1 . Develop Positive Relationships

One of the most profound experiences we can have in our lives is the connection we have with other human beings. Positive and supportive relationships will help us to feel healthier, happier, and more satisfied with our lives.     1    

●Accept and celebrate differences.

    2     Yet when we try to build relationships, we expect that people will think like we do. In this way, it is so much easier to create a friendly relationship. However, while we may find it initially easier, the novelty of sameness soon would wear off. So accepting that we are all different is a great starting point.

●Listen effectively.

Listening is a crucial skill in boosting another person’s self-esteem.    3    In active listening, we also are genuinely interested in understanding what the other person is thinking, feeling, wanting, or what the message means, and we are active in checking out our understanding before we respond with our own new message. This process is what distinguishes active listening and makes it effective.

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In a world where time is of the essence, we don’t always have the time to give to our loved ones. Being present in the time you give to people is important. In other words, when you are with someone, you are truly with someone and not living in the past or worrying about the future. Devoting time, energy, and effort to building relationships is one of the most valuable life skills.

●Manage mobile technology.

By now, everyone has a mobile phone and many people have two or more. While they are a lifesaver in an emergency, and an effective tool for communication, they also can be a complete distraction when people exhibit a lack of mobile phone etiquette (礼仪).    5    

One of my unforgettable memory of my school in Xinjiang is that of lunches we brought from our homes. I hold my lunch-box in my hand when I was going to school. The smell from it was very good. Since the lunch bell finally rang, my friends or I met under a tall tree and had our lunches. My best friend Aigulie was used to share her Nang with me. Nang is a specially kind of cake in Xinjiang. I like them very much. Now Aigulie and I study at different colleges or we can only see each other during the summer vacation. I think over her a lot and I miss the food and the good time we had together.

6 . The key to a happy life has nothing to do with getting ahead at work, making money, or traveling the world. Instead, living your best life and creating meaning is all about one thing: relationships.

A study of adult development has been running at Harvard since 1938, and is now on its second generation of participants—the children of the original study’s subjects. Over decades, the research team collected data about their lives, including their physical and mental health, marital (婚姻的) status and quality, career happiness, etc.

They found the most important aspect in how happy and healthy these men were over time was their relationships. In other words: Finding happiness in life is all about the people you love.

The research doesn’t only include romantic relationships and marriage. Quality, close relationships are important whether they are in the situation of romantic relationships or closeness between friends or family members. The kind of relationship you have is less important than how close you feel with them.

However, the study only included men, and important gender differences exist in how people experience relationships. Some research suggests that men may benefit more from marriage. But they tend to have a harder time keeping friendships; as men get older, they will more likely say they have nobody to discuss important subjects with. So it’s possible that having close relationships throughout their lives might affect men differently than women.

The findings line up with the effects of loneliness. People who are socially isolated have a greater likelihood of strokes (中风), heart attacks, and higher blood pressure, not to mention mental health issues.

Unfortunately for the youngest generations, recent surveys found that young Americans are lonelier than older generations. That will likely have a big impact on how healthy and happy people feel throughout their lives.

9 . Like the rest of us, scientists have long suspected the healing capacity (修复能力) of a good hug. Unlike the rest of us, they’ve gone about trying to prove it.

“Laboratory studies suggest that things like hugs help us feel safer. They can also make us less sensitive to physical pain and less reactive when we’re faced with threatening experiences,” says Michael Murphy. He is a research professor in the department of psychological sciences at Texas Tech University. “This lab work has shown that hugs and other touch behavior are related to stress. The more stress we have, the more our heart rates and blood pressure go up. At this time, hugs and other forms of personal touch may give off all sorts of feel-good chemicals, so that stress can be reduced.”

“There’s a lot that we still need to learn, and there’s a lot we don’t know,” Murphy says. “However, what seems to be rising up is that hugs, as well as other forms of loving and gentle touch, are really powerful. They remind people that they’ re cared about and that they have someone in their corner.”

We expect touch. When we were born, we were placed in our mothers’ arms almost immediately. In that first year of our life, we spend a lot of time being held by other people. And as we grow up, we seek out hugs and touch as a way of connection. I think what we have lost in the past few years are these really easy opportunities to be reminded of connection.”

While he was at Carnegie Mellon, Murphy was the lead author of a hug-centered 2018 article in the scientific journal PLOS One. In a series of interviews with 404 adults over a two-week period, the researchers found that receiving a hug is associated with the attenuation of negative emotions that occur on days with interpersonal conflicts. That is to say, generally, hugs help to reduce the negative impacts that personal conflicts may cause in our daily lives.

10 . Symbol of friendship

Friendship is a wonderful thing to have no matter how old you are. However, it is important for teens and young adults to provide conversation, support and so much more as friends.     1     Actually, there are a few things that symbolize a friendly relationship.

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One of the symbols of a wonderful relationship between friends is easy conversation. When you can talk about almost anything, you are sure to be true friends. When the conversation flows easily from one topic to another, this can be a symbol of friendship as well.

Able to have fun

    3     No matter what you are doing, you can have a fun experience so long as you are with your friend. This is one of the best parts of friendship.

Support all the time

If your friends know they can call you anytime and you will be there for them, then this symbolizes friendship.

Attentive listening by both individuals

If you find that you listen closely to what your friend says and they do the same for you, this is another symbol of friendship.     4    

Share laughter and tears

Another symbol of friendship is the ability to share both laughter and tears. A friend is someone with whom you can laugh and cry over anything.     5