2 . Close to the king’s palace stood a little house. In it lived a ______ gardener who worked at the palace grounds from dawn to dusk. It was hard work. Yet he ______ complained. He always seemed to be at peace with himself.

The king wondered, “I wish I could be as happy as him.”

One evening the king found the gardener packing up his tools after ______ the day’s work. He was covered with dust and mud. But he kept singing to himself. The king ______ him and said, “You are always happy. I wish I could be as happy as you. What is the ______ of your happiness? Won’t you ______ it with me? ”

“Why should I be unhappy when I get two meals a day and have a ______ to sleep in at night? I’m happy that I have the ______ to work from morning till evening to earn my bread. I’m so ______ now that I can enjoy anything, even hard dry bread. And I am tired too. So I can ______ on the hardest floor, and drop off to sleep ______ . When I wake up in the morning, I feel fresh and full of ______ to welcome another day. I take every ______ as it comes. This moment is what ______ to me the most,” the gardener bowed and replied ______ .

“But what if tomorrow you fall sick! Shouldn’t you think of the future too?” the king asked.

“And start ______ ? Then I will lose my appetite. I will not get good sleep. I will fall sick and ______ my job. I will starve and die. I can’t ______ to worry about the future. Only this moment counts. Nothing else,” the gardener explained.

“You said it. Thank you,” the king nodded and ______ to change his attitude and to make the best use of the ______ .

4 . Do you find yourself pulling away from others, especially if you’ve experienced a deep disappointment? Maybe the most ______ thing most of us can do is to be with people when we don’t feel like being around anybody.

A man who lost his wife to cancer found himself wanting to be ______ . He dropped out of his community and ______ all of the activities he and his wife were used to for year. He ______ socializing at work and returned ______ home to an empty house after work. He turned down ______ from friends and co-workers.

His friends became ______ . One came by to visit and invite him over for supper the next evening. The two old friends sat in comfortable chairs by a ______ . The visitor extended the dinner invitation and ______ him to come, “You may need to ______ others to share your pain.”

The man responded that he felt better ______ staying with other people. “And ______ ,” he said, “it’s just too difficult to get out anymore.”

They sat in ______ for a while, watching the wood burn in the fireplace. Then the visitor did a(n) ______ thing. He took tongs (火钳) by the fireplace, reached into the fire, pulled out a ______ coal and laid down by itself on the earth. “That’s you,” he said.

The man sat in silence, ______ the red-hot ember. Neither man looked ______ as the once hot coal gradually transformed into a black lump. After some moments, the man said, “I get the ______ , my friend. I’ll be over tomorrow evening.”

We cannot ______ in any healthy way by ourselves. The leaf needs the branch. The branch needs the trunk. The trunk needs the roots. And the roots need the rest of the tree. We are ______ . And in that connection life and vitality (活力) are found.

5 . Have you ever come out of a steamy hot shower and tried to look at your reflection in the mirror when it’s completely steamed and fogged up? I often think that is how we tend to view our beauty—through fogged up mirrors. We are seeing ourselves but the picture isn’t exactly clear! The mirrors have been fogged up through different life experiences and memories as we have grown up, and now blend together to form our own definition of our beauty.

The first mirror is formed as a young child and is often based on what was said about us from our parents and those around us. I remember being told that I was a cute child, so that when I got a little older and was around six or seven and another child tried to tell me I was ugly- everything within me rose up against the statement because my self-belief in what my parents had said stood strong.

The second mirror is the mirror of adolescence, those formative years when we are pushed into the big wild world and out of the protection of home. As a teenager I went to a boarding school, and I was one of the only two black people in the entire school. Children being naturally curious, I felt like I was asked a million and one different questions about both my hair and skin tone- -and I don’t think there has ever been a time when I have been more acutely aware of my appearance, which in turn opened up the door for me to question how I looked and to thankfully embrace my differences.

The final mirror comes from socially constructed ideas of beauty. We are often faced with numerous images in the media, popular culture, society, peers and social media, which can create a false ideal of beauty in our eyes. We tend to compare ourselves to those ideals and use it as some sort of margin (差值) of measurement.

However, real beauty comes from within. It is acceptance of yourself, perceived flaws and all. You are a masterpiece, a unique blend of genes and life experiences. It’s essential to appreciate yourself like any other work of art or natural wonder, without judgement. Maybe it’s time to create a fourth mirror, a new mirror that is wiped clean and is minus the fog of comparisons, accusations, judgments and expectations.

The Challenges That I Met

7 . What is your calling? What is your purpose in life? What did you come to this world to do? Every day we read about how we should find our purpose and pursue it throughout our lives in order to find meaning and contentment. There are even scientific studies that show people who view their work as a calling rather than just a career or a job have a higher life and work satisfaction. So, what exactly is this calling?

I’ve personally struggled with this concept for many years. I knew that happiness not only came from a present state of joy, but also from the pursuit of an objective that gave me something to pursue. That is, until I found myself feeling empty despite my achievement of those goals.

And as I reflected on these feelings of emptiness and boredom that had arisen despite my successes, I realized something. Meaning and satisfaction come from a personal devotion to what we do and the intrinsic (固有的) fulfillment we get from it. It has nothing to do with financial gain, social advancement or any other type of external reward or motivation. It is about doing something that we love. It is about focusing our efforts and spending our time on passions that light the spark inside of us and allow us to share with the world the unique gifts we possess.

I had never before stopped to think about what I found intrinsically rewarding or fulfilling. Financial gain and external recognition were pretty much the only drivers I knew. More so, I thought this calling meant having one passion we were born with to pursue relentlessly (不懈地).

So, I spent some years trying to find this long-lost purpose of mine. I discovered during that time passions I had no idea I even had. Yet, I wasn’t sure how to make them into my life purpose. I searched for an answer but couldn’t find it. It wasn’t until I came to understand the truths about our purpose in life that I was able to find my place in this world.

Our purpose can consist of various things that make us feel alive. As we grow and evolve throughout the different stages in our lives, we may discover new passions and desires that change our sense of purpose and calling.

We all have a longing for lives that give meaning to our existence. The difference lies in how we go about accomplishing this. We must each find our own “shine” and then shine on.

8 . My almost 6-year-old son is currently crazy about Star Wars and Harry Potter. I know he’s young, but the movies and books bring up topics for us to sort through all the time—tough topics. A good chance for me! We read the books together; we watch the movies together. We’ve talked about many things that some parents of a 5-year-old might not talk about, but I want to have these conversations with my son.

Today, it was rainy and when the baby took her nap, I allowed him to watch a Star Wars movie as a reward for being so kind this morning to his sister who was feeling a little unhappy. As I was folding laundry, I said to him, very casually, “Wow, that Darth Vader really makes me sick.” My son chided (指责) me, “Mama, Darth Vader has good in him. I know he’s on the dark side, but he isn’t all bad.” This launched us into a conversation about good versus evil and how goodness can be found in anyone if we only look hard enough.

For the past week, I feel like I have been tested with various examples of people simply not being nice. And some people were rude for no apparent reason. A nurse was impatient with me on the phone when I called for a prescription. Little ears were listening in on all of those instances and after doing my best to be nice on the phone call with the nurse, I hung up and said to my husband, “Wow, what was wrong with her? She was so rude.” My boy said, “Mama, we all have a bad day. Be nice to her and she might be nice to you back.” This child teaches me lessons every day, and all we can do is treat people with kindness, as hard as it might be.

The nurse was probably exhausted from taking sick calls and maybe she simply needed a coffee break. I do know that those people were not on their best behavior or showing their best side but how many of us have been in those exact shoes? We all act in haste. We all speak in haste. We all do things we regret. And, if we were lucky, we were met with kindness instead of anger in return for our outburst.

My son reminded me today to be kinder and gentler to the people I meet with. I’m going to try harder this week. I’m going to try to smile when met with a frown. Like he mentions, even Darth Vader has good in him and maybe he just needs a little sympathy.