2 . Social Masking

Amanda is always an expert at working the room. She would adopt the manner of the people around her to fit in while hiding her true personality. This is social masking, the process of hiding your natural way of interacting with others so you can feel accepted.     1    Instead, they are hoping to fit in with everybody else. Social masking is a set of learned pattern-matching behaviors, movements and actions where you try to be normal to fit in rather than stand out.

    2    People all wear certain social masks in order to get through some tricky life situations with confidence, according to Dr. Tara Quinn-Cirillo. And some experts even think social masking is built in all human beings at a physical level, adding that something in our brain gives indications of how to essentially stay safe and not stick out.

In a world that often tells us to just be ourselves, you might wonder why we are still dependent on these social masking behaviors. “Social masking happens because we as a species want to be included,” says Tara. “It has been a tribal thing of being together rather than being on our own, from a historical perspective.     3    ”

There is a huge difference between naturally identifying with someone and consciously social masking.    4    Social masking, on the other hand, involves a conscious effort to change your personality to suit your surroundings. It typically involves depressing your natural urges and changing your personal interests to fit the crowd.

A．Social maskers do not try hard to match other people in pace and tone.

B．Social masking is something we all engage in to some extent.

C．Social maskers are not trying to fox anyone.

D．When we are in natural identification with someone, it happens naturally, and there is very little effort involved.

E．It’s adopted by people unable to naturally act in a way considered socially acceptable.

F．That is, it’s an ancient part of our evolution to socialize, rather than be anti-social or a misfit.

4 . Acceptance, love, and respect are valued by all.     1     It is about making connections with others at work, in friendships, and by sharing interests. Simply feeling part of a group is healthy for mind and body, and for those around!

According to Forbes, love, belonging, and social connection are an important part of psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy (等级) of needs. A sense of belonging comes right after Maslow’s basic physiological and safety needs are met. This type of social connection is found in a group.     2     It can also be found in a couple, family members, or friends. This is because humans love to be loved. And without this sense of belonging, people may feel depressed, lonely, and socially anxious.

    3     A PLOS ONE study looking at both children and adults found that those who were part of multiple groups had higher personal self-esteem. This is because people get meaning from belonging and take pride in their group memberships.

It’s also essential to be genuine when joining a group. Being genuine signals openness and can help in building trust with others. Being open also brings out empathy, which can lead to a feeling of belonging.

Another tip is to embrace a group that shares a common purpose.     4     People will come, the sense of togetherness will be established, and the feeling of belonging will be developed. Belonging to a group often leads to long-lasting relationships with others.

Connection brings meaning to one’s life. Those who belong to a group feel like they are contributing to something larger and more important than themselves.     5    

A．If there is no such group, form one.

B．The key to belonging is via membership.

C．Creating these positive feelings is easier than one thinks.

D．These memberships can help people manage stress better.

E．Improving one’s sense of connection requires making an effort.

F．It can be large like religious organizations or social media groups.

G．So join a group or two to cultivate that amazing sense of belonging.

5 . What do you do when you receive an invitation to an event that you do not want to attend or that you cannot attend due to your busy schedule? In that case, we simply can’t act on everything our heart feels.     1     Here are some right ways to decline (拒绝) an invitation without hurting others’ feelings.

Respond in a timely manner.

    2     It’s OK to put off responding if you’re unsure at first, but give yourself a deadline to figure it out — and stick to it. Always respond to invitations in a timely manner.

    3    

It’s OK to say you’re sorry that you can’t make an event, but it’s better to redefine it as a positive. Rather than apologizing, say how happy you are that they invited you and that while you can’t make it this time, you look forward to getting together with them in the future.

Don’t say “maybe”.

Procrastinating (拖延) by saying “maybe” usually means it’s a no.     4     Saying “maybe” is a way of making yourself feel better, but it leaves the other person hanging, which is unkind.

Don’t try to control the other person’s feelings.

There’s the assumption that we can decline without hurting anyone else’s feelings, but we can’t ensure the other person’s experience. They may feel sad or disappointed when you decline,. but that’s OK.     5    

A．Focus on the positive.

B．Be honest but not too honest.

C．Don’t leave the host hanging.

D．It’s fine to decline via digital means.

E．Most people will understand that life just gets busy.

F．So just go ahead and say no if that’s really what you mean.

G．Instead, we should learn how to politely say “no” to an invitation.

6 . Feel exhausted after a party? Rather see one close friend than a group of acquaintances? Enjoy your own company? In our world, that makes you an introvert (内向的人). However, there’s another possible explanation — vertical attachment. If you are closer to your parents and family members than to your peers, you are vertically attached, which means you rely more on family for comfort.

If you are closer to your peers, then you are peer attached. We live in a peer-oriented world. We believe that having lots of friends means that we are well-adjusted. We put our kids in playgroups and daycare for peer interaction. We expect teenagers to want to hang out with their friends, thinking it is the natural way of things.

Result? Generations often feel worlds apart. We use different language, dress, and technology apps. Even if multiple generations are invited to the same party, the kids go to the basement playroom while the parents stay upstairs.

Vertically-attached individuals can feel out of place in this context, demonstrating the traces of introversion. Will they be exhausted after a party with same-aged acquaintances? Absolutely. Would they rather spend time with one close friend? Sure. Do they enjoy alone time? Yes, more than they enjoy time fitting in with peers.

It’s normal that many people need alone time to recharge. However, vertically-attached people often label themselves as introverted. They feel insecure that others have more friends and live richer lives. They claim that their family attachments arise from their loved ones being stuck with them.

If you feel these insecurities, know that there is nothing wrong with you, and you are not missing out on anything. Your attachment style is just different from the culture where you live. Have confidence in the strength of the relationships you have, whether it is with a mom who feels more like a best friend, or a grandmother with whom you can share anything. They are meaningful, enriching relationships, even if they look different from the cultural norm.

1. Who is vertically attached according to the text?

A．Mike, who feels at ease with his teachers.

B．Maggie, who enjoys film time alone at weekends.

C．Tom, who feels burnt out after a family get-together.

D．Lisa, who often turns to her dad when things are hard.

2. What is the popular belief among parents?

A．Younger generations should be self-disciplined.

B．Being sociable is a desired quality for their children.

C．Their children need more friends than they themselves do.

D．Different generations should have different circles of acquaintances.

3. What advice is given to vertically-attached people?

A．Be that as it may, just leave it as it is.

B．Never underestimate your inner power.

C．Hang out more with friends and adjust to it.

D．Treat others the way you want to be treated.

4. What is the author’s attitude towards vertically-attached people?

A．Biased.

B．Objective.

C．Unconcerned.

D．Critical.

7 . Boundaries are personal guidelines that define what is and isn’t okay in your interpersonal relationships. As everyone has different needs and comfort levels, they may appear different for each person. Having healthy boundaries may provide such benefits as avoiding burnout, boosting self-esteem and maintaining personal space.     1     After setting your boundaries, it’s helpful to review them on a regular basis to remain relevant to your life circumstances.

    2     The way you set them reflects your attitude to taking responsibility in life. Taking the time to think about your wants and needs in different situations will help you understand how your values influence boundary-setting. Once you have made the list of your values, needs, and wants, use that knowledge to establish clear boundaries that respect yourself and those around you.

Once you have identified your boundaries, it is important to communicate them effectively.     3     Express your ideas in an open and straightforward manner; speak up for yourself so that others can hear, understand and respect your needs. Additionally, take a step back if tensions arise during a conversation about setting boundaries. Allow yourself or the other person to cool down before restarting the conversation.     4    

When learning how to set healthy boundaries, it is essential to learn how to say “no”. Saying “yes” to everything can lead to stress, burnout, and frustration. It is important to understand what you consider acceptable and unacceptable, setting limits that reflect those standards.     5     If the situation persists, remove yourself from it respectfully. You deserve more than surrounding yourself with people who don’t value your values.

A．Honesty and respect play an essential key role in the process.

B．Initially, you are supposed to identify your personal boundaries.

C．When you feel that someone has crossed your boundaries, remind them.

D．Therefore, setting healthy boundaries is of vital importance in social activities.

E．Keep saying “no” to things you disapprove of helps to understand yourself better.

F．This contributes to finding possible solutions to issues regarding boundary-setting.

G．Pick up the conversation unless there appears another argument needed to be settled.

8 . Kindness May Keep You Healthy

If you are driving in the United States, you may see a common bumper (汽车保险杠) sticker on passing vehicles that reads:     1     The saying is meant to urge people to behave in a gentle, caring, and helpful way towards others without thinking or planning ahead.

    2     In one experiment, Brian are, an anthropologist (人类学家) at Duke University, asked a group of people to perform three acts of generosity for other individuals each week. These acts could be small, like opening a door for someone. The people who were caring, gentle and friendly towards others reported experiencing contentment, satisfaction and happiness.

However, being kind is not just emotionally beneficial. Lyubomirsky studied a group of people with the disease Multiple Sclerosis (多发性硬化).     3     Her research also pointed out that people showing kindness to others had less inflammation (炎症) in their bodies. And in other studies, Lyubomirsky said more anti-viral genes were found in people who extended a helping hand to other people

    4     In one study, researchers gave people a list of values — such as kindness, creativity, ambition, tradition, security, seeking social justice, and seeking power. When asked to pick the most important, kindness won.

“The basic reason why people are kind,” Oliver Curry, explained, the research director at Kind-lab that is a non-profit organization, “is that we are social animals. Kindness is as much a part of us as our anger, grief or desire.”    5    

A．Perform random acts of kindness

B．Acts of kindness are very powerful

C．In other words, we are designed to be kind.

D．She found that they felt better physically when helping others.

E．Research shows that doing kind things can make us feel better

F．He found that being kind makes people feel better emotionally,

G．Other research has shown that many people prize kindness above other values

9 . Go on a 15-minute Tour

Didn’t someone say that life is about the journey, not the destination?     1     when you are focused only on getting to the next meeting, starting your next class period, or hurrying to send an email, you’re missing all of the people between Points A and B.

To commit some time to the journey, take some time to walk around where you work and notice your surroundings.     2     Also, some of the smaller yet critical social clues that exist right under your nose will be concentrated on again.

    3     Things to look for include the look and feel of people’s work spaces, the timing of when different people move around the office, and which people seek interaction versus those who stay at their desks all day.

After your first observation tour, select a different day to tour your workspace for moods. Other people’s moods can provide you with critical clues about how things are going.     4     Focus on what you see, hear, and pick up on in other people.

Schedule 15 minutes to tour your workplace twice a week for a month and be sure to avoid making too many assumptions or conclusions — just simply observe.     5    

A．You’ll be amazed at what you see along the way.

B．Spare a little time to closely monitor each person’s progress.

C．Notice what people may be feeling when you drop by to talk briefly.

D．During any workday, take just 15 minutes to observe neglected things.

E．You generally love the breathtaking landscape and people’s performances.

F．Going on a short tour will help you get in tune with other people and their emotions.

G．To become socially aware, remember to enjoy the journey and notice people along the way.

10 . A workable and pretty easy solution to improving your listening skills is that you begin to realize how much of your ability to be an effective listener is really about you, not the other person and how fascinating or boring they are.     1    

We tend to assume that listening is little more than showing up and paying attention to the other person.     2     It’s worth noticing how we instinctively (本能地) listen in conversation and whether or not that given listening mode is really what’s called for.

You need to identify your personal “hot spots”.     3     Whether it’s talking about climate change or Father’s Day, when you are not interested at all, you realize it is hard to concentrate. That kind of self-knowledge comes by having a scientific approach and observing yourself in action.

    4     For example, your surrounding environment, the topic at hand, or even particular company may affect your ability to listen. When you do this, you can more easily see what gets in the way of your ability to listen and understand. Thus that makes many of our work-related conversations much easier.

In a performance review or heated debate, you can remind yourself if you’re having an emotional response to feedback and are having trouble hearing the other person out. Observing and learning from your behavior, and noticing how you are affected by your surroundings help you uncover your unique needs for doing your best listening.     5    

A．Considering external factors is also important.

B．Besides, get curious about your conversation style.

C．In fact, if they’re boring, in some ways that is on you.

D．But it’s also deeply tied to paying attention to ourselves.

E．Effective listening is about creating the space for others to express themselves.

F．The topics are what uniquely set you off and emotionally inspire you in some ways.

G．Those are going to help everything from meetings to client presentations run smoothly.