1 . Five Tips to Develop Leadership Qualities

●Know about yourself to develop your self-awareness. A good leader is in tune not only with their team members but with themselves as well.     1     Think about how your personality will affect your team members.

●Learn as much as you can about your field.     2     Knowing what you’re talking about will build your confidence and earn your team’s trust. While it’s impossible to know everything, your team might doubt your abilities if you say “I don’t know” to every question they ask.

●Find a consultant who can teach you new skills. There’s always room to grow, even if you’re in a top leadership position.     3     Ask them to chat over coffee or lunch, or see if they’re open to being a long-term mentor. When you meet, ask them things like, “What qualities do you look for in a leader?” “How do you gain people’s respect?” and “What’s the most challenging part about being a leader?” and see what they have to say. Look for role models who’ve overcome challenges and reached goals similar to your own.

●    4     A good leader is able to resolve conflicts between others at work without taking sides. If there’s a heated disagreement between team members, work with them to identify the root of the issue and listen to both sides of the story. After that, open up a dialogue to begin looking for a solution that will benefit both parties.

●Go into things with a positive mindset. Positivity is great for boosting your team’s morale (士气), increasing productivity, and forming healthy relationships between team members. Discouraging gossip (流言蜚语) amongst team members can go a long way towards creating a more positive environment.     5    

4 . Saying “thank you” when you receive an unexpected gift is all well and good, but how can you get a little creative with your appreciation? As it turns out, there are plenty of ways to express your gratitude to others while remaining gracious and sincere.     1    . We’ll show you how to say thank you in exciting and meaningful ways!

I appreciate this.     2    . A great “thank you” involves expressing appreciation for the gift and explaining why you’re grateful. For added value, you can even describe what you’ll do with their gifts if you have an idea.

You’ve made my day! Show them that their gifts turned your day around. Telling someone that they made your day will make the giver feel that their gifts are much more meaningful and worthwhile.     3     .

It’s like you read my mind! Thank you. Compliment (恭维) their gift-giving skills.     4     , it can be likely that they really know you and are anticipating your needs without having to ask you what you want! Show them how touched you are by letting them know that their gifts are exactly what you want.

    5    . Show them how surprised you are. If someone goes out of their way to give you an unexpected gift, make sure they know they succeeded in their mission to surprise and delight you. Say “thanks” and express your shock at the same time. For example, you should have seen me; my eyes almost popped out of my head! Thank you for the lovely surprise.

5 . Have you ever struggled to understand how someone else feels? Building up your empathy (同理心) skills helps you connect with your friends.     1    

What is empathy?

Empathy is a kind of capability that lets you step into someone else’s shoes and then figure out how they are feeling. For instance, if you can see your friend is upset after losing a football match and you support them by telling them some warm and motivating words, you are showing empathy. Miranda McKeamey set up an organization called EmpathyLab that builds empathy through reading.     2     “Empathy is a force for change,” she says.

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Scientists say empathy isn’t something you are born with, it’s a skill you can acquire through learning. One way you can do this is by active listening. When someone is talking to you, listen closely and respond in a way that shows you understand their situations and emotions thoroughly. Reading, advocated by EmpathyLab, is also a great way to boost empathy, since stories can take you inside someone else’s mind and show you the world through their eves and emotions.

Put empathy into action.

    4     This could mean trying out something that is important to a friend or family member, like exploring their favorite place. EmpathyLab advocated ideas for putting empathy into action in schools or at home. That might be connecting with someone new in your class and having a friendly conversation, or making small changes to your behaviour. All small acts of kindness to others can make a difference, which in turn will be copied by someone else.     5    

7 . For 85 years, the Harvard Study of Adult Development has tracked an original group of 724 men and more than 1,300 of their male and female descendants (后代) over three generations, asking thousands of questions and taking hundreds of measurements to find out what really keeps people healthy and happy.

Through all the years of studying these lives, one crucial factor stands out for the consistency and power of its bond to physical health, mental health and longevity: good relationships.

In 2008, researchers telephoned the wives and husbands of Harvard Study couples in their 80s every night for eight nights. Researchers spoke to each partner separately and asked them a series of questions about their days.

On days when these men and women spent more time in the company of others, they were happier. Like most older people, those in the Harvard Study experienced day-to-day rises and falls in their levels of physical pain and health difficulties. But researchers found that the people who were in more satisfying relationships were cushioned (缓冲) somewhat from these ups and downs of mood—their happiness did not decline as much on the days when they had more pain. Simply put, their happy marriages seemed to have a protective effect.

Elizabeth Gillespie, a therapist of couples, stated that although most of us found that our experience of relationships might be hard, and at times, impossible, it is essential to our well-being.

Today we live in much more complicated environments, so meeting our social needs presents different challenges. We might be sitting on a gold mine of vitality that we are not paying attention to, because it is hidden by the shiny appeal of smartphones or pushed to the side by work demands.

8 . How to treat each other well

The following tips can help you enjoy a healthy and satisfying relationship.

Create a foundation of respect.     1    . However, it is important to make sure that you and your partner are rooted in respect. Act in ways that demand respect from your partner. Struggle to treat each other with respect at all times, even when you are mad at each other.

Appreciate each other. A healthy relationship should be one in which you and your partner feel appreciated. Often, relationships are built from many small things added one on top of the other.     2    . Instead of focusing on mistakes your partner makes, focus on the ways your partner adds to your life. When you notice something, speak out and show your appreciation.

    3    . It’s easy to change from face-to-face time together to digital communication. Spending quality time together can help strengthen your relationship and increase the bond you and your partner feel together.     4    . It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee together each morning or reading together at night.

Expect changes. Know that your relationship will likely change. Allow growth for yourself, your partner, and for the relationship itself.     5    . Change is inevitable, so welcome changes and accept that the relationship will adapt.

9 . Have you ever wondered why different people react differently to the things you say and do? Maybe you told your parents a story that made them laugh, but found that the same story was upsetting to the kids at school. What caused them to react so differently?     1    

Boundaries are the cut-off point between what a person finds funny and charming, and what they find hurtful and inappropriate.     2     You may not always share a person’s boundaries, but it’s still important to respect them.

    3     That’s why it’s especially important to be a good listener when you’re first getting to know someone. Listening will help you get a feel for the topics they are comfortable discussing.     4     If they become withdrawn when you bring up a certain topic, or they try to change subjects, you may be making them uncomfortable. Then it is better to pull back in the conversation, and let them take the lead for a while.

While many people won’t tell you directly that you’ve made them uncomfortable, some people will.     5     In that case, it’s always best to apologize and correct the offensive behavior. Failing to take a step back can create a lot of discomfort for the people around you. Most people can forgive a one-time slip, but you should avoid making the same mistake repeatedly, which can damage a friendship.

10 . How to Deal with a Colleague who Keeps Challenging Your Views

It can be difficult to develop an environment of teamwork when you continually run up against a colleague who challenges your views.     1    . This will ensure you respect one another, even when you disagree.

If a co-worker habitually challenges your ideas in a group discussion in a confrontational manner, don’t engage him or get into an argument. Pause for a moment, look the colleague in the eye.     2    . This will force the co-worker to either repeat his comment in front of everyone with the same level of confrontation, or soften his approach.

There’s a time and place for everything, including professional disagreements. If a colleague interrupts you or talks over you in an effort to contradict your point or insert (插入) his own opinion, gently remind him that you still have the floor. If the colleague is challenging something you say before you have a chance to address the point, note that as well.

    4    . Constructive debate and brainstorming can strengthen the overall performance of the entire team. Speak to your colleague at a time when you are emotionally stable. For example, you might say, “Can we agree to a respectful and civil way to discuss matters when it’s clear there’s no one ‘right’ answer?”

If a particular colleague has a long history of disagreeing with you, you might be able to anticipate his arguments or objections. Prepare rebuttals to address anything your colleague might throw at you.     5    . It also strengthens your points without being confrontational, and allows you to give him credit for his constructive comments when necessary.