1 . People often say that the Englishman’s home is his castle. They mean that the home is very important and personal to him. Most people in Britain live in houses rather than flats, and many people own their homes. This means that they can make them individual; they can paint them, and change them in any way they like. Most houses have a garden, even if it is a very small one, and the garden is usually loved. The house and the garden are the private space of the individual.

People usually like to mark their space. Are you sitting now in your home or on a train? Have you marked the space around yourself as your? If you are on the train you may put your coat or small bag on the seat beside you. If you share a flat, you may have one corner or chair which is your own.

Once I was travelling on a train to London. I was in a section for four people and there was a table between us. There was no space on my side of the table at all. I was angry. Maybe he thought that he owned the whole table. I had read a book about non­verbal communication, so I took various papers out of my bag and put them on his briefcase! When I did this he stiffened and his eyes nearly popped (瞪出) out of his head. I had invaded (侵犯) his space! A few minutes later I took my papers off his case in order to read them. He immediately moved his case to his side of the table. Of course, it is possible that he just wanted to be helpful to me!

If you are visiting another country, you may feel that you don’t have any private space. Hotel rooms look much the same in every country in the world. All day long, you share public spaces with other people. You see the local people in their private spaces and you feel lonely and “outside”. Local people can create their private spaces by talking about things you don’t know about. And you even feel that they like you to be outside them so that they will enjoy being inside even more! This is one of the difficulties of being a traveler! But if you understand it then it helps you. Haven’t you enjoyed being part of a group and “owning” a bit of space?

3 . Most of us are already aware of the direct effect we have on our friends and family. But we rarely consider that everything we think, feel, do, or say can spread far beyond the people we know. Conversely(相反地), our friends and family serve as conduits(渠道) for us to be influenced by hundreds or even thousands of other people. In a kind of social chain reaction, we can be deeply affected by events we do not witness that happen to people we do not know. As part of a social network, we go beyond ourselves, for good or ill, and become a part of something much larger.

Our connectedness carries with it fundamental implications(影响) for the way we understand the human condition. Social networks have value precisely because they can help us to achieve what we could not achieve on our own. Yet, social­network effects are not always positive. Depression, obesity, financial panic, and violence also spread. Social networks, it turns out, tend to magnify(放大) whatever they are seeded with.

Partly for this reason, social networks are creative. And what these networks create does not belong to any one individual—it is shared by all those in the network. In this way, a social network is like a commonly owned forest: We all stand to benefit from it, but we also must work together to ensure it remains healthy and productive. While social networks are fundamentally and distinctively human, and can be seen everywhere, they should not be taken for granted.

If you are happier or richer or healthier than others, it may have a lot to do with where you happen to be in the network, even if you cannot recognize your own location. And it may have a lot to do with the overall structure of the network, even if you cannot control that structure at all. And in some cases, the process feeds back to the network itself. A person with many friends may become rich and then attract even more friends. This rich­get­richer dynamic means social networks can dramatically reinforce two different kinds of inequality in our society: situational inequality and positional inequality.

Lawmakers have not yet considered the consequences of positional inequality. Still, understanding the way we are connected is an essential step in creating a more just society and in carrying out public policies affecting everything from public health to the economy. We might be better off vaccinating(接种疫苗) centrally located individuals rather than weak individuals. We might be better off helping interconnected groups of people to avoid criminal behaviour rather than preventing or punishing crimes one at a time.

If we want to understand how society works, we need to fill in the missing links between individuals. We need to understand how interconnections and interactions between people give rise to wholly new aspects of human experience that are not present in the individuals themselves. If we do not understand social networks, we cannot hope to fully understand either ourselves or the world we inhabit.

4 . Most of us are already aware of the direct effect we have on our friends and family. But we rarely consider that everything we think, feel, do, or say can spread far beyond the people we know. Conversely(相反地), our friends and family serve as conduits(渠道) for us to be influenced by hundreds or even thousands of other people. In a kind of social chain reaction, we can be deeply affected by events we do not witness that happen to people we do not know. As part of a social network, we go beyond ourselves, for good or ill, and become a part of something much larger.

Our connectedness carries with it fundamental implications(影响) for the way we understand the human condition. Social networks have value precisely because they can help us to achieve what we could not achieve on our own. Yet, social­network effects are not always positive. Depression, obesity, financial panic, and violence also spread. Social networks, it turns out, tend to magnify(放大) whatever they are seeded with.

Partly for this reason, social networks are creative. And what these networks create does not belong to any one individual—it is shared by all those in the network. In this way, a social network is like a commonly owned forest: We all stand to benefit from it, but we also must work together to ensure it remains healthy and productive. While social networks are fundamentally and distinctively human, and can be seen everywhere, they should not be taken for granted.

If you are happier or richer or healthier than others, it may have a lot to do with where you happen to be in the network, even if you cannot recognise your own location. And it may have a lot to do with the overall structure of the network, even if you cannot control that structure at all. And in some cases, the process feeds back to the network itself. A person with many friends may become rich and then attract even more friends. This rich­get­richer dynamic means social networks can dramatically reinforce two different kinds of inequality in our society: situational inequality and positional inequality.

Lawmakers have not yet considered the consequences of positional inequality. Still, understanding the way we are connected is an essential step in creating a more just society and in carrying out public policies affecting everything from public health to the economy. We might be better off vaccinating(接种疫苗) centrally located individuals rather than weak individuals. We might be better off helping interconnected groups of people to avoid criminal behaviour rather than preventing or punishing crimes one at a time.

If we want to understand how society works, we need to fill in the missing links between individuals. We need to understand how interconnections and interactions between people give rise to wholly new aspects of human experience that are not present in the individuals themselves. If we do not understand social networks, we cannot hope to fully understand either ourselves or the world we inhabit.

9 . Fear of missing out or FOMO is “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent”.     1    

Researchers have found that FOMO leads us to check social media more frequently, leading to a negative cycle that can be hard to break. FOMO can lead to feelings of depression, loneliness, and boredom.    2    We should do something to reduce the negative effect caused by FOMO.

Change your focus  

Rather than focusing on what you lack, try noticing what you have. “Meritocracy(精英) society” is advocated today, but in fact, everyone owns their own success.    3     Live in the moment, you will find nothing is missing out in our life!

Keep a journal  

It is common to post on social media to keep a record of the fun things you do. However, you may find yourself noticing a little too much about whether people are following your experiences online.    4    Keeping a journal can help you to shift your focus from public approval to private appreciation of the things that make your life great. This shift can sometimes help you to get out of the cycle of FOMO.

Seek out real connections  

You may find yourself seeking a greater connection when you are feeling depressed or anxious, and this is healthy.     5    Talking with families, making plans with a good friend, or creating a group outing that can help you to shake that feeling that you are missing out. It puts you in the center of the action.