2 . Technology seems to discourage slow, immersive reading. Reading on a screen tires your eyes and makes it harder for you to keep your place. Online writing tends to be more skimmable than print. The cognitive neuroscientist Mary Walt argued recently that this “new norm” of skim reading is producing “an invisible, game-changing transformation” in how readers process words. The neuronal circuit (回路) that sustains the brain’s capacity to read now favors the rapid absorption of information.

We shouldn’t exaggerate this danger. All readers skim. From about the age of nine, our eyes start to bounce around the page, reading only about a quarter of the words properly, and filling in the gaps by inference. So far, the anxieties have proved to be false alarms. “Quite a few critics have been worried about attention spans lately and see very short stories as signs of cultural decline,” the American author Selvin Brown wrote. “No one ever said that poems were evidence of short attention spans.”

And yet the Internet has certainly changed the way we read. For a start, it means that there is more to read, because more people than ever are writing. And digital writing is meant for rapid release and response. This mode of writing and reading can be interactive and fun. But often it treats other people’s words as something to be quickly harvested as fodder (素材) to say something else. Everyone talks over the top of everyone else, desperate to be heard.

Perhaps we should slow down. Reading is constantly promoted as a social good and source of personal achievement. To a slow reader, a piece of writing can only be fully understood by immersing oneself in the words. and their slow comprehension of a line of thought,

The human need for this kind of deep reading is too tenacious for any new technology to destroy. We often assume that technological change can’t be stopped and happens in one direction, so that older media like “dead-tree” books are kicked out by newer, more virtual forms. In practice, older technologies can coexist with new ones. The Kindle has not killed off the printed book any more than the car killed off the bicycle. We still want to enjoy slowly formed ideas and carefully-chosen words. Even in a fast-moving age, there is time for slow reading.

3 . We often think about relationships on a scale from positive to negative. We are drawn to loving family members, caring classmates and supportive mentors. We do our best to avoid the cruel uncle, the playground bully and the jerk boss.

But the most harmful relationships aren’t the purely negative ones. They’re the ones that are a mix of positive and negative. We often call them frenemies, supposed friends who sometimes help you and sometimes hurt you. But it’s not just friends. It’s the in-laws who volunteer to watch your kids but devalue your parenting. The manager who praises your work but denies you a promotion.

Groundbreaking research led by the psychologists Bert Uchino and Julianne Holt-Lunstad shows that ambivalent (矛盾情绪的) relationships can be damaging to your health — even more than purely negative relationships.

Even a single ambivalent interaction can cause harm. In one experiment, people talked about controversial (具有争议性的) topics in front of a friend who offered feedback. The researchers had randomly assigned the friend to give ambivalent or negative comments. Receiving mixed feedback caused higher blood pressure than pure criticism. “I would have gone about the topic differently, but you’re doing fine” proved to be more distressing than “I totally disagree with everything you’ve said.”

The evidence that ambivalent relationships can be bad for us is obvious, but the reasons can be harder to read — just like the relationships themselves.

One reason is that ambivalent relationships are unpredictable. With a clear enemy, you put up a shield when you cross paths. With a frenemy, you never know whether Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde is going to show up. Feeling unsure can break the body’s calming system and activate a fight-or-flight response. It’s unsettling to hope for a hug while also preparing for a likely quarrel.

Another factor is that unpleasant interactions are more painful in an ambivalent relationship. It’s more distressing to be let down by people you like sometimes than by people you dislike all the time. When someone stabs you in the back, it stings more if he’s been friendly to your face.

A Firefighting Drill

My first year of high school felt awkward. After I left junior high as a straight-A student, it felt strange starting over as a freshman. And to make matters worse, my closest friend went to a different high school. I felt very isolated.

I missed my old teachers so much that I would go back and visit them. They would encourage me to get involved in school activities so that I could meet new people. They told me that in time I would adjust and probably end up loving my new school more than I had loved my old one.

One Sunday afternoon not long after I had started high school. I was sitting at home doing homework. It was a cold and windy fall day, and we had a fire going in our fireplace. My mother kept stoking the fire to keep the house nice and warm. Suddenly. I smelled something strange, and then I noticed smoke pouring in through the seams (接缝处) of the ceiling. The smoke began to fill the room so quickly that we could barely see anything. Feeling about our way to the front door. we managed to get into the front yard. By the time we made our way outside. the whole roof was engulfed (吞没) in flames and it was spreading quickly. I ran to the neighbors to call the fire department.

Five hours later. the fire was finally out. Our house was almost completely burned down. Everything was gone in the smoke. The firemen wouldn’t let us go back into the house that night. It was still too dangerous. We piled into the car with just the clothes on our backs, and made our way to my grandparents’ house to spend the night.

On Monday. I went to school. When the fire broke out. I was wearing pajamas (睡衣), and I had no shoes! I had kicked them off when I was doing my homework. “Why I have to be here!” I cried inside, head hung low.

Jane was still sleeping when the phone rang in the living room. She opened her sleepy eyes and looked at the clock on the table. It was already nine o’clock! Although Jane was still very sleepy, she knew she had to get up because her mother was working in her office and she couldn’t expect her younger brother Tom, who was sleeping like a pig, to answer the Phone. She quickly put on a coat and ran to the living room. When she picked up the receiver, on the other end came the warm greeting, “Good morning!”

It was from her father, who was a seaman and rarely came back. Suddenly, Jane’s sleepiness disappeared.

Born in a not-so-rich family, Jane and Tom felt the stress of life, but they were happy to enjoy the family atmosphere. At school, they were straight-A students and took part in various after-school activities. They were the pride of the family.

“Good morning, Dad. Why do you call us so early on the weekend?” Jane said and pretended to be annoyed. “Tom and I have been very nice recently.” “My dear, today is your mother’s birthday, and I have ordered a cake online and it will be sent to our home late in the afternoon. Do remember to take the cake. It is my surprise for your mother.”

Hearing her father’s words, Jane felt a little ashamed. How could she forget her mother’s birthday?!

While she was chatting with her father, Jane looked around the room and saw a lot of dirty clothes on the sofa. The floor hadn’t been cleaned for a few days since her mother had to work all this week.

She looked at the clock again and was sure that she still had enough time to prepare a surprise for her mother.

“Well, Dad, now I’m going to wake Tom up. We will give Mum a surprise, too!” Jane said and hung up the telephone.

Jane hurried to Tom’s room and shared her plan with him.

“Happy birthday, Mum!” Jane and Tom shouted when their mother opened the door.