2 . 听下面一段较长对话，回答以下小题。

3 . Bad judgments are meant to feed our own personal ego (自我意识) and put others down, which is not the healthiest thing to do. Here are five reasons why you should stop it now.

You start finding faults in everyone. Judging quickly moves on to more private areas of your life.     1     You fail to appreciate them and start getting dissatisfied with them. You become critical of even those who matter to you.

Judging becomes a habit. If you judge people, sooner or later, it becomes a habit, and you start judging everyone around you for the tiniest of things.     2     And you might dismiss even the best of people through these microscopic judgments.

People begin to distrust you. If you pass judgments about other people in front of your audience, you will lose their trust. As they will begin to feel that if you can judge others in front of them, you can talk about them behind their back.     3    

Judgment is a sign of unhappiness. If you are 100% happy with who you are, you are a lot less likely to feel the need to judge others. If you are self-assured, you will not feel the need to cast a downward glance at others.     4     Either way, it is a negative attitude.

    5     If you’re judging others, you’re probably judging yourself pretty harshly as well. You often tend to think that if you are judging people by what they wear, someone might in turn judge you, which, as a consequence, makes you extremely concerned with your appearance.

4 . Every day, as I took long walks through North Vancouver, I would think about the potential joys of a physically closer network. Wouldn’t it be great to have someone who could join me at a moment’s notice? How good would it be to have more non-scheduled hangs instead of ones that had to be planned weeks in advance?

This doesn’t have to be just a dream. Although technology is making it easier to maintain long-distance connections, nothing can replace seeing friends in person. Researchers have found that happiness spreads “like an emotional contagion (传染)”, especially among those who live close together.

Friends who live in the same city could decide to move within walking distance of one another — the same neighborhood, block, or even apartment building. Doing so would likely involve a lot of effort, but the resulting community could pay emotional dividends for years. Doing so would make it easier to support one another materially and emotionally.

Moving close to your friends requires some masterminding. Cities can make doing so easier by ending single-family zoning codes and encouraging a variety of housing types in neighborhoods. But even without official policies, people can make it work on their own. Sam Unger, 32, a food scientist and a friend of mine, has created a chosen family like this in Montreal, where about 15 of her friends live within walking distance of one another. When someone moves away, they try to transfer (移交) their lease (租约) to other friends. And when pals based elsewhere in the city are looking to move, Unger will try selling them on the positives of her neighborhood and sometimes even look for housing for them. “It’s funny,” she told me. “The other day, I bought a fire extinguisher, and she’s like, ‘Oh, well, I have one. You could just call me if you had a fire, and I’d be right over with it.’”

5 . Recently, a topic featuring “Graduates avoid sending resumes out of social anxiety disorder” received many comments on Sina Weibo. It seems that social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia (恐惧症), is affecting many people’s lives. Over 80% of university students who took part in a survey tended to avoid social interaction due to an assumed social phobia.     1    

For those who have a social phobia, everyday social situations cause strong fear beyond their control because they fear being watched or judged negatively by others.

Having a social phobia can mean physical symptoms like blushing (脸红), upset stomach, or having trouble catching your breath. The good news is that it is treatable.    2     Avoiding social situations because of shyness might mean missing out on opportunities or being rude.

I used to be so shy that I avoided greeting people I knew by pretending to scroll (滚屏) on my phone or turning in another direction.     3    When I saw him, Istarted scrolling on my phone as usual to avoid greeting him. But he immediately saw through it and asked,“Why did you pretend not to see me?” After my explanation, he replied, “I can relate to feeling awkward, but once someone realizes that you’re avoiding him, it can come across as rude.”

    4    Being afraid of negative comments, they simply shut themselves down so that no one will have the chance to judge them. But socializing not only leads to judgment. If you’re lucky enough, you may come across someone who gives direct but honest feedback, like what the senior journalist did for me. But if some people only offer you negative judgment, simply stay away from them.     5    Why give up on opportunities for social interaction because of fears of comments and judgment?

6 . Boundaries are personal guidelines that define what is and isn’t okay in your interpersonal relationships. As everyone has different needs and comfort levels, they may appear different for each person. Having healthy boundaries may provide such benefits as avoiding burnout, boosting self-esteem and maintaining personal space.     1     After setting your boundaries, it’s helpful to review them on a regular basis to remain relevant to your life circumstances.

    2     The way you set them reflects your attitude to taking responsibility in life. Taking the time to think about your wants and needs in different situations will help you understand how your values influence boundary-setting. Once you have made the list of your values, needs, and wants, use that knowledge to establish clear boundaries that respect yourself and those around you.

Once you have identified your boundaries, it is important to communicate them effectively.     3     Express your ideas in an open and straightforward manner; speak up for yourself so that others can hear, understand and respect your needs. Additionally, take a step back if tensions arise during a conversation about setting boundaries. Allow yourself or the other person to cool down before restarting the conversation.     4    

When learning how to set healthy boundaries, it is essential to learn how to say “no”. Saying “yes” to everything can lead to stress, burnout, and frustration. It is important to understand what you consider acceptable and unacceptable, setting limits that reflect those standards.     5     If the situation persists, remove yourself from it respectfully. You deserve more than surrounding yourself with people who don’t value your values.

7 . Your neighbors are probably the first line of defense in case of any problematic situation.     1     It gives you an assurance that you have people close by looking out for you. Here are easily applicable tips on creating stronger neighbor relationships.

The first step is introducing yourself when you move to a new neighborhood or when a newcomer moves in. Leave them a note under their door to introduce yourself.     2     It doesn’t have to cost you a fortune and opting for a potted plant or baked biscuits will do. These actions present excellent opportunities to connect with them.

Be respectful of your neighbors. It’s in poor taste to have regular insensitive parties at your place causing disturbances. Before your party, it’s good practice to notify your neighbors. Besides, avoid chatting them up for hours on end, which may be inconvenient, especially if you don’t know their schedules.     3     When you borrow anything, return it in due time. If you accidentally break their things, replace them without being asked to.

    4     You could offer to babysit your neighbors’ kids, help with snow removals or even keep an eye on their home when they’re away. Such acts of reaching out to your neighbors make for stronger relationships.

As Emma Seppälä put it, “social connectedness generates a positive feedback loop (圈) of social, emotional and physical well-being.” It feels so easy to just stay home without having to engage with your neighbors but connecting with them is worth the effort.     5    

8 . Meeting people is the first step to make friends.     1     Here are some useful tips.

Small talk can make people feel false and meaningless.     2     By making small talk, you show that you’re friendly and open to communicating. In that way, small talk helps you to make the first connection with potential (潜在的) new friends. If someone doesn’t make any small talk, we might think that they don’t want to make friends with us, that they don’t like us, or that they’re in a bad mood.

    3    

When you talk to someone new and realize that you have similar interests, the conversation usually goes from stiff (生硬的) to fun and interesting. Therefore, make it a habit to find out if you have any mutual interests or something in common. You can do this by mentioning things that interest you and seeing how they answer.

Don’t judge people too quickly. Try not to think that they are shallow (肤浅的), boring, or that you have nothing to talk about. If everyone seems uninterested, it might be because you have been in small talk.     4    

When you try to make people like you, it will become easier for you to make friends.     5     If we are with someone with a positive experience, we like that person more.

9 . How To Stop Bein g A People Pleaser

As a recovering people pleaser, I spent much of my life keeping others happy. Breaking this habit meant stepping on a few toes. However, I’ve become a happier person as a result. Here are some tips I used to stop being a people pleaser.

Identify your priorities. Take a moment to think about why you are trying to learn how to stop being a people pleaser.     1     Why do you feel the need to keep them happy? Answering these questions will help you set a goal that you can hold yourself accountable to.

Just say “no”. One reason why people pleasers say “yes” to everything is that they fear disappointing others.     2     If you are a people pleaser, you are likely to spend lots of energy trying to control how people feel about you. The best thing you can do is let them feel their feelings. It will feel liberating to free yourself from being responsible for someone else’s reaction.

    3     Saying “no” is a good way to set better boundaries in your important relationships. All healthy relationships have their own boundaries. If you haven’t set boundaries in your relationships, the odds are that at some point you will end up feeling pressured to do something you don’t want to do.

Accept yourself. Many people pleasers are insecure about who they are.     4     Check out our summary of Brené Brown’s the Gifts of Imperfection to learn how to accept your imperfections and love yourself.

Remember that you cannot please everyone. No matter what you do there will always be someone who is unhappy with your choices.     5    

10 . Five Tips to Develop Leadership Qualities

●Know about yourself to develop your self-awareness. A good leader is in tune not only with their team members but with themselves as well.     1     Think about how your personality will affect your team members.

●Learn as much as you can about your field.     2     Knowing what you’re talking about will build your confidence and earn your team’s trust. While it’s impossible to know everything, your team might doubt your abilities if you say “I don’t know” to every question they ask.

●Find a consultant who can teach you new skills. There’s always room to grow, even if you’re in a top leadership position.     3     Ask them to chat over coffee or lunch, or see if they’re open to being a long-term mentor. When you meet, ask them things like, “What qualities do you look for in a leader?” “How do you gain people’s respect?” and “What’s the most challenging part about being a leader?” and see what they have to say. Look for role models who’ve overcome challenges and reached goals similar to your own.

●    4     A good leader is able to resolve conflicts between others at work without taking sides. If there’s a heated disagreement between team members, work with them to identify the root of the issue and listen to both sides of the story. After that, open up a dialogue to begin looking for a solution that will benefit both parties.

●Go into things with a positive mindset. Positivity is great for boosting your team’s morale (士气), increasing productivity, and forming healthy relationships between team members. Discouraging gossip (流言蜚语) amongst team members can go a long way towards creating a more positive environment.     5