1 . Go on a 15-minute Tour

Didn’t someone say that life is about the journey, not the destination?     1     when you are focused only on getting to the next meeting, starting your next class period, or hurrying to send an email, you’re missing all of the people between Points A and B.

To commit some time to the journey, take some time to walk around where you work and notice your surroundings.     2     Also, some of the smaller yet critical social clues that exist right under your nose will be concentrated on again.

    3     Things to look for include the look and feel of people’s work spaces, the timing of when different people move around the office, and which people seek interaction versus those who stay at their desks all day.

After your first observation tour, select a different day to tour your workspace for moods. Other people’s moods can provide you with critical clues about how things are going.     4     Focus on what you see, hear, and pick up on in other people.

Schedule 15 minutes to tour your workplace twice a week for a month and be sure to avoid making too many assumptions or conclusions — just simply observe.     5    

2 . Teens often find themselves in difficult situations with friends where they struggle to communicate their needs or their values. Even when their gut(直觉)is telling them that someone is crossing a line, they may struggle to express that the situation is making them uncomfortable. For this reason, parents need to work with their teens to establish boundaries with others.

Although boundaries are different for everyone, when done correctly, they help teens set limits with others in order to protect themselves. Setting boundaries allows teens to communicate with other people about what is OK and what is not OK with them and is important to teen friendships.

What are boundaries? Boundaries are limits teens establish in order to protect themselves in some way from being hurt, manipulated(操纵), or taken advantage of. As an expression of self-worth, boundaries let other people know who they are, what they value, and how they want to be treated. Additionally, boundaries help to create space between teens and other people when they need it.

Learning how to set boundaries - both physical and emotional - is an important part of growing up. It’s also essential to developing friendships that are respectful, supportive and healthy.

Unfortunately, though, many teens have trouble setting boundaries with their friends; and when this happens, it puts them at risk for everything from unhealthy friendships to bullying(霸凌) or abuse.

Of course, setting boundaries isn’t easy. It’s uncomfortable and forces a teen to stand up for themselves. What’s more, communicating boundaries to other people can make for difficult conversations or uncomfortable situations. Yet, it’s one of the most important things that teens need to learn how to do.

3 . Being vulnerable (脆弱的) is not a choice. It’s a _________ in our life. What we do with vulnerability can either open doors to deeper connections, or build walls that _________ progress and fulfillment.

Vulnerability _________ the state of being exposed to the possibility of being harmed, either physically or emotionally. It’s part of human _________ because we are vulnerable in some way at all times. We are vulnerable to viruses, accidents, misunderstandings and _________ caused by whatever reasons. The only choice we really have is whether to _________ it or not.

When some people _________ that they have no vulnerability, they are hard to develop meaningful social connections with others. They are just _________. No one likes to spend much time with people who are dishonest or _________ to open up their feelings. Most of the time, a great friendship starts by __________ each other’s vulnerability.

Indeed, it’s not easy for us to admit our vulnerability in front of others. In order to protect ourselves, we tend to struggle with __________. But in fact, when we are vulnerable with people, we have signaled that they can also __________ share their anxieties. And we don’t have to worry too much about the results because a far more common reaction of people is to respect our __________ instead of laughing at us. Under this shared circumstance, we become less __________ by vulnerability and also we __________ a relationship.

4 . How to Deal with a Colleague who Keeps Challenging Your Views

It can be difficult to develop an environment of teamwork when you continually run up against a colleague who challenges your views.     1    . This will ensure you respect one another, even when you disagree.

If a co-worker habitually challenges your ideas in a group discussion in a confrontational manner, don’t engage him or get into an argument. Pause for a moment, look the colleague in the eye.     2    . This will force the co-worker to either repeat his comment in front of everyone with the same level of confrontation, or soften his approach.

There’s a time and place for everything, including professional disagreements. If a colleague interrupts you or talks over you in an effort to contradict your point or insert (插入) his own opinion, gently remind him that you still have the floor. If the colleague is challenging something you say before you have a chance to address the point, note that as well.

    4    . Constructive debate and brainstorming can strengthen the overall performance of the entire team. Speak to your colleague at a time when you are emotionally stable. For example, you might say, “Can we agree to a respectful and civil way to discuss matters when it’s clear there’s no one ‘right’ answer?”

If a particular colleague has a long history of disagreeing with you, you might be able to anticipate his arguments or objections. Prepare rebuttals to address anything your colleague might throw at you.     5    . It also strengthens your points without being confrontational, and allows you to give him credit for his constructive comments when necessary.

6 . Do you have a hard time saying“no”? If “yes” rules your life and “no” doesn’t exist, here are some tips for you to say “no” without feeling bad.

If you’re just starting out, you don’t have to jump straight to “no”.     1     . But saying later is much easier. Make your default (预设) response to any request with “Let me get back to you later.”Don’t rely on your “laters” forever, because too many would make you unreliable in the long run.

Sometimes, invites or requests happen naturally and in person, requiring an answer immediately.     2    . If you’re afraid of coming off as robotic or unnatural, it helps to rehearse your lines in front of a mirror.

Offering an excuse may seem polite to decline a request, but it sets you up for an awkward situation. No matter what excuse you offer, people who are determined to get you to say “yes” will come up with a way to reel (卷轴) you in.    4    . If you say “no” to them, you can still soften the blow by being polite and appreciative.

If the person asking you for something is someone who you want to maintain a positive relationship with, you can decrease the impact of your “no” by offering an alternative.     5    . Hence, the person won’t feel upset and you don’t feel guilty for your“no”, either. It is a win-win situation!

8 . Asking for or accepting help can bring up a wide range of complicated emotions, like there’s the fear of being seen as needy or weak. Although accepting help from others is difficult, giving and receiving is a necessary part of life.

    1    . For many people, the difficulty in asking for or receiving help is tied to childhood. As psychologist Lisa Firestone points out, these feelings often develop from having our requests go unnoticed at an earlier age.

Sometimes these unnoticed requests are a result of neglect or because parents are too busy to notice. Maybe they were undertaking some jobs to make ends meet or didn’t have additional family support to spare.     2    . When your needs go unnoticed, it can create feelings of shame about asking for or receiving help, while also forming an extreme sense of independence.

How do you get better at accepting help? One way to get better at accepting help is to start with small requests, such as asking for directions.     3    . Practicing this in good environment can ease some of the emotions that can appear suddenly.

    4    . If you feel very uncomfortable, wait a few moments to let these feelings calm down before accepting or denying the help.

Helping others feels good. Although asking for help is hard, one way to make it a little easier is to focus on how it feels when you help others.     5    .

9 . Most of us associate awe (敬畏) with something rare and beautiful: nature, music or a spiritual experience. But people can waken awe too, and not just public heroes. Research shows that we can be awed by our nearest and dearest — the people sitting next to us on the couch, chatting on the other end of the phone, looking back at us over Zoom.     1    

Often, interpersonal awe is a response to life’s big, sweeping changes, such as witnessing a baby’s first steps.     2     John Bargh said he was “truly awestruck” — by his 5-year-old daughter while dining in a McDonald’s. When she heard another child crying, she grabbed the toy from her Happy Meal, walked over to the boy and handed it to him.

Though we can’t make someone else behave in a way that’s awesome, we can prepare ourselves to notice it when they do and boost the emotion’s positive effects.

Question your assumptions. Do you believe your partner is insensitive or your sibling is selfish? There may be a little truth to that, but it’s never the whole tale.     3     To increase your chances of feeling awed by the other person, ask yourself what’s going on in his or her life that you don’t know about.

Name awe when you see it. Speaking out “Wow, that was awesome!” is a simple way to help you identify and remember a special experience. Savor (品味) it in the moment and then tell others about it. This will reinforce your positive emotions.     4     Studies show that you will feel awe again simply by remembering an awe experience.

    5     This makes the other person feel good and can give your relationship a boost. And it will help you too: Studies show that people who practice gratitude have significantly higher levels of happiness and psychological well-being.

10 . It’s important to be able to talk to people when networking and building strong relationships. If you work in a professional role, you probably need to make small talk sometimes. However, you may don’t know how to make small talk. Don’t worry.     1    

Put your electronic devices away. The first step to making small talk is to put your devices away. This is a small but meaningful gesture in this digitalized world.     2     Giving your full attention to the person you are speaking to is good manners. Also, it offers a chance for you to build a relationship with him/her.

Listen first. In social situations, one way to show you are offering your full attention is to listen.     3     When you are listening, show you are paying attention by practising nonverbal cues like nodding and making eye contact. It’s also a good active listening practice to repeat what someone just told you.

Ask open questions.     4     For example. “How have things been?” is a better question than “Have you been alright?”. The latter requires a “yes or no” response, while the former draws out information in a conversational way.

    5     When someone tells you something in a small talk conversation, give your enthusiastic response. Your positivity not only can show you are paying attention but also might make them feel valued. This is good for building a relationship with someone you don’t know very well.