1 . Being a social butterfly just might change your brain: In people with a large network of friends and excellent social skills, certain brain regions are bigger and _______ connected than in people with fewer friends, a new study finds.

The research suggests a _______ between social interactions and brain structure. “We’re interested in how your brain is able to allow you to _______ the right way in complex social environments,” Mary Ann Noonan said, a neuroscientist (神经学家) at Oxford University. Studies in monkeys have shown that brain areas involved in face processing and in predicting the _______ of others are larger in animals living in large social groups than in ones living in smaller groups.

To investigate these brain _______ in humans, Noonan and her colleagues found 18 participants for a structural brain-imaging study. They asked people how many _______ they had experienced in the past month, in order to determine the size of their social networks. As was the case in monkeys, some brain areas were _______ and better connected in people with larger social networks. “These different brain regions are all singing _______ songs,” Noonan said. “ _______ areas are all singing the same song, and when they’re connected better, they’re singing more harmoniously with each other.”

The researchers also tested whether the size of a person’s social network was connected with ________ in white-matter pathways, the nerve fibers (纤维) that connect different brain regions. ________ , they found that white-matter pathways were better connected in people with bigger social networks. “The nerves were more like a Los Angeles freeway than a ________ road,” Noonan said.

The researchers couldn’t say whether social interaction ________ these changes in brain structure and connectivity, or whether the brain determined how social someone was. In the case of the monkeys, the researchers asked and wrote down the size of the animals’ social network, so they ________ that social-group size was causing the brain differences. It can be inferred that a similar process takes place in human brains, but to prove the ________ , long-term studies are needed, Noonan told Live Science.

4 . How to treat each other well

The following tips can help you enjoy a healthy and satisfying relationship.

Create a foundation of respect.     1    . However, it is important to make sure that you and your partner are rooted in respect. Act in ways that demand respect from your partner. Struggle to treat each other with respect at all times, even when you are mad at each other.

Appreciate each other. A healthy relationship should be one in which you and your partner feel appreciated. Often, relationships are built from many small things added one on top of the other.     2    . Instead of focusing on mistakes your partner makes, focus on the ways your partner adds to your life. When you notice something, speak out and show your appreciation.

    3    . It’s easy to change from face-to-face time together to digital communication. Spending quality time together can help strengthen your relationship and increase the bond you and your partner feel together.     4    . It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee together each morning or reading together at night.

Expect changes. Know that your relationship will likely change. Allow growth for yourself, your partner, and for the relationship itself.     5    . Change is inevitable, so welcome changes and accept that the relationship will adapt.

6 . Do you have a hard time saying“no”? If “yes” rules your life and “no” doesn’t exist, here are some tips for you to say “no” without feeling bad.

If you’re just starting out, you don’t have to jump straight to “no”.     1     . But saying later is much easier. Make your default (预设) response to any request with “Let me get back to you later.”Don’t rely on your “laters” forever, because too many would make you unreliable in the long run.

Sometimes, invites or requests happen naturally and in person, requiring an answer immediately.     2    . If you’re afraid of coming off as robotic or unnatural, it helps to rehearse your lines in front of a mirror.

Offering an excuse may seem polite to decline a request, but it sets you up for an awkward situation. No matter what excuse you offer, people who are determined to get you to say “yes” will come up with a way to reel (卷轴) you in.    4    . If you say “no” to them, you can still soften the blow by being polite and appreciative.

If the person asking you for something is someone who you want to maintain a positive relationship with, you can decrease the impact of your “no” by offering an alternative.     5    . Hence, the person won’t feel upset and you don’t feel guilty for your“no”, either. It is a win-win situation!

7 . “Shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life that you’d like to,” the Smiths once sang. However, research suggests that may not be the case when working as a team.

Researchers have found that when animals temper their personalities because of social rules, the efficiency of a group to undertake risky missions—such as foraging (觅食) for food—is boosted. “We see this phenomenon happening when we mix together a school of fish with wildly different personalities: the very fearless individuals and the very shy individuals tend to control what they would normally be doing when they stick with the rest of the group,” said Dr. Sean Rands, the lead author of the research at the University of Bristol.

Writing in the journal PLoS Computational Biology, the researchers reported how they built a computer model to investigate the impact of social conventions and animals’ personalities on the movement of individuals within a group. The model was based on an assumption in which a group of animals in a safe “home” set out to travel to a food foraging site some distance away.

The results revealed that when no social conventions were in place, their movements were governed by their personalities alone—in other words how fearless or shy they were determined how quickly they left home and arrived at the foraging site. However, when social conventions were introduced, so that the individuals had to keep an eye on each other and adjust their movements accordingly, the impact of personality reduced with less variation in how quickly they reached the destination. The team found where social conventions were present, the group foraged more efficiently than when individuals behaved independently. “We find that if individuals pay attention to the other members of the group, the group will tend to remain at the safe site for longer, but then travel faster towards the foraging site,” the team wrote.

Rands added that for many social animals, being part of a group can bring huge benefits, and these can outweigh the influence of personality.

8 . Why Talking to Strangers Is Good for You, Them and All of Us

In childhood, we’re told: “Don’t talk to strangers.” But this is short-sighted advice because after we finish high school and move out into the world, everyone we encounter is a stranger. And we’re a social species, which means we need each other.     1     Furthermore, we need to get good at interacting with them, both to get help when we need it and to be of use to them.

Let’s start with actual strangers-like the people you pass on the street. When you look right through someone as if they aren’t there, they feel a little bad.     2     When you give someone eye contact and a smile, it makes them feel good. And you feel good too when they do it back to you.

What about the humans you interact with regularly yet don’t really know, like the e servers at your coffee shop, the clerks at your grocery store, your postal carrier and so on? Show them that they matter by saying “How’s your day going?”     3     When you’re kind to someone, you, they and everyone who observes your interaction will get a lift from your act of kindness.

    4     For years, although it’s hard for me to admit this, I’d drive home after work each day and realize that I didn’t even know my neighbors. So I formed a monthly writing group with some of them in order to experience the real connections that form from hearing each others’ stories.     5     You have the power to make your community stronger like this, and meanwhile, it is good for you, it’s good for them, and it’s good for all of us.

10 . Each April Thais celebrate their “Thai New Year” with a great water fight on the streets. People throw water at everyone passing by and even block the road so they can enter buses and “paint the faces” of all the passengers. But there are a few people who don’t wish to participate in the fun. When I first experienced this celebration, I was one of them.

The first time our bus was stopped, 4 people coming into the bus intended to paint everyone’s face. I slowly shook my head to say “No, thank you.”, but a man came from behind me and quickly painted my face. Then the other three felt inspired and added a little more “paint” to my face. I didn’t actively stop them for fear that if I did, they would become more aggressive (好斗的) and throw even more water at me and possibly my backpack, which would damage whatever was inside.

Even though it happened only once, emotionally it was very frightening because I felt so powerless. The experience caused me to think a lot about respect and moral autonomy or individual judgment vs “permission” from the authorities. On this day, people of Thailand, including the police, give “permission” for these activities. So what about respect for the individual? If someone does not want to be painted, is it OK to do it anyhow because the majority is having a good time and sincerely believes it is harmless fun, or because the police allow it?

In my opinion, if someone does not want to have something done to them, then you’re supposed to respect their decision. You can’t rely on the authorities or some group to tell you if something is right or wrong or if you should or shouldn’t do something. I believe this is a much healthier way of living with one another in this world.