体派静物画) early in his career, but some of his early experiments in this new style were his portraits of art dealers.