2 . A Few Active Listening Guidelines

Listening is arguably the most important element of interpersonal communication. Our ability to listen well impacts the quality of all of our relationships, and not just at home with our family and friends—it can also affect our relationships and interactions on the job, as well as the effectiveness and quality of our work.

Listening is not something that comes naturally or easily for most of us. Instead, it is a skill that must be cultivated and practiced. Active listening means the difference between simply hearing, and listening with the intent to truly understand.     1    

1. Give focused attention.

Try to minimize external (外部的) distractions. Turn down the noise, and put down or step away from what you’re doing if possible.     2     Don’t watch the clock, fidget (坐立不安) or go over your to-do list for later.

2. Maintain eye contact.

Direct eye contact shows your attention and intention to listen.     3     Be reasonable, but try not to let your eyes wander to whatever is going on around you.

3.     4    

Restate, but don’t repeat word for word. Paraphrase what you think the other part is saying with responses such as: “What I’m hearing is…” or “Let me see if I’m following you…”Reflecting what you’ve heard signals that you’re attempting to understand fully.

4. Respond appropriately.

Be open and honest in your responses. Share your thoughts, insights and feelings in a clear, but respectful and considerate manner even if you disagree.

Active listening is a model for good communication.     5     It takes practice to develop active listening skills, and it’s a habit that has to be reinforced (加强). Remind yourself that the goal of conversation is not merely to trade words, but to truly understand what the other party is saying and to be understood in turn.

A．Reflect back.

B．This doesn’t mean stare, though.

C．Instead, focus on what is being said.

D．It is a subtle but important distinction.

E．Look into the speakers’ eyes as long as possible.

F．Also, set aside other internal thinking and dialogue.

G．Remember that listening is not just to gather information and share ideas, but also to gain perspective and understanding.

3 . “Article 20” is a blockbuster in this Spring Festival. At the beginning of the film, there is a plot of bullying on campus. In the bathroom of a middle school, several boys pushed a thin boy to the ground, took off his clothes and beat and scolded him and took pictures.

It is never easy to cope with all the unwanted bullying even when you have done nothing wrong.     1     There are some solutions that you have to keep in mind when it comes to bullying.

Ask Them To Stop

Asking the bully to stop is sometimes an effective measure to deal with them. Sometimes when we do not speak up for ourselves, the bullies continue with their behavior thinking of us as easy targets. In this thought, they assume that we will never speak up to them.     2     Telling them to stop in a firm and confident voice can make them reconsider their actions.

Be Accompanied

Bullies usually hunt for people who are alone or have isolated themselves from their surroundings. If you are with your friends, or if you are in the company of someone, it is least likely that the bully will disturb you.     3     Sometimes, all it takes is one loyal friend who will stay by you no matter what.

Ignore Them

    4     When you do not react to what they say or do no matter how hurtful it may be for you, they start to lose interest in you. They think of it as a game, and when they get an emotional response from you it satisfies themselves.

Turn The Situation Into A Joke

Some of us are born comedians and we can turn almost anything into a joke. If you are one of these people, try to take advantage of your gift. Turn the situation the bully has created into a joke or just say something funny.     5    

A．But we are not asking you to make a huge circle of friends.

B．When we do defend for ourselves, it takes them by surprise.

C．Another effective measure to stop a bully is by ignoring them.

D．This will break the bully’s confidence and make them back-off.

E．But doing nothing in return will only result in more intense bullying.

F．It is important to bear in mind that you are trying to stop the situation.

G．Besides, your parents, your friends or even strangers who come with you can protect you from bullying.

4 . One night several years ago, after filling up my car at a gas station and pulling away, I notice a strange sound behind me in I traffic. It sounded to me like someone was dragging a bumper (保险杆) , so I started looking for the car to alert the driver. But no matter how fast or slow I moved, or where I turned, I couldn’t locate the car.

At this point I noticed people on the sidewalk pointing and laughing at me. I stopped and found the gas hose (软管) still attached to my car. I immediately pull out the hose and drove back to the gas station, where I was educated on the economics of breaking a gas pump (泵) .

My memory of that night is odd because I was judging the behavior of another person, who then turned out to be me. Philosophers might say that in these rare minutes, my “I-self” (the seer of things around me) and “me-self” (the one seen) were mentally separated.

This kind of separation is unnatural. Making it your permanent state of mind would be difficult and perhaps even undesirable. Each of us can, however, purposely change the balance of time we spend as observers and as the object of observation—even without doing something as ridiculous as I did. And working to observe more than you think about being observed can be an excellent way to get happier.

We think constantly about how other see us; we look in every mirror; we check our mentions on social media; we obsess over our identity. This brings trouble. Research has shown, for example, that focusing on the world outside yourself is linked to happiness, while focusing on yourself and how others see you can lead to your moods going up and down like a yo-yo. The good news is that you can certainly increasing your happiness by adopting conscious practices that help lower the mount of time you spend in an objectified state.

1. What happened to the author that night?

A．He was probably fined.	B．He damaged the bumper.
C．He got trapped in traffic.	D．He knocked into the sidewalk.

2. What does “I-self” refer to at the early stage in the incident?

A．The hose.

B．The people.

C．The author.

D．The pump.

3. What does the author suggest readers to do in the last two paragraphs?

A．Separate yourselves from the outside.	B．Spend more time being an observer.
C．Avoid being an object of observation.	D．Work bard to increase happiness.

4. What might the author continue talking about?

A．How to be aware of happiness.	B．How to spend our spare time.
C．How to reduce the state of “me-self”.	D．How to adjust our moods.

5 . Developing and maintaining healthy friendships involves give-and -take.     1     Letting friends know you care about them and appreciate them can help strengthen your bond. It’s as important for you to be a good friend as it is to surround yourself with good friends.

To nurture your friendships:

Be kind. This most-basic behavior remains the core of successful relationships.     2     Every act of kindness and every expression of gratitude are deposits into this account, while criticism and negativity draw down the account.

Be a good listener.     3     Let the other person know you are paying close attention through eye contact, body language and occasional brief comments such as, “That sounds fun.” When friends share details of hard times or difficult experiences, be empathetic, but don’t give advice unless your friends ask for it.

Open up. Build intimacy with your friends by opening up about yourself. Being willing to disclose personal experiences and concerns shows that your friend holds a special place in your life, and it may deepen your connection.

    4     Being responsible, reliable and dependable is key to forming strong friendships. You’re your engagements and arrive on time. Follow through on commitments you’ve made to your friends. When your friends share confidential information, keep it private.

Make yourself available.     5     Make an effort to see new friends regularly, and to check in with them in between meet ups. You may feel awkward the first few times you talk on the phone or get together, but this feeling is likely to pass as you get more comfortable with each other.

A．Show that you can be trusted.

B．Ask what’s going on in your friends’ lives.

C．Think of friendship as an emotional bank account.

D．It’s never too late to reconnect with old friends.

E．Building a close friendship takes time—together.

F．Invest time in making friends and strengthening your friendships.

G．Sometimes you’re the one giving support, and other times you’re on the receiving end.

6 . You have an important exam in a few days and you’re not feeling prepared. With only a short time to go, you may try four strategies here.     1     .

Get organized

Time-poor students should use a planner to identify the time available for study.     2     . Being organized with your study materials helps you to be organized in your thinking too, as you can easily access the materials you need.

Take and reflect on notes

Have you ever tried to recall what you learned a week ago and found it’s as if it’s been wiped from your memory?     3     . An active note-taking process is important to help you transfer new information from short-term memory and then recall it more easily after it is stored in the long-term memory.

    4    

Research has found the rate you forget information is minimized if you interact with new information within 24 hours of first receiving it. A second, shorter repetition within 24 hours brings recall back up to 100%. A third repetition within a week for an even shorter time brings recall back to 100%.

Self-testing

Self-testing is a powerful way to study and learn. And flash cards are a great way to help you to self-test.     5     . You never know when you’ll get a few minutes for some quick studying, so always be prepared If you have a five-minute break between classes or on the bus, for example, you can pull your cards out for a quick study session.

A．Always take them along with you

B．Keep interacting with the content

C．Focus on one thing for an extended time

D．That’s where note-taking jumps in-as a hero

E．Then actually be disciplined and use that time to study

F．So you’d better mix up study sessions with various practices

G．They will improve your exam success and relieve your exam anxiety