2 . Picking up after your dog is interesting, but it must be done. Most dog owners understand the importance of picking up their dogs’ waste, so it can be especially frustrating to see dog owners that obviously refuse to perform this duty.     1    , but by asking them the right way, informing them of the risks and consequences of not picking up after their dogs, and providing them with the right collection tools, you may be able to get them to change their ways.

Ask them directly. Talking to another dog owner about picking up their dogs’ waste can be uncomfortable. However, asking the owner directly to pick up after their dog will often work to fix the problem.     2    . Maybe they think no one notices or that their actions don’t directly affect those around them. Asking the person directly lets them know you, and others, have noticed their actions and are being affected negatively by them.

Use a friendly tone. Although you are probably fed up and mad at a dog owner that isn’t cleaning up after their dog, approach them in a friendly manner. Yelling at them may make them defensive and angry.     3    .

Give them a reason. It’s possible this person doesn’t realize how their neglect in picking up after their dog is negatively affecting those around them.     4    , give them a reason why you want them to do so.

    5    . When facing someone on this issue, don’t exaggerate (夸大) the truth or make up reasons they should comply with your request. Be honest with them about why you want them to pick up after their dog and what could happen if they don’t.

3 . Initial conversations can have a huge impact on how relationships develop over time. People are often stuck in the impressions they think they might have made the minute they finish speaking with someone for the first time: “Did they like me or were they just being polite?” “Were they deep in thought or deeply bored?”

To find out whether these worries are necessary, we have conducted nearly 10 years of research. In our studies, participants in the UK talked with someone they had never met before. Afterward, they were asked how much they liked their conversation partner and how much they believed that their conversation partner liked them. This allowed us to compare how much people believed they were liked to how much they were actually liked.

Time and time again, we found that people left their conversations with negative feelings about the impression they made. That is, people systematically underestimate how much their conversation partners like them and enjoy their company — a false belief we call the “liking gap”.

This bias (偏见) may seem like something that would occur only in initial interactions, but its effects extend far beyond a first impression. Surprisingly, the liking gap can constantly affect a variety of relationships, including interactions with coworkers, long after the initial conversations have taken place. Having a larger liking gap is associated with being less willing to ask workmates for help, less willing to provide workmates with open and honest feedback, and less willing to work on another project together.

There are numerous strategies to minimize your biased feelings. One place to start is shifting your focus of attention. Try to direct your attention to your conversation partner, be genuinely curious about them, ask them more questions, and really listen to their answers. The more you’re zeroed in on the other person, and the less you’re focused on yourself, the better your conversation will be and the less your mind will turn to all the things you think you didn’t do well.

4 . Your manager stops you and says she needs to have a word about your performance in the recent project. She begins by praising you for the good work you’ve done on the project, and you wonder if this is the praise that starts off the typical “feedback sandwich”.     1     Say something nice, say what you really want to say, say something nice again.

However, when feedback becomes such a routine, employees can start to perceive positive feedback as simply a form of sugarcoating the negatives, thus decreasing its value. Instead, positive feedback should not simply be seen as something to cushion the negative.     2     Below are three tips to help you make positive feedback count.

    3     When positive and negative feedback always appear to go hand in hand, the positives can become devalued and ignored. Ensure there are times when positive feedback is given for its own sake and resist the temptation to offer constructive criticism.

Cultivate a “growth mindset”. Many of us tend to focus our praise on the end result and seeming inborn talents. For example,     4     However, research suggests that by focusing on the process of box things are done, we can encourage the development of new skills and the continued enhancement of talents.

Create a culture of offering positive feedback. Make giving positive feedback part of your team culture. Don’t just wait for special moments to give feedback. Offer informal positive feedback when making small talk.     5     Encourage peer feedback among team members and colleagues and actively ask them for positive comments on each other’s performances on tasks.

6 . Only about 20% of U.S.adults say they have a best friend at work.Should the other 80% start looking for one?Yes and no.    1     ,says psychologist Catherine Heaney. That support can come from a coworker who has become a close friend,but it doesn’t have to;interactions with managers and friendly acquaintances can also boost your well-being, Heaney notes.

    2    : having friends in the workplace can improve wellness.It’s linked to a lower risk of burnout,better mental health,and maybe even a longer lifespan.Meanwhile,research is equally clear that loneliness is bad for your health.    3     , given its links to various health problems.

But if becoming best friends with your coworkers feels too daunting (使人气馁的),or just not your style,you can still benefit from social support.When most people hear “social support”,they think of emotional support,like venting (发泄) to a coworker over coffee, Heaney says.    4     :when someone steps in to help you on a busy day,for instance,or shares advice.Even relatively minor interactions,like a manager allowing you to leave early to pick up your sick child,can buffer (缓解) the negative effects of stress, Heaney explains.    5    —although it is great if you do—but rather to promote “a sense of being in the right place” by becoming part of a community.

7 . In Favour of Simple Writing

Do you edit text messages carefully before sending them? If so, you may be the kind of person who takes pride in _______ even the simplest message. If you do not, you may see yourself as a go-getter, one who values excitement and speed over _______: get it done decently now rather than perfectly later.

People are constantly receiving messages, from the mailbox to the inbox to the text-message alert. What to read, what to skim (略读) and what to ignore are decisions that nearly everyone has to make dozens of times a day. A new book titled All Readers are Busy Nowadays makes the argument for being the careful kind of _______, even in informal lines. The authors also present well-established _______ that have long been prized in guides to writing.

Take “less is more”. Most books on writing well advocate the advice to _______ needless words. The authors, however, have _______ the idea. In an email to thousands of school-board members asking them to take a survey, cutting the count from127 to 49 words almost _______ the response rate.

Keeping messages to a _______ idea—or as few as absolutely needed—helps ensure that they will be read, remembered and acted on. _______ the number of the available options has the same effect, too. A link in an email, ________, attracted 50% more clicks when presented alone than when it was sent alongside a second additional link.

Syntax (句法) and ________ matter, too. It is more ________ to adopt short and active sentences, with common words familiar to everyone. From Facebook posts to online-travel reviews, even brief, informal pieces of writing that follow these rules get more likes and shares.

If everyone is a busy reader, everyone is a busy writer, too. That may make it tempting to sent as many messages as ________ as possible and hope for the best. But from essays to text messages organizing dinner plans, devoting time to the needs of readers has provable ________. If you are so busy that you write an undisciplined message which readers scan, ignore and delete, then you might as well have not ________ it at all.

9 . If you identify as a people-pleaser, you might feel like it’s impossible to change. Well-meaning friends can try to encourage you to just be yourself, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t shake that urge to keep everyone happy.     1    

    2     To be able to tell the difference, you should look at the amount of tension you feel. For example, when you see a friend finish his water and you refill his cup, that can come out of normal sensitivity to other people’s needs if you feel relaxed when you do it. But if you notice a sense of pressure, like something bad will happen if you don’t refill their drink, then you’re operating from anxiety and fear.

Lots of times, people who try to please other people are extremely quick to react in social settings. They know what to say right away and they move into care taking immediately.     4     One subtle but powerful technique to change your habit is to deliberately delay your reactions, connect with yourself and then try to have the interaction out of an authentic part of yourself.

As you slowly start to become aware of your needs and even state them out loud, it can bring in some essential changes in your relationships. You might realize that as you mature, some friendships are not as rewarding or even as equal as you would like them to be.     5     If you have an emotionally immature friend, it’s up to you to decide if you want to leave the friendship or use that relationship as an opportunity for mutual growth, if the other person also seems interested in changing.

10 . There’s a long line of research showing that when we make contact with people who’re socially different from us, we tend to feel less prejudice towards them. According to the contact theory, contact seems to work best for reducing prejudice when the contact is generally positive. But what happens when the conditions for interpersonal contact may not be ideal? For example, what if you feel threatened in some way by a group of people you see as “the other”?

Researchers from Ghent University in Belgium analyzed the results of 34 studies surveying nearly 64,000 people from 19 countries to see how intergroup contact affected their viewpoints about “outgroups” under conflict situations. For example, people were asked to report on how they viewed other groups. The researchers also had data from the surveys that measured attitudes towards outgroup members, such as how positive people felt towards them and how much they could trust them.

After analyzing the data, the researchers found strong feelings of threat were associated with more negative views of outgroup members. But having contact with outgroup members still reduced prejudice just as much under those unfavorable conditions. To Jasper Van Assche, the lead author of the paper, this suggests contact theory holds even under conflict situations.

Van Assche says that contact is so powerful probably because just being around people from an outgroup affects how we think and feel about them. As we become accustomed to even the me re presence of people from other groups, that can reduce our anxiety, especially if the encounters are positive—and that can lead to warmer feelings. Also, contact can enhance our knowledge about others’ customs and practices, so that they don’t seem so foreign or “other” to us.

Van Assche hopes his research can lead people to see the benefits of integrating the spaces where they live. This could be done through top-down methods, such as the government requiring school integration, but also from the bottom up. For example, suggests Van Assche, communities could create low-cost, low-key events that bring people together, helping to promote tolerance.