1 . Passive-aggressive (消极抗拒) behaviour can feel “normal”—especially if it’s how we’ve grown up seeing others around us deal with relationship issues. Whether done verbally (言语上) or nonverbally, passive aggression is meant to avoid hurting someone else’s feelings, escape conflict, or show disagreement without being outspoken in it.
It’s a more common way of dealing with things than you might think. But why are we passive-aggressive? What are the signs we can look out for to recognize being passive-aggressive? And how does it affect us?
There are many reasons why someone might display passive-aggressive behaviour, including insecurity or fear of losing control, as well as using it as a way to handle feelings of stress, anxiety, or depression. It can also be a way to try to deal with rejection or conflict, because of feelings of under-appreciation, or due to worry that any natural feelings of anger aren’t the right response, and so it becomes an attempt to sugarcoat things.
We almost all exhibit signs of passive aggression from time to time, but when it becomes a habit within our relationships, it can become upsetting for the other person involved, causing a divide. And for the person exhibiting this behaviour, their inability to say what is wrong clearly can often worsen the issue as it isn’t being dealt with directly. Ultimately, passive aggression prevents change and growth, leading to more negative behaviour, the breakdown of trust, and further relationship problems.
Admitting that you have a problem and need to change is not just good for your relationship, but also a huge help in your life. If you’re struggling and aren’t sure where to begin, ask yourself “Could I unintentionally (or intentionally) be hurting my relationship? Is it worth saving my relationship, or do I want to risk things getting worse? Would I be happy if my partner acted the way I’ve been acting?”
Change doesn’t happen overnight, but, with time and effort, you can find new, healthier ways of communicating how you are feeling, and start to strengthen the bonds within your relationship.
1. What is the possible passive-aggressive response to displeasure?A.Turning to rude languages. | B.Displaying violent behavior. |
C.Hiding his true inner feelings. | D.Coming into conflict with others. |
A.They are sometimes overconfident in themselves. |
B.They believe conflicts should be resolved directly. |
C.Their passive-aggressive behavior doesn’t last long. |
D.Their behaviour likely leads to more negative results. |
A.The behavior. | B.The divide. | C.The inability. | D.The habit. |
A.Start with a self-reflection. | B.Apologize to the other side. |
C.Copy how the partner acts. | D.Let time cure everything. |
2 . Only about 20% of U.S.adults say they have a best friend at work.Should the other 80% start looking for one?Yes and no.
But if becoming best friends with your coworkers feels too daunting (使人气馁的),or just not your style,you can still benefit from social support.When most people hear “social support”,they think of emotional support,like venting (发泄) to a coworker over coffee, Heaney says.
A.But it comes in many forms |
B.Research on the topic is clear |
C.The goal isn’t necessarily to make lifelong friends |
D.It’s easy to talk yourself out of making these gestures |
E.It s often considered equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day |
F.That could mean seeking input from people at all levels of the company |
G.There’s no doubt that social support in the workplace is important for your health |
3 . Around the globe, about 1 in 4 adults says they’re lonely. And the consequences of long-term social disconnection can be everything from an increased risk of heart attacks to dementia (痴呆). The following offers a road map to make connections.
Be curious. It’s easier to connect with people if you have shared interests or experiences, so start paying attention to what’s in your mind. What motivates you? What excites you?
Make something. When experts advise making something, people will say, “Well, I’m not Picasso. I don’t know how to do a fancy painting. ” Of course, you’re not!
Find a group that matches your interests. Whether it’s volunteering fora cause or playing frisbee (飞盘), try to find others who share your interests. There’s even an online group that has a quirky shared interest: a fascination with brown bears in Alaska, which led to Fat Bear Week. In interactions with others, you can begin to reveal yourself and share the unique things that matter to you.
Other people’s loneliness matters too.
A.Pour out your hard feelings. |
B.Loneliness can be infectious. |
C.Take a risk by having conversations. |
D.You should tolerate the risk of being lonely. |
E.But the opportunities for creative expression are endless. |
F.Knowing yourself can be a first step to bonding with others. |
G.Then, other people recognize that and share their story in return. |
4 . Building Up Your Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and emotionally engage with others. It is viewed as the fundamental social glue and main psychological mechanism, which enables us to relate to each other, maintain social relations and create a more sympathetic world.
Practice active listening
Listening is one of the most effective ways you can demonstrate empathy to other people. Active listening requires three things. To begin with, paraphrase what the person said to show that you understood the content.
Challenge your prejudices and assumptions
Ask yourself why you think that all poor people are lazy, or all people with mental health issues are dangerous. A lot of assumptions and prejudices are based on misinformation that has become widespread.
Treat people as being important
Recognize that you aren’t the only one living in this world and that you aren’t some superior being.
This means getting a direct experience of another person’s life, the “walk a mile in another person’s shoes” proverb. You don’t have to go quite that far, but consider taking on all the things that your mother does in a day for an entire week. You’ll discover how difficult it is to manage both the home and work, and you’ll have a better appreciation for how much work she has to do. You may even decide to pitch in a bit more.
In conclusion, building up your empathy takes time and effort, but it is worth it. So start practicing today and make a positive impact on the world around you.
A.Practice experiential empathy |
B.Leave each person as they are |
C.Practice gratitude and appreciation |
D.Take each person as they come |
E.Reflect on your emotional reaction as well |
F.However, empathy is not something we are born with |
G.Educate yourself and listen to the groups that are affected by this misinformation |
5 . Young children are always watching-including when people swap spit through actions like food sharing. Such behavior helps babies infer who is in close relationships with one another, a study suggests.
Typically, people are more likely to engage in activities that can lead to an exchange of saliva (唾液), such as kissing or sharing an ice cream, with family members or close friends than with an acquaintance. So saliva sharing can be a marker of “thick relationships, “ or people with strong attachments, says MIT developmental psychologist Ashley Thomas.
To see if young children might use saliva sharing as a social cue for close bonds, Thomas and colleagues ran experiments of people engaging with puppets(木偶). When shown a puppet seemingly crying, kids of 8 months old were more likely to look at an adult who had previously shared saliva with the puppet than an adult who hadn’t, the team reports.
Scientists, of course, can’t know exactly babies’ thought. But tracking where they look offers hints. The team used where the kids looked first when a puppet showed distress as an indicator of their understanding of the relationship.
In some experiments, the team showed 8- to 10-month-olds or 16- to 18-month-olds videos of a woman sharing an orange slice with a puppet. A second video depicted another woman and the puppet playing with a ball. During a final video, which showed the puppet crying while seated between the two women, the kids’ eyes were more often drawn to the woman who had shared the orange.
The team saw similar results in another experiment. One woman stuck her finger in her mouth and then in one puppet’s mouth to share saliva. For the other, she touched only her forehead and then the puppet’s forehead. After the woman showed distress, kids spent more time looking at the puppet that had seemingly swapped saliva.
It’s unclear how the findings relate to children’s daily lives. Future studies could switch out actresses for family members to better understand the role saliva may play in distinguishing relationships. Other cues, such as hugging, may also play a role, Thomas says.
1. What is the main finding of the study?A.Saliva-sharing behavior is a cultural phenomenon. |
B.Saliva-sharing is an indicator of trust between individuals. |
C.Saliva-sharing can help children distinguish close relationship. |
D.Children can understand relationships through saliva-sharing behavior. |
A.It is a natural behavior for young children. |
B.It can be an indicator of strong attachments between people. |
C.It is a cultural behavior young children learn from their parents. |
D.It is a result of the development of young children’s social skills. |
A.Comparison. | B.Reference. | C.Inference. | D.Description. |
A.The limitations of the current study. |
B.The importance of saliva in social relationships. |
C.The role of other cues in distinguishing relationships. |
D.Saliva sharing can affect children’s social development. |
6 . Have you ever been in mid-conversation with someone, when you look over and find them standing in the same position as you or holding the same facial expression? It may seem like they have consciously copied you, but it is much more likely that it is the chameleon (变色龙) effect at play.
The chameleon effect is the unconscious imitation of another person’s gestures or behavior. Just as a chameleon attempts to match any environment’s colors, people acquire the behavior of others to bring them closer together and help make their interactions smooth.
The chameleon effect was confirmed in an experiment by psychologists John Bargh and Tanya Chartrand in 1999. The part of their experiment included 78 people, who each spoke with an experimenter. During the test, Bargh and Chartrand studied whether participants would copy the actions of someone they hadn’t met before, like moving the foot and touching the face. The second part measured the impact that copying someone has on the person being imitated.
In the first stage, participants increased their face touching by 20% and their foot movement by 50% while in conversation about a photograph with the experimenter. The individuals weren’t aware of what they were being studied for, and the photograph was used to catch their attention to insure unconscious acts. The second stage involved half of the participants being copied, and then rating the likability of the experimenter. The results, showed that those who were imitated scored the experimenter higher. It has shown that when someone copies our behavior, we develop more positive feelings about them. These interactions could be a person unconsciously willing to be liked, and forming a moment of connection.
The main reasons behind humans’ imitation are positive. However, when people carry this chameleon effect to the extreme, they can lose their sense of self. Those who change their entire personalities in different groups often go undetected. But more common signs of the chameleon effect are easier to notice. Next time you are in a social gathering, take a look around and you might just see some chameleons for yourself.
1. Why do people imitate others’ behavior?A.To show admiration for others. | B.To adapt to the surroundings. |
C.To establish a connection with others. | D.To attract others’ attention. |
A.By directing their attention to a photo. | B.By keeping an eye on their actions. |
C.By telling them the purpose of the study. | D.By evaluating the impacts of imitation. |
A.People tend to like those who imitate their behavior. |
B.Too much of the chameleon effect can be beneficial. |
C.People imitating others are not easy to be detected. |
D.The copied movements help people to feel relaxed. |
A.Students adopt teachers’ accents for fun after class. |
B.People change their habits to please others on purpose. |
C.A comedian copies a celebrity vividly on stage. |
D.A husband and his wife share similar behaviors over time. |
7 . Feel exhausted after a party? Rather see one close friend than a group of acquaintances? Enjoy your own company? In our world, that makes you an introvert (内向的人). However, there’s another possible explanation — vertical attachment. If you are closer to your parents and family members than to your peers, you are vertically attached, which means you rely more on family for comfort.
If you are closer to your peers, then you are peer attached. We live in a peer-oriented world. We believe that having lots of friends means that we are well-adjusted. We put our kids in playgroups and daycare for peer interaction. We expect teenagers to want to hang out with their friends, thinking it is the natural way of things.
Result? Generations often feel worlds apart. We use different language, dress, and technology apps. Even if multiple generations are invited to the same party, the kids go to the basement playroom while the parents stay upstairs.
Vertically-attached individuals can feel out of place in this context, demonstrating the traces of introversion. Will they be exhausted after a party with same-aged acquaintances? Absolutely. Would they rather spend time with one close friend? Sure. Do they enjoy alone time? Yes, more than they enjoy time fitting in with peers.
It’s normal that many people need alone time to recharge. However, vertically-attached people often label themselves as introverted. They feel insecure that others have more friends and live richer lives. They claim that their family attachments arise from their loved ones being stuck with them.
If you feel these insecurities, know that there is nothing wrong with you, and you are not missing out on anything. Your attachment style is just different from the culture where you live. Have confidence in the strength of the relationships you have, whether it is with a mom who feels more like a best friend, or a grandmother with whom you can share anything. They are meaningful, enriching relationships, even if they look different from the cultural norm.
1. Who is vertically attached according to the text?A.Mike, who feels at ease with his teachers. |
B.Maggie, who enjoys film time alone at weekends. |
C.Tom, who feels burnt out after a family get-together. |
D.Lisa, who often turns to her dad when things are hard. |
A.Younger generations should be self-disciplined. |
B.Being sociable is a desired quality for their children. |
C.Their children need more friends than they themselves do. |
D.Different generations should have different circles of acquaintances. |
A.Be that as it may, just leave it as it is. |
B.Never underestimate your inner power. |
C.Hang out more with friends and adjust to it. |
D.Treat others the way you want to be treated. |
A.Biased. | B.Objective. | C.Unconcerned. | D.Critical. |
8 . Go on a 15-minute Tour
Didn’t someone say that life is about the journey, not the destination?
To commit some time to the journey, take some time to walk around where you work and notice your surroundings.
After your first observation tour, select a different day to tour your workspace for moods. Other people’s moods can provide you with critical clues about how things are going.
Schedule 15 minutes to tour your workplace twice a week for a month and be sure to avoid making too many assumptions or conclusions — just simply observe.
A.You’ll be amazed at what you see along the way. |
B.Spare a little time to closely monitor each person’s progress. |
C.Notice what people may be feeling when you drop by to talk briefly. |
D.During any workday, take just 15 minutes to observe neglected things. |
E.You generally love the breathtaking landscape and people’s performances. |
F.Going on a short tour will help you get in tune with other people and their emotions. |
G.To become socially aware, remember to enjoy the journey and notice people along the way. |
9 . “Whenever I am in a group of people, I feel like everyone knows what to say except me. When I try to join in, I get anxious and have a struggle
Individuals experiencing this type of social
Fitting into groups of people requires
Some individuals are like chameleon (变色龙) in that they
A.reading | B.pronouncing | C.grasping | D.writing |
A.exposed | B.caged | C.perceived | D.judged |
A.remoteness | B.discomfort | C.event | D.reality |
A.transparent | B.rigid | C.urgent | D.disappointed |
A.insisting on | B.breaking with | C.sticking up | D.talking over |
A.critical | B.effective | C.contradictory | D.tentative |
A.contribution | B.requirement | C.assignment | D.socialization |
A.patience | B.honesty | C.curiosity | D.agreement |
A.sacrifice | B.claim | C.examine | D.present |
A.hobbies | B.approaches | C.views | D.promises |
A.naturally | B.partly | C.vaguely | D.merely |
A.explain | B.support | C.help | D.adapt |
A.conclusion | B.awareness | C.decision | D.point |
A.rewarded | B.removed | C.disconnected | D.connected |
A.resist | B.allow | C.miss | D.undergo |
10 . Most people enjoy variety. We like to eat different foods from meal to meal. We wear different clothes. We like to try new activities and visit new places. We become bored when there is little variety. Nevertheless, there’s one place where we tend to dislike variety, and that’s in each other. We often feel uncomfortable with people who practise different habits, or hold beliefs or values that we do not share.
There are reasons for this. When we are exposed to new and different things, our brain works a bit harder than usual. When we’re learning, our nerve cells require more resources, such as water, salt, and various other chemicals. This extra metabolic (新陈代谢的) activity can feel unsettling and unpleasant. And it can feel worse if our nervous system is already under pressure, like in the midst of the pandemic.
This sort of variation may be uncomfortable for individuals, but it’s critical to the survival of any species. If all finches (雀科鸣鸟) were identical, for example, and their environment changed in some significant, harmful ways, like an increase in the temperature or a decrease in water, all of them would be equally affected and the species might become extinct. This insight into variation comes from Charles Darwin, and it’s known as population thinking. Most people associate Darwin with his evolutionary theory of natural selection, but population thinking may be an even greater scientific achievement. The idea of “survival of the fittest” implies that individuals must vary. Some are more suited than others for a given environment, making it easier for them to survive, grow, and reproduce. Variation is therefore a prerequisite for natural selection to work.
Dealing with the vast variety of humankind can be demanding and even annoying at times, but it’s a good investment, sort of like exercise for your brain. When you meet someone who looks different or thinks differently from you, treat your discomfort as a cue to be curious and learn instead of a signal of a problem. Don’t hold the view that the other person should be silenced. Ultimately, this mindset can make you more flexible in adapting to challenging situations, and more adaptable to change.
1. Which of the following might make people feel uncomfortable?A.Having an adventure in the wild. |
B.Taking a trip to a foreign country. |
C.Sharing traveling experiences with others. |
D.Socializing with people from diverse cultures. |
A.People’s unwillingness to deal with new things. |
B.The significance of learning new things in our life. |
C.The biological explanations for people’s discomfort. |
D.The role of the nervous system in learning new things. |
A.Requirement. | B.Substitute. | C.Motivation. | D.Challenge. |
A.Why we tend to chase and enjoy variation. |
B.How we can benefit from seeking variation. |
C.How we should treat the differences we find in others. |
D.Why we should get along with people different from us. |