1 . People are taught how to speak, but good sentence structure and a wide range of vocabulary words won’t always lead to being understood or understanding others.    1    

The good news is that it’s never too late to learn how to communicate more effectively. The first step is to realize you’ re having communication issues.    2    The following is a list of the top three signs that you need to learn healthier communication skills.

You have the same fights over and over.

Your fights are about the same topic again and again. If this is happening, it means you don’t yet have the skills to resolve conflicts.    3    The fight may end, but it’s only a matter of time before you argue about the same thing again. When you learn how to resolve conflicts, issues don’t pile up or become baggage that weighs down your relationship.

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You don’t want to fight so you try not to bring up subjects that lead only to pain and disconnection. The problem is that avoiding them leads to pain and disconnection anyway. Unless you learn how to have hard conversations productively, you will get more and more disconnected until your relationship is in danger of ending.

You regularly feel misunderstood or unheard.

No matter how hard you try, you don’t feel understood. Perhaps your partner has expressed the same feeling.Over time the disconnected feeling does damage to your relationship. It’s important to learn how to communicate in a better way, so that both you and the other person feel heard and understood.    5    To be heard, your partner will need to learn how to listen. For you, to be able to hear your partner, you will need to do the same.

2 . A recent study by a group of researchers found that there is a link between happiness and a term that the researchers coined called “relational diversity.”

Using public data from sources like the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the World Health Organization, the researchers were able to analyze data sets and survey responses from people who had shared their daily habits, schedules and interactions. They noticed a clear relationship between relational diversity and overall levels of satisfaction.

Hanne Collins, a Harvard Business School doctoral student who co-authored the study, says that relational diversity is composed of two elements: richness and evenness.

Richness measures relationship categories, or how many kinds of people you interact with in a day. That could be your romantic partner, a family member, a neighbor or a stranger. “The more relationship categories they talk to in a day and the more even their conversations are across those categories, the happier they are. And we find this in a large sample across many countries,” Collins said.

Evenness relates to the distribution of conversations among those different relationship categories. Some people may find themselves interacting with colleagues at work more than, say, their family members. “If you have a few conversations with colleagues, a few with friends, a few with a romantic partner or a couple chats with strangers, thats going to be more even across these categories,” Collins explained.

Ultimately, Collins says, the study gives insight to the idea that humans are social creatures at heart. Having a support system is important, but it goes beyond your inner circle. “Its about this mix. Its about connecting with people who are close to you, who are maybe less close to you, who connect you with other people, who provide different kinds of support,” she said. “Essentially, the idea is that the more diverse your social portfolio (社交档案), the happier you are and the higher your well-being.”

Next time you consider striking up a conversation with a stranger in line at the grocery store or while waiting at the coffee shop, keep in mind that it might be beneficial to your well-being.

4 . While everyone’s image of their dream home looks a little different, most people will agree that their ideal neighbourhood is filled with friendly faces. Getting to know your neighbours takes time and effort.     1    

Nick Tebbey, national executive officer of Relationships Australia, says spring is the perfect season to start getting to know your neighbours. “When the weather starts warming up we’re all spending more time outdoors.” It makes sense that the best way to get to know a neighbour is to first make sure they actually know you’re neighbours.     2    “ There are always opportunities to make a connection and they can be as small as a nod,a wave or a friendly good day,” says Tebbey.

To put yourself in the way of these opportunities, Tebbey suggests timing your outings to take place“when other people are out and about as well”. When it comes to actually introducing yourself to your neighbours, Tebbey notes it’s important to do what feels comfortable, whether that’s leaving a note on a building notice board or chatting to someone while you wait for the elevator.    3    

Once you’ve introduced yourself to a neighbor, you can start conversations.     4    “ If they’re gardening, ask what they’re planting–be interested in what people share.”Tebbey says. And once someone tells you their dog’s name or where they’re about to go on holiday, try your best to keep that in mind so you can continue the conversation next time you cross paths.

“It’s not about grand gestures or sharing everything about yourself with your neighbours.     5    ” Tebbey says.“ It’s small but meaningful interactions and taking interest in each other’s lives,but without any sense of expectation.”

5 . What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life? The clearest message that we got from a 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.     1    

The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to others are happier.     2     On the contrary, the experience of loneliness turns out to be harmful. There are some people who are more lonely than they want to be. They find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.

And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd and you can be lonely in a marriage. So the second big lesson that we learned is that it’s not just the number of friends you have, and it’s not whether or not you’re in a committed relationship, but it’s the quality of your close relationships that matters.     3     High-conflict marriages, for example, without much love, turn out to be very bad for our health.

And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships is that good relationships don’t just protect our bodies, they protect our brains. It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship is protective. Many people are in relationships where they can get help from the other persons in times of need.     4    

So, good and close relationships are good for our health and well-being.     5     This is wisdom that’s as old as the hills. Now, ask yourself a question: If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy?

6 . There is an old American saying, “Loose lips sink ships.” This means that if you speak too much about something, especially to people who you don’t know so well, it’ll cause all kinds of trouble.

The situation here is so much worse because the “loose lips” were your best friend’s. Treated this way, you’re sure to feel hurt.     1    

But I have to say that it’s partly your fault, isn’t it? You admit that you were “letting off steam”. It is understandable in that situation, but we should always think before we speak.

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First, apologise to your teammate. If you ever want to win any more basketball games, you need to work together, and that means communicating with each other clearly and resolving conflicts.     3     Tell him directly and honestly that you were talking without thinking.

Then, talk to your friend. Friendship should be one of the greatest things in the world, but sometimes it can be difficult. Again, your strategy is clear communication. Tell your friend you’re angry with him for repeating what you said and making the situation worse, but that you want to move on.     4    

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, think about your own behaviour. Don’t say too much when you’re angry!     5     This gives people the wrong signal. Take a deep breath, calm down, and always remember: think first, speak later. If you feel one of your teammates isn’t pulling their weight, then raise your concerns in a professional way with your team coach.

If you think about other people’s feelings as well as your own, you’ll soon find everything works out.

9 . Peer pressure occurs when a peer group has direct or indirect pressure to do certain actions. The term “peer” often refers to people one knows in real life and that have a similar social status to oneself. However, the larger culture can also bring about peer pressure.     1    .

Many people consider peer pressure a negative thing.     2    . People, especially teens and young adults, may be more likely to do prosocial behaviors when they see people their own age doing the same things. Evidence shows that teens with friends who volunteer are more likely to volunteer themselves.

Research suggests peer pressure sometimes begins in elementary school.     3    . Some may be isolated by members of the larger group. Children may begin to worry about balancing a sense of loyalty to their friends with fairness to others.

Research has long shown that peer pressure can increase the risk of someone trying drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes.     4    . While some may experiment with alcohol or drugs once or twice and decide it’s not for them, others who begin using a substance may find it difficult to quit.

    5    . Some children find it becomes more difficult to go against the group over time. But it’s important to realize that not only do younger children face peer pressure, they are also able to stand up to it.

10 . How to Improve Your Communication Skills

If you feel like you lack the basic skills required for good communication, there are a number of reliable ways to improve. Here are a few tips:

    1    Effective communicators are always good listeners. Active listening means engaging with what people say by giving positive replies and asking follow-up questions to show that you are paying attention.

Focus on nonverbal communication. Mastering nonverbal signals can help prevent miscommunication and signal interest to those around you.    2    Your nonverbal signals affect the first impression you make on someone. Maintaining eye contact, limiting hand gestures, and having good posture go a long way when meeting someone for the first time.

Manage your own emotions. For clear communication and your own personal well-being, it’s important to manage your emotions and express them appropriately in context.    3    

Practice public speaking.    4    However, there’s no better way to develop good communication skills than by seeking out public speaking opportunities. Great communicators are able to clearly express their feelings, whether they’re speaking to a large group or talking face-to-face to one other person. Regularly speaking in front of a group will help you find your strengths and weaknesses and force you to develop great communication habits.

Ask for feedback. There’s no shame in asking for honest feedback on your communication skills from people around you.    5